quacky: -----+---+-----

Would you guys mind

If I closed down this Blogsome Blog and moved it into a proper WordPress.com site, like here? ( I mean HERE )

Your Money, Your Job … Your Life, With Alison Rosen (McSweeney’s)

Being poor is like being in the asshole witness protection program. –Alison Rosen via Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Google Knows

There’s nothing like a search engine’s cached, or suggested, queries to set things straight in how one views the world of human relationships. Innit? [Hover mouse to enlarge screens]

15 Uses For Vodka @ McSweeney’s

Will Bailey writes for McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, 15 Uses For Vodka. Here are two I love: Make your own vodka sauce. Pour vodka directly onto food. Vodka sauce. Clean your gun with a vodka-soaked rag. Now your gun will smell like vodka when you show it to people.

PoeBox.jpg (JPEG Image, 449x450 pixels)

PoeBox.jpg (JPEG Image, 449x450 pixels) I was actually trying to find something else, about the singer/pop personality named Poe. But I kept running in to cute old Edgar Allen!

Paul Pearson: Wake Up, Scandinavia!

My favorite culture blogger Paul Pearson, writes in Wake Up, Scandinavia!: Every year my family and I look forward to the arrival of the new IKEA catalog. I keep the children home from the salt mines, sizzle up a mess of Swede Meatballs (”Swede” is short for “Swedish”), fill the room ...

Bluebird of Hopelessness / Lost Cause @ Shirt.Woot

First off, No you can’t have this shirt. It’s all gone. Ha! I’m wearing this shirt today. Sometimes I wear it to make a point. Sometimes I just wear it. I bought it from Shirt.Woot almost a year ago? And never actually read their wonderful post describing it. It’s cool ...

F*CK YOU BRAIN!

Great NYT articleBrain Is a Co-Conspirator in a Vicious Stress Loop - NYTimes.com says: “chronically stressed rats los[e] their elastic rat cunning and instead f[a]ll back on familiar routines and rote responses, like compulsively pressing a bar for food pellets they ha[ve] no intention of eating” … and of course i ...

Amazing tale of “Porcini Powder” from Hong Kong Phoodey

Porcini Powder – Opium for the cooks « Hong Kong Phoodey the umami taste was so potent it actually hit me on a mental level. It felt like I was tweaked on drugs. So I think I’m going to have to use it a bit more sparingly, otherwise eating may become ...

The Answer is a Question

I think I’ve made a discovery so significant, it penetrates to the heart of so many other human pursuits. Yes, I do mean “human”, in that it applies to all of us. It’s not so narrow as to be merely a cultural thing, or a modern thing. But I think ...

Rules for Modern Living: Your Flash Drive Says A Lot About Your Lifestyle

Um if you carry this kind of stuff around on your flash drive, it’s probably best not to lose track of it, I’m thinking. MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM Tor Browser MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM ...

Titty Sauce Yams @ Eat Me Daily, new food crush?

Retro Recipes: Titty Sauce Yams, 1961 is part of a series of blogs, that I just don’t have the time to read right now. From a wonderfully literate and elegantly witty food writer. I love Stephanie Butler’s prose, and her take on this old wack-job cookbook from the good old ...

Horrible AD for Milk

The got milk? people have done something unconscionable.

Stax-Volt Singles MESS

Complete Stax/Volt Singles 1959-1968 boxset. I just came across a bunch of these Stax-Volt box sets that I could have for relatively cheap. What a treasure! But there’s one problem, the MP3 tags are impossible! For whatever reason, they’re not auto-tagging from the web, or with my MP3 tagging programs. ...

Maybe I’m doing it wrong…

I’m trying to figure out how to make money posting things on the internet. Note I don’t call it ‘blogging.’ I know a fair bit about this, and I have ethics. That right there, I bet, is my problem. Thing is, I think to make money posting things on the internet, ...

Jamie Oliver to tackle fatties

Watch yourself! Jamie is coming! Jamie Oliver and American Idol host Ryan Seacrest join forces to fight obesity in the USA | Mail Online. In other news, the Olivers are a couple of nutters: The new project comes just a month after Oliver and wife Jools, 34, celebrated the arrival of their third ...

Carrot_Top has Twitter

Shaving my nipples the only way a real man can…. with black electrical tape. 6:27 PM Apr 17th from web Boiled a dozen eggs, colored them and covered them in glitter. I then shoved them up a Malaysian man’s ass for the cost of free ninety-nine. 7:53 PM ...

two oldschool unix aphorisms

$ man awesome Warning: do not booby-trap your finger daemon, unless you are prepared for infinite finger loops.

I really must reiterate the fact that the name “Quacky” is nothing to do with ducks

“Quack Attack” - T-shirt by Brian Walline

Google Ad Wackiness

I don’t have anywhere else to put this kind of thing:

almost a month later

Vote for Zach: Or Mitch Hedburg. That would be good too.

I along with many others tried [blank] in college

I’m just gonna predict here: “I along with many others tried Linux during college” will inspire a ridiculous internet meme for a while. Maybe there’s something else going on here, maybe the “news” is being pranked, a la the adequacy.org of yore. Betcha fifty bucks!

Viceland.com DO #1657 - Possible holiday wishes for 2008

“Next time you’ve taken so much ketamine that the carpet pattern keeps permutating and growing into a giant gnome body with a grinning Chinese genie face, don’t freak out—jump on him. That fucker’s got wishes out the yazoo.”

Two (no 3!) things from Zaius Nation

Know your Party and A Pretty Girl in a Cape is like a Melody Like whoa. How is it that I never have posted Zaius Nation before, you know? [Update: She Creatures a band of blue haired babes!!!]

Amazon.com: The Muppet Christmas Carol - Kermit’s 50th Anniversary Ed.

Amazon.com: The Muppet Christmas Carol - Kermit’s 50th Anniversary Edition Since a complete widescreen version obviously does exist in the Disney archives (the Laserdisc version in the mid 90s was both widescreen AND complete), one can only wonder how and why Disney made this very insensitive and unprofessional decision! To quote ...

The tag cloud is dead. Long live the tag cloud. | Social Signal

The tag cloud is dead. Long live the tag cloud. | Social Signal September 9, 2008 - 3:54am Ahem. I beg to differ…

Working on some super-heroes

Today, in between making spreadsheets and purchase orders and taking statistics (or metrics) of things, I am also making superhero avatars. Here are a few: The first one is a girl superhero, with a tail and wings, I call her Kir. The second one is a little bit muscular guy ...

at work - the fridge has a name

here. this is the bad thing about naming appliances in the staff room: “Does anyone know what happened to the 1/2 bag of shredded cheese left in Gretel?

Klipsch iGroove - buy them

Amazon.com: Klipsch iGroove HG All-in-One iPod Shelf System: Electronics I recommend to buy!

DON’T

You know you’re whipped when you let her pick out your mental illness.

Followup // Sojo.net // God’s Politics

There is now a new spiritual dimension to this election, and it is decidedly evil. God’s Politics: A Blog by Jim Wallis & Friends Okay so despite my distaste and being an asshole about the right-wing kind of christianity, they’re not all bad. Sojo.net is a case in point of what ...

Obama and Revelations 13: the dumbshits are passing out nonsense

Disclosure: this is also a diary over on DailyKOS My sister is a very active Democrat, with very liberal views, including a healthy hatred of ignorance-based right-wing bigotry. Our parents, sadly, are not this way. My father’s wife, who seems like a relatively intelligent woman, forwarded my sister some crap meme ...

Larisa Alexandrovna: Welcome to the final stages of the coup…

I’ve said this already. Larisa Alexandrovna: Welcome to the final stages of the coup… Fascism is finally and formally out of the right-wing closet even if the F word is not yet openly being used (although it should be, and often). We are in a crisis so dangerous that should these ...

FIQL Playlist - Sexy Robot Steak Lover

Sexy Robot Steak Lover Alternative | Epic / Theatrical | Rap / Hip-Hop | Rock I like to make keywords playlists with Media Monkey. It’s very easy to search my whole library, highlight good or odd picks, and pump them into a playlist. These are very fun, thematically coherent, and best ...

jigsaw #5 / interview / unwound

jigsaw #5 / interview/ Unwound Vern: we’re forever 19. Jigsaw reporter #2: how come you guys are forever 19 and not forever 18 (like the Nation of Ulysses) ? Justin: because 19 is a more awkward age. Jigsaw reporter #2: you think? Justin: yeah, it’s more fucked up. … Brandt: my favorite Melvins show was—and this is ...

OMI + MMT = I Rock

Src= Musickum.com

Quacky MIA

Hi I’ve been remiss. I stopped writing blogs on here, because I resumed writing blogs on here. It rocks. I am glad satanosphere.com is back from the dead, because diary maggots weren’t even keeping its corpse interesting. What’s new besides that, you ask? I really like google Chrome, you know, the new browser ...

Organic Batter Blaster | The Impulsive Buy

I just have a hard time believing that nobody on this web page : Organic Batter Blaster | The Impulsive Buy : has even made a joke about the other kind of “organic batter blast” you probably don’t want to Google Image Search for…

nah. i think i’m not going back

sitemeter IE issues resolved forget it.

sitemeter can bite my ass

Here and here and not a peep here. REMOVE CODE

In touch Strong will place on Engrish is absolutely

ATTENTION This product watertightness, but can’t get in touch with the Strong and sour or strong and alkaline aqua. Is project light upon by sunlight with long hours, place and will shine on to the product in the heat environment damage. Absolutely can’t at have the place usage of the flames originally ...

Boing and flop

Fimoculous.com - online - Boing Stupid old internet controversies that happen when I’m away from keyboard for several days.

Get me some Jarts

I’ll have my white noise the “natural” way, thanks

Did you know, Analog Noise Generators Are Superior? Pseudo-random noise might sound O.K. at first, but the astute person listening to pseudo-random white noise would be able to detect the subtle variations & characteristics that repeat after a certain period of time. Analog noise is typically much smoother and does not ...

Sometimes renting makes far more sense..

I submit for you only this: bash.org Quote #868827.

Quotes from David Sedaris on KUOW FM Weekday

David Sedaris, on KUOW’s Weekday, 6/24/08 Steve: Think we’ll ever have a gay president? David: Golly. That’s a toughie… Only after we have, um, oh goodness… only after we have an alcoholic Chinese president, I think, we’ll have a gay president. David: I just got the internet. I saw it for the ...

Monkeys control robots with their minds

We will totally regret this one day. Scientists have trained a group of monkeys to feed themselves marshmallows using a robot arm controlled by sensors implanted in their brains

randomly generate some silly wine tasting notes right here

Finely balanced almost unripe Semillon. Reminds one of banana, sweet lemon rind and traces of salad. Drink now through 2004. Tasing Notes Genrator 1.0 Raw almost lackluster Cabernet Franc. Contains prune, arcane coffee and atomic traces of beef. Drink now through 2006. Tasing Notes Genrator 1.0

Dear Netflix, please FIX THIS!

How long will it be until Netflix uses a modal for sign-on, or at least drops me back to my search results after sign on? It seems so primitive to me that signing on to a site forces my session to the front page, with not even a breadcrumb referring ...

-Pretentious Panda.jpg-

Misc-PretentiousPanda.jpg » fukung.net It’s always been true.

YuzuMura.com - Bamboo Garden Icy-Crispy Dragon Beard Candy

Bamboo Garden Icy-Crispy Dragon Beard Candy I just like to chant the name over and over and hope that some might appear. YUM.

Vice DO

a perfect oil painting of a superhero

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe…

via Google image search: “blade runner” wallpaper

Cindy McCain is a Recipe Thief

McCain’s website had seven recipes posted under wife Cindy McCain’s section attributed as “McCain Family Recipes.” “This past Sunday, Lauren Handel, an eagle-eyed attorney from New York, was searching for a specific recipe from Giada DeLaurentis, a chef on the Food Network. Yet whenever she Googled the different ingredients in the ...

The answer is in the questions: Men Love & Sex

Introduction — What makes a man fall in love? — Why do guys always need to be in charge? — Why does our sex life run hot and cold? — Why don’t men talk like women do? — What’s really bothering my guy? — Why won’t he open up about ...

Noisebot shirts, where LOL goes to die

Noisebot Catalog So, one thing cool about internet is that any jerk with an idea can put it out there. Really enterprising jerks can collect a whole bunch of stale ideas and make them into “cool shirts”. What many people don’t realize is that it’s really easy to make stupid shirts; ...

May 27, Five Years Ago, IRC Transcript

The really funny, sad, and awesome thing is: we’re still in there. dear teddy: you know what’s the worst? when it’s early sunday morning at the golf course and all of a sudden you get last night’s leftover beer shits on the middle of a very busy, very long course. ...

Blonde Zombies

This might get posted automatically by my link posting robot over at del.icio.us. But if not, here you go. Blonde Zombies is a neat blog in Spanish that pretty much contains nothing but cover shots of old sexploitation literature, film, comics and videos. Oh and actual video clips from such ...

want to watch “DEEP INSIDE BAT PUSSY”

Matthew Allison on DVD Maniacs review of Deep Inside Bat Pussy : … as Bat Pussy, Dora Dildo attempted to get them to just fuck. Don’t film it. Just do it and keep it to your goddammed selves. Sadly, she failed. Now, on any night of the week, Americans can turn ...

bacon-wrapped mini meatloaves WOW!

“It is sort of like a tiny self contained bacon cheeseburger” From Ordering Disorder

scaling economics of IP networking

The Register: The Internet as a platform? Not as ISP bloodbath looms describes a “… problem with the current ISP model is it is like an all you can eat buffet, where one in 10 customers eats all the food, one in 100 takes his chair home too, and one ...

Eerily Morbid News Juxtaposed

Executions may be carried out at Gitmo (AP) Bush: Noose displays ‘deeply offensive’ (AP) With ‘pics or it never happened’ here:

LimerickDB / Latest

LimerickDB / Latest #232 A limerick writer got meta He thought one day “Well, guess I’d better.” So now his credentials Are self-referential And none of his last lines end properly, because apparently that’s funny. #231 there once was a girl on the net who sexed up a man she had met he said “are you free? I ...

ITALIAN SPIDERMAN

This might require me to create a ‘Bad’ category.

bacon + vodka

Brownie Points Blog : Homemade Bacon Vodka. Pretty simple really.

Holy crap, that’s it!

I don’t know what the HELL this is all about but it sure would be cool if it turns out to be true!! Surfer dude stuns physicists with theory of everything - Telegraph “My brain exploded with the implications and the beauty of the thing,” he tells New Scientist. “I thought: ...

very great wishlist

A very good buddy of mine has been traveling for business recently. I repost here, verbatim, a MySpace bulletin from him. It’s a kind of wishlist, it’s something he does regularly with the “Attention [City Name]: I’m in you tomorrow” subject. I just think the list is a small work ...

It’s Maiden, Veronica…

Viceland.com - DOs and DON’Ts

You Suck at Photoshop #2

Some things are funny. Some funny things are funnier if there are parallels to your own life. The video below is one such thing. Also, try this, if you want to experience it the exact same way I did, which I believe adds to the experience, and makes it even funnier. ...

You Suck at Photoshop #2

Interactive Model of the Cisco Catalyst 3750-E Series Switches [Cisco Catalyst 3750-E Series Switches] - Cisco Systems

Interactive Model of the Cisco Catalyst 3750-E Series Switches [Cisco Catalyst 3750-E Series Switches] - Cisco Systems I never dreamed I’d have a need for one of these, but suddenly it seems I do. Cool!

Govt Spooks Deadbeat On Bills

Slashdot | FBI Wiretaps Canceled for Non-Payment Freedom! At what cost? Well, simple, the spies don’t pay their bills: the phone company cuts them off. Just like would happen to you and me. It’s awesome. I wonder what will happen if the FBI defaults on their student loan?

Enon (do not confuse with DNS provider Enom)

Epitonic.com: Your Source for Cutting-Edge Music Wow. It’s been a reallilong time since I accidentally discovered a good band. This time, I could barely figure out how I discovered them, and I spent about sixteen and one-half internet hours grepping through my history and cache to figure out the via. The weird ...

most fun collaboration : Spank Rock and Benny Blanco

Benny-BlancoTag Archive for benny-blanco archive at Missingtoof.com It’s calld Bangers & Cash, with tracks like Pu$$y and B.O.O.T.A.Y, and mostrad cover arts like above! YAOWZA.1`!!1

Chris Hedges is my new intellectual hero

I’m reading this really energizing and scary book right now: American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War on America by seminary-educated former New York Times foreign correspondent, Chris Hedges. And Wow!! I’m not normally given to conspiracy theories (actually, I kind of am…) but I’ve got to believe ...

sperm could power nanobots

Scientists look to sperm to power nanobots - Frontiers- msnbc.com I’m sure there’s a t-shirt slogan in there somewhere.

Sleigh Ridden

So, I think I may have done permanent damage to my brain last night. I was up til about two, wrapping presents for Mrs. Quacky, and I decided it might be fun to listen to all XX recordings of Sleigh Ride in my collection, back to back. This is a LOT ...

and while you’re looking at kittens

You have got to listen to Georgia Greenberg singing Jingle Bells. Irresistable.

merry xmas from me and these kitten twins

.flickr-photo { } .flickr-frame { float: left; text-align: center; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } kitten twins 5, originally uploaded by senses working overtime. Scans from a vintage children’s book, Kitten Twins, scanned into the flickr of senses working overtime who does a wonderfully entertaining holiday music blog ...

when i read blogs

This is from google reader’s TRENDS function. As you can see it is absolutely no surprise at all.

aerspa017.jpg (JPEG Image, 640x453 pixels)

many more Soviet Space Santas

2 holiday thoughts

What if you rewrote John Denver’s weepy holiday “classic” as Please Daddy (Don’t Watch Porn On Christmas)? Okay this isn’t holiday related, at, all… but I could not find any reference on the internet to a dirty variant of a term I think I might have coined today: “text-job” or “textjob.” ...

The Snowclones Database

The Snowclones Database is a good demonstration of what should be a Rule of the Internet: If there are more than a half dozen variations of a thing, there will be a blog or wiki detailing these variations. The site’s an enumeration of phrases like, “if there is an X there ...

Super Bionic Xmas!

Some things you never really get over. For many of my “peers”, that would be Transformers, or A-Team. For me it is Super Friends and the Six Million Dollar Man. Here are two lovely album covers, and if you follow the provided link and the do a heavy bit of scrolling with ...

John K on the future

John K on all kinds of stuff writes: Just as I was becoming aware of the futureness of style, the 70s descended and everything slipped into the dark ages Style and the future disappeared from the planet. Videotaped TV programs, Saturday Morning cartoons, soft rock and Star Wars cloaked the earth ...

Experiments in deliciousness: Bacon chocolate chip cookies with maple cinnamon glaze

Choice pullquotes: Typically, I would never advocate the addition of meat to a sweet cookie, but I’ve always viewed bacon as “the candybar of meats” so I only felt slightly weird about it. Bacon panna cotta? no. Not good. Bacon Jello also wouldn’t work. I think the bacon might actually interfere with ...

Gibbon, what?

magnet

Cracking Open Hasbro’s R2-D2 Interactive Astromech Droid

I haven’t really wanted to buy myself a toy for about twenty years. But, it’s shit like this that makes me feel thirty years too old. Next year, R2 will turn 30. R2 the actor, not R2 the character, because, he’s been through some shit by the time we first ...

sadness

Evel was a formative influence in my youth.

this feels like EVERY day for me

… my exhaustion from a full day in the sun started to compete heavily with a burgeoning sensation of titlust. –Thomas Morton, from Vice Magazine - IN THE LAND OF THE JUGGALOS

Stoopit Avatars #1

Why would you choose this for your avatar? Answer in the comments please. I’ll begin. Also, let’s get together and make a collection of other really stupid avatars! And then we can make fun of them!

illustrating what’s not yet possible on American TV

OranginaUploaded by Jsp88 It’s an ad for Orangina soda, from Frenchy TV, which manages to fuse ‘art’, ’sexy’ and ‘furries’ into something crazy-hot and wrong. Waxy.org links

Jennifer Aniston Is Going To Die

No not really. But don’t you think this ad is kind of poorly designed? And, who the hell that creepy little St.Jude guy on the right?

I’m poor

Ever wonder how housing finance crises get started? … [the] five-bedroom house in the good school district, the high-quality medical care, the college education, the designer clothes, etc. — credit becomes a lever that pushes up the prices of these goods exponentially. Whoever is willing to take on the most credit ...

Seth’s Blog: The noisy tragedy of the blog commons

Words to live by: By writing too much, too often, we’re trouncing on the attention of the commons…. Blogs with restraint, selectivity, cogency and brevity (okay, that’s a long way of saying “making every word count”) will use attention more efficiently and ought to win. Seth’s Blog: The noisy tragedy of the ...

smoke

San Diego Weather, 10/24/2007 The smoke graphic is, to me, a poignant representation of the horror that must be Southern California right now.

I’m from the internet

Don’t worry ma’am. .. | Incredimazing Sorry. This is not at all indicative of the kind of people I’m proud to associate with. It’s just, well. It’s just that it’s probably kind of true. Not true of me, per se, but true of the internet. Again, I’m sorry. Via

the sunrises

.flickr-photo { } .flickr-frame { float: left; text-align: center; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } the sunrises, originally uploaded by Quacky.

porn, it’s in your lie berry

denver - news - Porn in the USA we can’t win

currently listening

MySpace.com - Celebration - BALTIMORE - www.myspace.com/celebrationcelebration

Enormous Milla

Enormous Milla shows what NOT to wear when you are pregnant | the Daily Mail Well. I’m only putting this on here because the headline is funny, and the picture is, well, stunning. I’m not endorsing the daily mail making fun of Milla, and I’m certainly not looking kindly on the ...

is DR Horton going to finish building Woodbury Crossing?

Woodbury Crossing Community - D.R.Horton - America’s Builder I filled out a “more info” form tonight from DR Horton. They’ve been building like crazy in our community, and I’d like to see what happens if I try and contact them about a home in this “community.” I’ve had a hunch for ...

The Electric Kite

“and the … ” From The Young Mans Book of Amusement - The Electric Kite As with all the content of “The Young Man`s Book of Amusement“, this is presented on-line for information only. Please don`t attept to fly a kite during a storm. Lightning is extremely dangerous, see “A large ...

… in conjunction with local inflammatory events

Headache …is arguably the commonest of the human ills, and perhaps, in proportion to its impact, one of the least well understood. With respect to the cause of the pain the mechanisms are much less well understood for the primary than for the secondary headaches. Whereas the pain due to injury to ...

Fucked in the Head

“When your ear itches and you scratch it with your finger, what feels better, the ear or the finger?” Savage Love Web Extra : Fucked in the head, I guess it’s called, is a collection of reader-submitted wacky childhood perceptions about how sexy stuff works. It’s delightful and scary and ...

Rotten Neighbors

I can’t waste time figuring out how to link to a specific entry on here. But I have a friend who’s moving into a house they purchased on Beacon Hill in Seattle, so hopefully, you all can zoom in to find the item that’s right next to Beacon Hill on ...

Hot Marcia on Jan Lesbo Action

BRADY BUNCH - BRADY BUNCH STAR REVEALS ALL ABOUT LESBIAN FLING WITH TV SISTER Just keep reading this couple lines over and over again until you explode or fall down: “The most explosive comments will be how the then-blonde, blue-eyed cutie [Marcia] developed a crush on [Jan] Eve Plumb, which led to ...

For The War, For the Troops : pattonoswalt MySpace Blog

I’m sorry, but your “reasoning” is unreasonable and childish. And this is not bullshit Hollywood propaganda. I got these facts from talking to combat veterans, and hearing first-hand their stories of being screwed over. Myspace.com Blogs:pattonoswalt MySpace Blog

Bullet Quotes from “Rigid Scholarship”

Rigid Scholarship on Male Sexuality - Chronicle.com is a kind of three-way book report from Camille Paglia who I guess has been actively writing things in the ten or whatever years since I last even wondered what she was up to. But wait! it’s a book report about scholarly books ...

devils

RACKS: photoshop contest

Do your worst fourteen year old boy imitation in your mind when thinking up a funny photoshop for this book cover I hijacked from the library. And…. go! GIS racks [nsfw]

How Come No More Pres.Cands on MySpace?

I really miss seeing 2008 presidential candidates in the “Cool New People” box when I go MySpace. I wonder why they’ve stopped showing up in there of late? I guess it could be due to the fact that all the hip and with-it presidential candidates are already in MySpace, so ...

Psst. Pass it on… “there’s no way in hell you’ll ever be as cool as this guy.”

Ceci n est pas un profil de myspace Because, he’s so cool, he’s incomprehensible.

Madam+with+her+Toilet.jpg (image)

This is neat! Images of “the future” as posited by The French in 1900 or so. I think this particular print seems quite romantic. BEEZZZZZT! CLACK CLACK CLACK!!!

Debian Or Ubuntu: Which Linux Distribution Do You Prefer?

Jon Holato » Debian Or Ubuntu: Which Linux Distribution Do You Prefer? Also, as an exercise for the reader: GIS debian girl vs. GIS ubuntu girl.

Circle Of Nudity

Circle of Nudity — NSFWDUH. Up until now, I have never wished I had thirty penises. [ just kidding, mrs.quacky! ]

greater length is only half the story

You have to watch this advertisement for Pall Mall cigarettes from 1955. It is excellent. The first thing that leaps out at me, is how the announcer guy rhymes “Pall Mall” with “gal pal.” It just gets better from that point onward.

Bull breaks loose at State Fair, rams fire hydrant and dies

Bull breaks loose at State Fair, rams fire hydrant and dies The bull hit the fire hydrant and fell dead next to it, just across the street from the popular all-you-can-drink milk booth… Unfortunately it is unknown at this time whether the impact of the charging bull busted open the fire hydrant, ...

Please describe how you feel about: Fresh Fruit

Another survey about food. This one took about thirteen hours to complete (because I’m trying to look like I’m actually working) and I earned twelve dollars American. What you have to do to understand the oddness of this item is to silently remind yourself for each line or criterion, by ...

rare google search term: pampernaut

pampernaut i’m not sure what the futures are for this term. We’ll just have to wait it out.

things we need downtown more than a new city hall

.flickr-photo { } .flickr-frame { float: left; text-align: center; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } 0825071157.jpg, originally uploaded by Quacky. I have nothing to add, except maybe “better library”

wine holder crackups

Holdups™ Refrigerator Wine Bottle Holder I saw this neat-O fridge add-on a couple weeks ago on Kitchen Gadgets.com, and it’s since come way down in price. I can’t really feel comfortable spending less than five dollars at a relatively unknown online retailer I’ve never heard of, just because I don’t like ...

sad food attitudes

so this afternoon I’m doing another one of these surveys I’ve talked about. it kind of makes me feel like the American attitudes and general approach to food is really fucked up and sad. Here’s just one sample question. Below you will see a list of statements that have to do ...

“we call it ‘Tuesday’”

Unfortunate (Sexual) Things About Being a Man When a woman has an uncontrollable desire to have sex all the time at the expense of her hygiene, safety, and personal health, we call it “nymphomania.” When a man experiences the same thing, we call it “Tuesday.”

Superjail.

Apparently this should be on tee vee sometime the beginning of 08. Hopefully the world doesn’t become like this by that time, on account of, i dunno, total economic collapse or something. Also good for a headspin is a little one called Space War. Both of these animated works are from ...

gapingvoid:why we’re all blogging less

Italian pasta products :: I have no effing idea what is going on in picture

What’s a Wiennie Lotta?

So my dad gave us a wonderful cookbook for our wedding. It’s called Feeding the Flock : First Baptist Church, Cokato, Minnesota, 1871-2007. Please, if you are a Library of Congress person, forgive my title punctuation. It’s full of many wonderful recipes and cuisine examples from around the globe. All ...

booze camp

the really cool thing about going “all-inclusive” is it’s like Booze Camp.

The Plastic Surgery In Costa Rica Is Amazing!

We’re back, and better than ever!! It’s the new and improved Mr&Mrs Quacky!

sorry, thanks, and hiatus

I’m really really glad so many people had so much fun when we got married!! We had a blast and loved seeing everyone. THANKS!!! The new wife and I are now off to see monkeys and sloths and millions of butterflies in Costa Rica. Won’t be back to writing probably until ...

bagina.jpg

bagina.jpg (JPEG Image, 400x166 pixels) Found by Godzilla_eats_tokyo who claims I made it.

kewl n00 ppl 4 teh pr3z

It’s a really interesting moment in American political discourse, now that candidates have discovered social networking as part of the normal and expected campaign trail.

at least it’s not Satan

You are The Devil Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition. Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are ...

Love advice from the 56K era

We do not intend for this report to be an abbreviated sex manual. Its purpose is to introduce you to some basic principles and philosophies of the sexual fulfillment of single women, and to encourage you to learn as much as you can about a single woman’s sexual needs, wants, ...

Tamarindo, Costa Rica (Guanacaste) : weather

Weather Forecast | Weather Maps

an old-school whiner

“Although I am familiar with printer hardware and networking protocols, installation on my LaserJet 6MP and PC running Windows XP Pro was difficult. Firstly, the print server did not fit into the available space in the comparment housing the Centronics port, so I had to leave the right rear cover ...

Message in a Bottle - Bottled Water - Luxury Water - Mineral Water

This is one of those well-researched pieces of writing that makes you gape with astonishment one or two times per paragraph. If I did pull-quotes for the whole thing, I’d only end up NOT pasting about 1/5 of the whole text. I first encountered this Charles Fishman guy on last ...

Porcine Revolver

The Benign Comedy writes: With all this skirt-chasing and ghost-wrangling, you’d expect to hear the music follow the drama. When he’s thrusting his porcine revolver into the loins of the subdued, dude should at least have a nice bolero chugging away. That’s what I’m talkin bout…

‘Magisterial, Precise, Unsettling’

Fill in the blank with someone you know : ___________________ is one of the most recognisable music critics around — or at least his style is, not least for its willingness to tackle pop music as an art form worthy of sustained intellectual discourse rather than as a fleeting moment of ...

ATTN: Tweetybirds

You are all still welcome to practice your boxing moves at the back of my throat. Until I am not so stressed out that I need a ValiumRx to have normal BP, no otolaryngologist will be hacking me out a new breathing hole. Sorry for the undue concern this may have ...

Free Banana Platform

Defunker : Top Hat Monkey by Resource Rags Sir Monkey of Essex was actually mayor for three weeks before anybody even noticed. His Free Banana platform was widely accepted.

banana

Let me lead you through it: Read this OverCompensating.com comic In the comments, read along for the inspiration, this loopy, unawares, youtube video co-starring Kirk Cameron (”The Way of the Master”, “God’s perfect fruit”) Start searching, and find eBay Forums: Very old Banana pull along toy with … : I dumpster dove last night, ...

Uvula, we hardly knew-vula

Wikipedia: Palatine Uvula / Uvula in popular culture NB: As of Thursday 6/21, 4:30pm, this scene will no longer play out near the back of my throat.

Mainstream-O-Meter

I’m openly stating here, I am only 17.46% mainstream. All you arrogant punk-ass snobs who think I’ve sold out to the soulless corporatism of middle-American bourgeois sameness can suck it. Last.fm-Mainstream-O-Meter P.S. I think they’re wrong about RJD2.

Adam’s Asian Peanut Butter Sandwich and Otsu

The Amateur Gourmet: Adam’s Asian Peanut Butter Sandwich Otsu These are saved for if it ever gets to feel like summer where we live, because I too get lazy and don’t want to make food in the house then. Both these recipes turn me on! it’s summer. Why eat something hot? Eat otsu–beautiful, ...

LawnSite.com

You know, it occurred to me on the way to work today, that there are all kinds of professionals. And they all can totally get into what they do and the tools they use to do it. Like my froend m0rk who worked a lot in the snow industry, and ...

000fh2pk

That has to be one of the best visual jokes to come out of this whole internet fad.

The Coming Clown War

.flickr-photo { } .flickr-frame { float: left; text-align: center; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } 3182238480.jpg, originally uploaded by http://by104fd.bay104.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-bin/hmho. S’Clown Town’: Insane Clown Posse finds fans in Salem If you’ve ever heard of the Insane Clown Posse, chances are you’ve heard bad things: The band has been called “The ...

wedding perspective

SPORTSbyBROOKS - Eva Longoria Tony Parker To Spend Total Of 40000 Dollars On Wedding Cake the cake spozably costs fifteen grand just to make. the 40k price factors in the price of two $tenK first class tickets to fly it to France. Geesh. Celebretards! I don’t care how famous or “sexy” these ...

Designer vaginas grown in lab

News in Science - Designer vaginas grown in lab - 31/05/2007 I’m kind of speechless. Two points: … a condition called Mayer-von Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome, or MRKHS for short … are born with no vagina Related Stories: Grow your own bladder, News in Science 4 Apr 2006 Grow your own nipples, News in Science 5 Apr ...

Vegas

I like to share for you something of my childhood. My friend Dave and I used to listen to this on vinyl in their basement rec room. His parents were cool, and all parents were basically drunks. So as long as we stayed out of their hair while they had their ...

‘HEAD shirts

So I’m still looking for shirts. Well, I actually found a shirt now. Instead of an “old-school” rock shirt, that seemed a little pretentious or something, I guess I’m going to get a “stoner rock” shirt from a current band that I actually like listening to. Which would be High ...

UNDERGROUNDTSHIRTS.COM - DAMNED PHANTASMAGORIA TSHIRT

UNDERGROUNDTSHIRTS.COM - DAMNED PHANTASMAGORIA TSHIRT What do you think? Should I get this $29 shirt?

Advil

Amazon.com: Advil Ibuprofen, 200 mg, Coated Tablets 200 coated tablets: Health & Personal Care

last.fm album quilt thingy

table.lastfmWidget td {margin:0 !important;padding:0 !important;border:0 !important;}tr.lastfmHead a:hover {background-position:0 0 !important;}tr.lastfmEmbed object {float:left;}tr.lastfmFoot td.config a:hover {background-position:0 0 !important;}tr.lastfmFoot td.view a:hover {background-position:-85px 0 !important;}tr.lastfmFoot td.popup a:hover {background-position:-159px 0 !important;} Normally thingies like this don’t turn me on hard enough to put them on a page. Last.fm makes some pretty neat thingies though, and ...

Sorry

Some eCards has an eCard for practically every occasion besides those occasions that are already covered by Hallmark and American Greetings. With clipart stylings reminiscent of MNFTIU.cc’s David Rees, and poignant sentiments covering everything from apologies to workplace relations… Some eCards is the place to click.

Custom T-Shirts / SpeedySigns

My friend wanted answers for this question “if you had a thong with a built in chalkboard … waht would you write on your girl’s thong?” I guess it was for a punchline on a blog he writes. I kept only thinking of Hazard signs, and that seemed popular and kind ...

Whatevs … Is Totes Stoops …

In a brief piece, ENOUGH ALREADY! - Whatevs, Slang Is Totes Stoops In Charge, Vice magazine writers declare the end of cultish obsessive slang fads: So, to be clear, here’s what’s out: whatevs, ’tevs, gnarls, defs, probs, stoops, totes. Adding “-wise,” “status,” “much?” or “in charge” to the ends of ...

vibrating ring

I’m not so sure it’s worth the carpal tunnel syndrome, but lately I find myself answering consumer research surveys for “money.” I thought the thing I was signing up for was something to do with earning airline miles? But it’s actually not … It’s actually consumer research, and when they ...

youtube ruining a good thing

Online video-clip websites killed your TV … Well not really. I actually believe YouTube is good for the TV business. It was funny to me, because I kept on clicking the PLAY triangles on the t-shirt. And NOTHING HAPPENS!

foster kitten

.flickr-photo { } .flickr-frame { float: left; text-align: center; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } foster kitten, originally uploaded by Quacky. I don’t really have anything to do with the fostering of this kitten. It is being fostered by one of the technicians that work with my Fiancee ...

get your 128 bit integers, freely

F7 9E 22 86 DA FC 48 32 45 4F 76 13 12 9F 77 E3 Freedom to Tinker » Blog Archive » You Can Own an Integer Too — Get Yours Here Because if you don’t claim it today, someday the entertainment and/or publishing industry might own it!

Cheaf of Cheaze

Chreate Cheezy Craps I can’t stop making these.

Scientists: masturbation not as good as sex | The Register

Scientists: masturbation not as good as sex | The Register The levels of prolactin in the blood of subjects who committed an act of self-pollution after watching grumble flicks were just one fifth of those who had had actual sex in the lab.

i surveyed well

I got this survey I’m not supposed to talk about until it goes “hard” (it’s still “soft” right now, so SHHH). I think it turned kind of funny after it started figuring out my lifestyle. Here are a few choice bits with my answers in bold: * Do you floss regularly? Yes No * ...

Rehab failed Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is Still Drunk: IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com: : “It’s pretty bad when you have to be MacGyver to find ways to make people think you’re not a drunk, but hey, that’s what alcoholics do.” I don’t think it’s Lindsay’s fault, because rehab was supposed to fix her, right? I mean how ...

BWE: Celebrity Math

I really like what they’ve come up with at the Best Week Ever blog. It’s called Celebrity Math. What they do is add together or multiply or divide or subtract together kind of iconic pictures of celebrities from the past … to equal new celebrity moments. Like “recently released topless Britney Spears ...

Wookie Eat Yoda

knowledge is power

I got a Tumblr

Hey Quacky! is a Tumblr “blog” I just opened up. ” Tumblelogs are like blogs with less fuss. Tumblr is your friendly and free tool for creating tumblelogs. ” Which is sort of a way to say, if you wanted your mom, or your seven year old or your teletubby to ...

Bang Bang

I’m not gonna say that thinking in this nation or in this day and age is swinging back around to something that makes sense or works better in a Leave it To Beaver kind of way… But I like to read stuff like this. Just good solid thinking about how ...

internet asshole for hire

Hi. So I went to the Barber yesterday. I love my barber. He is an awesome kid, and he takes the traditional barbering gig really seriously. I kind of wish they had more of the whole combs in a jar of blue fluid aspect in their shop, but whatever. It’s ...

Meow Meow Pussi!

Erotic catfood? (naughty post - don’t read if you’re easily offended) from Play Like a Girl [ who you should read right now because she is featuring more wacky Swede products like ‘SPUNK’ and ‘Plopp’ and ‘Pricks’!!! ] In Sweden you can do things like name catfood suggestively. I don’t know ...

Dethroner: Bachelor Parties Week

At no point is a man more sure he’s ready to commit to a lifetime with one woman than when he’s buried neck deep in the crotch of a stripper so filled with cocaine her vagina looks like a snow drift. — – Dethroner does Bachelor Parties It’s finally reached the point ...

Might, Sex, Money and Hamburger Stands

Making Blogging Pay over at The Nation has some of the same thrust I was making on Saturday about grabbing this whole left politics things by the balls and pulling hard. You have to PAY people to make powerful moves that actually work, no matter how much the left thinks ...

SiteMeter BOO!

I’ve decided to leave SiteMeter for the time being, unless they publicly announce that they’ve refused noxious spyware partnerships. I’ve heard of larger blog networks that depend on free SiteMeter service for stats threatening to leave as well. Cf: NetWizard’s Blog: SiteMeter and Spyware (Sort of).

of course it’s possible to go too far …

Oh hell, of course everything is a spectrum, often in several different directions. In my previous thingy, I was all talking about polishing up the old elephant gun. Well, never content to leave things be, I did some searches on Amazon. I’d be a fool if I said I was surprised ...

Physical strength: a pre-manifesto

In a Wikipedia entry on Physical strength, one learns that “[w]hite meat is fast-twitch fiber, while red meat is slow-twitch fiber.” So what’s the difference physically? Red meat from an animal would indicate that it came from body component that is expected to operate for extended periods of time, such as ...

YesButNoButYes: First!

YesButNoButYes: First! Second would be much harder to pull off, I think.

Mew: if you’re not, you should be

I don’t know if I’d predict that these Danish guys are set to break big stateside, because I’m not the kind of guy who has a chance of pulling shit like that off. I just want you all to know, you should really be loving Mew. It’s pop, of the power ...

CAPTCHA requirement for internet

Having worked on the internet most of its adult life I have more than once groaned about how there really needs to be a license or proficiency test you had to pass to “go online.” Matthew Baldwin, the Defective Yeti guy, and hero, thought up a much more elegant solution: Internet Access ...

Magnetic Brain

.flickr-photo { } .flickr-frame { float: left; text-align: center; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } Magnetic Brain, originally uploaded by Gems from the Collection. I think I found where my next tattoo is coming from.

Guns and Yoga

Guns and Yoga starring Patton Oswalt as a “rifle-eyed street panther.” Good read. I want to shoot guns. Want to come with? Namaste. Lock and load.

I’m surprised there aren’t more…

Fat Free Half-and-half questions

a hero’s snack

+ Bacon + Popcorn : Nosheteria: Snacking Thy Name is Decadence

Viceland.com - DOs and DON’Ts

The four quadrants of awesomeness, by VICE.

paul shrug - michaelangelo of the playlist

Known Issues (a Paul Shrug blog) I’ll just show them this when people wonder just what it is that my friend Paul Shrug does working for Zune.

warrenellis stalking

Warren Ellis is heavily into M.Ward this week, and SO AM I! I wonder if Warren Ellis is also really sick of Liars because he just got hold of pretty much everything they ever recorded and just doesn’t get it… I don’t know if Warren Ellis has been listening to everything he ...

War on Privacy Officially Over

“But we live in a time in which humiliation and fame are not such easily distinguished quantities.” She could have embraced her notoriety. “I had everyone calling my mom: Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer, Playboy. I could have been like Paris Hilton, but that’s not me. That thing is so unlike my ...

howto stop a “mud volcano”

Efforts to plug Indonesian “mud volcano” resume - Yahoo! News I just want to mention that this is the ONLY time I’ve ever read the phrase “insert four chains of concrete balls.” I had to stop reading at about the third or fourth paragraph because the entendres were so thick.

Kids Today

This is the foundation for my new childraising manifesto. No, this IS my new childraising manifesto. Nobody in New York Knows the Difference between At-Home and Outside Conversations Yuppie kid: Mommy shaves her hoo-hoo!Yuppie dad: Okay, honey. Look, do you want your book?Yuppie kid: I came in the bathroom this ...

upstairs neighbors

Announcement: I Hate My Upstairs Neighbor :: Dethroner I was this guy. We used to be in exactly this same situation. Before killing our upstairs neighbors, we moved over one unit, and now…. WE ARE THOSE UPSTAIRS NEIGHBORS!!! MU. HAHAHA. Also: those insane, always late for work or everything in a big hurry, clog and/or ...

Bungalowing Iraq

NYO - New York World - Bungalowing Iraq So fabulous.

Procrastination :: the show with zefrank : 02-07-07

If you get very good at procrastinating … you’re ready for more generalized procrastination techniques that can be applied to any situation. These are called addictions. For example, smoking allows you to avoid pretty much anything for five minutes everytime you smoke. … same goes for masturbation, sudoku and heroin. … the great thing ...

Nietzsche Family Circus

Only about one in seven of these are good. There’s probably a Nietzsche quote like that too. Let’s see… In every philosophy there is at least one profound thought which, by its all-too-savage indictment of the Spirit of Man (Menschheitgeist), provokes satisfied “conviction”. The truths that remain satisfy only the inattentive ...

Did You Know: Long Time starts with Foreplay?

In the best piece of neuro/narco-sarcastic retrospective rock writing I’ve read in the past several weeks — The Benign Comedy: They love you Long Time — erstwhile nasty piano-bar raconteur cum rock historian, Paul Shrug writes: But the version of “Long Time” you hear on the radio isn’t the full version. ...

WKW » The chaste are weird, sick bastards and they’re at war

Guy-who-reads-this-page William K Wolfrum in a post entitled The chaste are weird, sick bastards and they’re at war says pithily, regarding the horrible fundy fad of father-daughter virginity pledges : I suppose the idea here is that if you’ve failed to teach your daughter to respect her body, then it’s better ...

Did You Know: Thank Reagan

But it is also undeniably true that the Reagan administration’s enthusiastic support for governmental deregulation — long a goal of economic conservatives — encouraged and helped finance a series of technological developments that gave the pornography industry direct access to every living room and bedroom in the country. The Decency Wars: ...

Useless Account

I

HFNGSD!!!

Dear Everyone, I wanted to make sure I rembered to wish you all a Happy National Gorrilla Suit Day! gorilla.jpg (JPEG Image, 460x546 pixels)

FOOD MARATHON: Why Haven’t They…

FOOD MARATHON: Why Haven’t They… Everything is better wrapped in bacon #321 … bacon spa body wrap. HOT!

Robinhood Fund

Robinhood Fund » The World’s First Web 2.0 Wishing Well » A Cambrian House Company Pretty cool, like those “buy me fake boobs” by donation sites from a few years ago, only for everyone with all kinds of wishes. Maybe even some fake boobs wishes on there too, I haven’t checked. See ...

pie!

Weebl and Bob - pie Happy National PIE Day!

My Favorite Manblog Does Sausage

.flickr-photo { } .flickr-frame { float: left; text-align: center; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } Turkey Sausage with Parsley and Bleu Cheese, originally uploaded by JoelJohnson. A whole week of Sausage at Dethroner!!! I really like Dethroner, and I apologize for calling them a ‘Manblog’. They have weekly ...

love the poster!

Bikini clad pussy cats! Or pussycat-masked bikini dancers! However you slice it, it’s nice! via: www.myspace.com/newwavehookers… which is some band, or DJ, or mixer guy that I’m trying to listen to.

AskMefi: What do you do with a quacky Chiro? | Ask MetaFilter

What do you do with a quacky Chiro? | Ask MetaFilter That is all.

Dancing At The Schmidt Mansion

Okay, I’m trying out a new shared playlist thingy. It’s from FIQL which I never heard of until just the other day… and I found it via this new free MP3 tagging thing called MusicIP. I can offer no opinion about either thing, because I’m just trying them out. FIQL.com - ...

Waggle Room

Waggle Room :: An SBNation Golf Blog I have no idea why it’s called that. It’s one of the newest blogs that I’ve set up for these SportsBlogs guys I’ve been helping out. There’s like a hundred different ones. Some of my firneds like the golfing so I thought I’d just put ...

Steak Feed Works Now!

My “for profit” website about Steak was broken for a really long time. Someone pointed out that fact to me yesterday, so I finally had time to fix it. Yay! Steak Feed :: comments and more Now if people would just contribute their own personal steak thoughts and experiences, 2007 will really ...

Computer Fantasy

I don’t normally do this. I don’t normally feel sympathetic to this kind of thing. (psh. who am I kidding there?) But here’s an embedded YouTube clip which provoked a hearty chuckle, and an under my breath “Yeah, cool.”

Hot Rock-And-Roll Chick Totally Married | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source

Hot Rock-And-Roll Chick Totally Married | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source which reminds me of the best thing about the Onion … it never gets old.

New New Yorker Desk Calendar

My Financee always gets me the New Yorker Cartoon Desk Page-A-Day Calendar. Some of the funniesterest stuff they put in them, that I usually take off and tape to something nearby, have as their subject matter, the ‘Net. Like this one about blogs and dogs. I love to make ...

I Wanna Be A Scatolinguist

I think I’ve finally found my academic calling. The following article will explain everything: Scatolinguistics - Wikipedia: the free encyclopedia. I can only think of two difficulties a) getting paid well and; b) once you break it down, you can’t stop thinking “poop tongue”.

hipster vs hipster

hipster.jpg hipster vs hipster

i’m so happy i found this today

marriedtothesea.com It’s called Married to the Sea and you owe it to yourself to read THEM ALL.

free mac

Bud hey, want a mac? Me : what kind, how much? Bud dunno yet, probably a macbook Bud and free Bud depends on what’s announced at macworld Bud we’re doing a whole apple-theme in jan Bud and my project is “forcing a user to switch” Me : “forcing”? Me : so … I’d be your ...

Generation S.L.U.T.

Things That Make Me Think I Was Born Twenty Years Before My Time #117 Amazon.com: Generation S.L.U.T.: A Brutal Feel-up Session with Today’s Sex-Crazed Adolescent Populace: Books: Marty Beckerman

MS Paint Porn!

My farovite one is called Uncle Sam fucks the world MS Paint Porn! Now with more “Hot sexy emoticon action“!

a deluge of dew-flaps

The Superficial: You know you’re this close to becoming a human condom when Paris Hilton is giving your pointers on being lady. Britney one-up[skirts] Paris Britney’s been hanging out with Paris lately. Apparently Paris has been giving her some lessons, and Britney the MEGA pop star she is, is going above (or ...

Women: Know your limits

Women: Know your limits There are more of these delightful little sketches to be found in YouTube by searching Harry Enfield which, one supposes, is a rather dry bit of British television.

spinner

To me, this here is the essential pop icon of the year 2006. Or the webyear 2006.11.17.15:35 anyway:

G0 DEMZ!!!

holy WET!

Chaos reigns on slick roads - News - The Olympian - Olympia, Washington Everybody is talking about how wet everything is here in the great northwest. It’s pretty crazy. I don’t think I’ve seen any rainfall as concentrated as this in the 18 years I’ve been here. Sure, last winter/spring we ...

((( Amusement Parks on Fire )))

allmusic ((( Amusement Parks on Fire > Overview ))) I’ve been trying to think this up for about a year, the third in a series after Panic! At The Disco and The Arcade Fire. I would’ve thought we’d get something with a Roller-rink though.

Bad Week For: Men

… after a British study revealed that the average man spends a full six months of his life staring at women in a slack-jawed trance of frustrated desire. I won’t actually site the study, but the bit is taken straight from THE WEEK November 10, 2006 and this news item. I ...

Get Phoned and Stuck

I think I came up with a pretty original and good idea for a shirt. Original because it’s not in google:“get phoned and stuck” - Google Search And good because it’s one of those funny sayings that I can’t think of the name of where you invert the first letters of ...

an alcoholic

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do. Dylan Thomas, in Constantine Fitzgibbon, Life of Dylan Thomas (1965) Welsh poet (1914 - 1953)

Starlet 2K6

These are the Marilyns and Ingrids of our time.

William K. Wolfrum finds my Jelqing

Some guy who writes some other blog found one of my really old posts on a familiar, sadly almost defunct, almost internet legend: Satanosphere William K. Wolfrum » Blog Archive » Jelqing: Something only Satanists and Scrabble players need be concerned about It’s a little bit embarrassing, having that stuff hanging around ...

Take THAT, brain!

Oh well, here’s the story. I sort of wonder if it’s still funny. But, anyway. Andy Baio who runs Waxy.org and the Links Miniblog has a great sense of humor, which is why his is one of the “blogs” I’ve read for the longest period of time. So today I read ...

domo arigato mr roboto indeed

il sole nudo I have no idea what’s going on here, but it’s an old tacky really awesome scifi book cover from Italy. There are thousands of them at Mondo Urania, and I can keep looking at them til the end of time. So some guy is sleeping and his robot ...

mis-targeted paper-spam

Normally I don’t have a complaint about the amount of paper-spam I receive in my USPS paper mailbox. I hardly get any, and the stuff I do get, I kind of use as an obtuse barometer of my credit health. But today I got something that made me snort and ...

OV-Watch

OV-Watch: “Time to Make a Baby” - Gizmodo Make sure you read to the end for a nicely subtle female sexuality stereotype joke. 30 days a month indeed!!

DS girls on the perils of alcoholism

THE PROOF IS IN THE PERCENTAGE Click that, which is almost my favorite web comic, for a really good quote, wich is going to replace my site mantra or motto or whatever: LIQUOR IS THE OPTIMISTIC DEPRESSANT!

KNOB

I want this KNOB: CrunchGear » Blog Archive » Griffin’s USB Powered Knob Turns Up Whatever

everyone has lips

That’s like saying you don’t want to kiss your lover’s lips because everyone has lips. — Steve Jobs

some things that should be on the reception budget

… but obviously they will not make the final cut. Arcade in a Box Taco Truck Note: this is not our actual taco truck, it’s just a really good picture of someone else’s taco truck. Duh!

beard

Amazon.com: FAKE BEARD AND MOUSTACHE: Toys & Games I’m growing one!

Dancing at the Schmidt House

Please add songs to my playlist okay!? Mixmatcher playlist - Dancing at the Schmidt House

the cliff guy

I don’t know.

man foley

also a kind of catheter Wow. I was just going through these pages, and the Apropos Foley thing I wrote about yesterday sort of struck me in a different way. Being an adminstrator of things that end with ‘nix’ sometimes you want to see if there is any information in the ...

i’m really not this old

But that’s a HOOT! Dribbleglass.com–Monopoly Cards We’d Like to See

Apropos Foley: Seven Trampled (Onion)

The Onion proves that some humor is future-proof in this piece from 1997. In light of recent events in our nation’s capital, I recommend :Seven Trampled In Annual ‘Running Of The Congressmen’. Here’s what I’m thinking: “displays of congressional virility”; “bearing down on .. pages and countless other thrill seekers who braved ...

Unobservable dimension of existence

“[…String theory…],” Smolin says [… ] can’t be tested, for one thing. And whenever its proponents are confronted with a discovery that doestn’t fit their models, they blame the surprise on an unobservable dimension of existence.” — The WEEK September 29, 2006 In this one new book called The Trouble ...

Mixmatcher playlist - Our Party

Many of you (heh, I said ‘many’) will already know I’m planning to have a really big party in the future, where food and drinks and music will be shared with all our friends. I had an idea to try and think up like ALL the good songs we should ...

people == bacon

collision detection: Robot thinks people taste like “bacon” Hay, i totally already figured that. We’re history now man. Once robots start getting an alimentary canal, it’s all over.

im in ur #2

JPEG Image, 529x651 pixels I hadda make another one, for the boys.

P0RKNB33NZ

.flickr-photo { } .flickr-frame { float: left; text-align: center; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } P0RKNB33NZ, originally uploaded by Quacky. i really just couldn’t help making this

I read band books

I mean ‘banned books’, and you can too if you go here: Google Book Search: Celebrate Your Freedom to Read Because you should because it’s Banned Books Week next week!! I’m gonna order my BBW kit and re-read the shit out of Lolita.

This Girl

I ride the bus with This Girl who also recently started working in my office: This Girl

Charlie Brown Has Never Knowingly Taken Steroids.

D.A.: Wah-wah-wah-wah? BROWN: I did not knowingly take steroids, sir. Period. Snoopy gave me something to make me throw harder, but he said it was flaxseed oil and vitamin drops. I was tired of having the ball hit back up the middle and all my clothes torn off.

hipsterotica

Pet Parade Mayhem

In my town for the last, I dunno, like 77 years or something, they have a Pet Parade. This year, if you believe the illustrious “journalism” of the local “news paper” was a bit like the rest of the world we live in: filled with mayhem and police horror. See for ...

I remain at between 60-80%, regardless

BBC NEWS : Health ; Security bad news for sex drive It’s badly worded in the article but to paraphrase: Researchers from Germany have found that since less than 1/2 of 30 year old women in a secure relationship want sex, it is therefore permissable for their spouses to conduct extramarital ...

lesser abominations

Frank Moore Bearded Clam, 1997 A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Best and Worst of the Web - Religious Advice & Best Fan Letter

sneaky bombers

Differences Between The Sexes | The Mismeasure of Woman | Economist.com A study done in 1994 hints that if women think nobody is watching and judging them, and there are no physical consequences, they might be more aggressive than men. In this study, participants played a video game in which they defended ...

Mars Joins Mouse

I heard through the indie pop grapevine today that after a really grand time recording together, the former Motley Crue guitarist Mick Mars has decided to join the indie pop powerhouse Modest Mouse. Wow!! This is great. I’m so glad the younger kids are beginning to recognize the super talents ...

I’ll take some of both: Orgasm or Excellent Marinara

on men.style.com It’s a slideshow. I wish they had voting enabled like a quiz because I know I could totally ace this. For my money? Giada makes the MOST excellent “marinara.”

Netflix: The Facial Workout: Because the Muscles Don’t End at the Neck

Netflix: The Facial Workout: Because the Muscles Don’t End at the Neck Also could be subtitled: “Because sometimes jokes just write themselves.”

MYSPA CE RU3LX0R!!

MySpAcE ad serves up spyware to EVERY1!!!! (washingtonpost.com) Or as the first SplashPot poster puts it: “Darwinism works!”

my trip to Vegas: associates salmon with riches

Lore Sjöberg hits our recent Vegas-cation right smack on the nailhead in this: Wired News: Aliens Took My Money The high point of my geekish gambling was unquestionably the Monty Python and the Holy Grail slot machine. Most of the game involves pressing the Repeat Bet button over and over like ...

Ernest and Bertram

Rumors of Ernie and Bert’s homosexual relationship have always fascinated artists. Here is a poignant short film meditation on the subject. It looks like it was produced about 5 years ago. That would be the Internet Pleistocene. I thought the title sounded familiar, but maybe I never got to really watch ...

nun-love

Nuns in Love: A Novel of Desperate Acts: Books: Eric George Amazon thinks I have a thing for sexy Nun-sex eBooks. I don’t even know how to read an eBook. WTF is the nun doing on that cover? Where is her habit? How, since this is supposedly set in WWII, did she ...

followup t-shirt advert

BUY diesel sweeties: indie t-shirts (AKA tshirts) I [screw] ROBOTS

to lie with robots

Australia’s News.com.au, in a story titled Robot rules make sure robots don’t rule poses some provocative questions: How far should robots be allowed to influence people’s lives? How can accidents be avoided? Can deliberate harm be prevented? And what happens if robots turn out to be sexy? “People are going to be ...

OMGPUPPY!!!!!

MyGF’s mom got herself a new puppy as you can see from these flickr pics So for some reason the flickr “badge” (rhymes with “vag”) I’m trying to make for this totally doesn’t even show the pictures. I hope it will someday.

Mariners Baseball: Like Any Bad Relationship…

Well, it seems like we’ve kind of stopped actually WATCHING baseball games, for now. It really sucks being a fan of a losing team. I mean, at the beginning of the season, hope springs eternal, blah blah blah, but then by this point, CHRIST it’s not even halfway through the ...

I’m going to Netflix The Cheese Nun

Netflix: The Cheese Nun That is all.

Dear Charm

Liebeszauber I’ve said this before, Germans are Weird Fuckers.

WARNING

WARNING: Do Not Exfoliate Eyes!

merkley??? - Minimalism is for Quitters

I’m not gonna put a picture with this one, because in order to chose one, I’d have to pretty much put a picture of something, um, Dirty. I generally try to only allude to the dirty stuff. But this merkley??? fellow … WOW. Now it’s totally unfair to even use ...

Steak Feed

I want all seven of you to know, I’ve started a new venture, with my sister and some other guys I guess. We’re going to be writing a site about Steak. How to prepare it, where to dine on it, etc. Reviews, howto’s, and such. I think sis came up ...

It’s Just Ice Cream I Swear!!

A penguin takes his car to the shop to have it fixed. While he’s waiting, he goes into a cool ice cream shop and eats ice cream. Having flippers instead hands, he gets the ice cream all over himself. He’s goes back to the auto shop and asks the mechanic ...

Vintage Octopus Pulp Covers!

Vintage Octopus Pulp Covers! I didn’t know ‘Pulp’ and the French/Italian etc word for ‘octopus’ were so similar. Also, I didn’t know there was a weird artistic vein of racy octopus art outside of Japan.

please help me pick the best lightning bolt

.flickr-photo { } .flickr-frame { float: left; text-align: center; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } please help me pick the best lightning bolt, originally uploaded by Quacky. I want to make a shirt, and i’m trying to get the very best most ideal lightning bolt for an insignia ...

DaVinci Load : Warrenellis.com : Filed under: * researchmaterial

Warrenellis.com » I’m Amazed It Took Them THIS Long I wouldn’t even pretend to be able to do this justice the way Warren Ellis could do it justice, so I’ll just kind of ape what he says. Actually, I’m not even that good, I’m not even aping what he says, I’m ...

u

I’m just getting settled in to my newly installed Ubuntu at home and I have to say: it is supple! There are still things to overcome, like my machine is weak. But nonetheless, I LIKE IT!

LUKE CHUEH is an anagram for ALL CUTE SAD ART

LUKE CHUEH : PHARM-LIFE THE THINGS YOU LOVE WILL DESTROY YOU

very very sad: but wish to find out where i can get fentanyl lollipops

SI.com - More Sports - Retired Knievel, 67, living in serious pain - Friday May 19, 2006 3:39PM Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, an incurable condition, is scarring and hardening his lungs. He’s recovering from a stroke and has diabetes. He’s broken about 40 bones, is full of plates and titanium parts and ...

Atten: Quacky

Subject: Quacky's Estate. Date: Wed, 17 May 2006 09:03:14 -0700 Wisdom & Associate Chambers 12 Awolowo way,Surulere, Lagos-Nigeria. Private E-mail:dt_esq@onet.pl Attn: Mr Quacky, I am Barrister David Tanga (LLB), principal partner of Wisdom & Associate Chambers, Lagos, Nigeria. l am the personal attorney to Engineer Walter Quacky,who was a contractor with Agip Energy and Natural Resources Company Nigeria, who died ...

that sweet looking puff of magic

I KNEW IT!!! Shaving cream is destroying your skin, turning it into a whining, pathetic, dependent, beaten, insipid layer of pasty pulp. Your skin has become the fatted calf that has been killed, the lamb slain on the altar, the virgin sacrificed in some ancient cannibalistic ritual of an uncivilized people. The ...

porn, coffee, seed

Funny thing happened this morning, I was sitting at the computer, drinking strong coffee, waiting for New Wave Hookers to finish downloading, and I came across this : Pharyngula: The effect of porn on male fertility. I don’t think it’ll help though.

Lap-in-ator

I am the sense of humor of an eleven year old boy. There are some things that are always funny: pants, duty, lap… to name a few. The LapinatOR (Black, regular) [Amazon.com] “The Lapinator lap desk blocks 95% of laptop heat with its special insulation.” It says it’s a black, regular model … ...

google vaginas

.flickr-photo { } .flickr-frame { float: left; text-align: center; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } google vaginas, originally uploaded by Quacky. you’d think with the #1 google blog search result for VAGINAS i’d get more ad revenue [UPDATE, 35 minutes and one Firefox crash later] I guess maybe ...

pretend zombies are depressed? / bundle of twigs

Category: Random Things You Run Into That Seem Funny The Urban Dead Wiki:About - The Urban Dead Wiki Hopefully the same AdSense Ad for Zoloft shows for ya as for me. Geddit? Zombies, Roll-Playing Game, Zoloft? No? I can’t help you. Also, the people who do the book cover designs for the ...

hell will be party time

Also, look who’s still not old: Sonic Youth - Rather Ripped: May June SOONth, 2006.

Much later: Bittersweet Thanks, Colbert

Colbert’s Routine: What Did Jeff “Skunk” Baxter Think? - Wonkette: So Thank You, Stephen Colbert, for demonstrateing so plainly that, even in this time of low approval ratings and massive administration meltdowns, liberals are so desperate for anything resembling a victory that they’ll make Republicans look like winners even when they’re ...

Alcohol Powered Muscles

Well it’s not every day that you run into a headline that makes for a fantastic, though brief story, much less also makes a fantastic t-shirt slogan. This one here has both, without however being from Fark, who on second thought have pretty much made a business model out of ...

vaginas website

Vaginas vaginas . com is a really cool website you should not be afraid to visit because it … speaks VOLUMES about what you’ll find at a vaginas website on the internet.

PORNUCOPIA@npr.org

On The Media– PORNUCOPIA S’what I’m talkin’ bout! Yeahhh.

golfer drinks

Two times in the last week, or so, the drink called the Arnold Palmer has been mentioned. It got me thinking, why are there not more drinks named for golfers? Of course, the Arnold Palmer isn’t properly a Drink. It’s just a lemonaded iced tea, or iced-tea’d lemonade. So I’d want ...

like boxing a glacier

It’s pretty much required today to put up a thing about how great Stephen Colbert was. I agree. He said: … it’s like boxing a glacier. Um, enjoy that metaphor by the way because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is. You can see more here: Stephen Colbert kicks ...

Ooo Mayonnaise

I read the Woot : Wednesday Web Woundup and sometimes it’s really funny. They have a series going of face-offs between Google Video and You Tube. This one was ‘mayonnaise’.

beaver angel zombie steak

the politically incorrect alphabet Now I’m spending the rest of the day making up fun things to do with these.

monad whaaaaaaa????

For work one of the things I do is run a Mirsocfot Echxange email server. So *I have to read* about it now and then. I haven’t been recently butcause I’m working on other stuffs too. So but then when if I come across something about the new Exchange 12 ...

I can’t even leave a message on the page telling people it’s not mine; I’d have to join MySpace to tell MySpace users I’m not on MySpace.

Read this on Wired News: Momus: : Committing MySpacecide … sounds radically self-destructive, but the opposite situation would be much worse. Imagine dying for real, dying physically, but lingering on as a digital ghost, a presence on a MySpace page collecting obituaries and tributes.

pointy nosed pickpocket

Update: Tom Cruise is the master of language - The Superficial - www.thesuperficial.com tells us that the Cruise’s chosen name for their new offsprint would not be the best choice based on usual notions of central eastern linguistics. Suri indeed!

Suri

Suri Cruise: 2024’s most interesting person… a funny by the wits of TVGasm.

gimme fiction, or five bucks

On the way to work i’ve been rocking some tunes on one of those mid-sized gadgets with white ear bud listening dealies that you can fill up with songs from the computer. My newest album that I compare to old things I have called favorites, is a record by Spoon ...

Quacky :: Main Page

Quacky :: Main Page I’m just sayin. NB: it’s a habit, when I hear about a new free online something, except dating things, I have to sign up for them. I have to get all the Quacky. Nobody else can get it. I’m pissed I missed on myspace.com/quacky that totally sucks. ...

Thursday: National High Five Day

Thursday is National High Five Day which I didn’t know. At least if the guy who made 1986 World Series Game Six Re-enacted in RBI Baseball , whose name is Conor Lastowka.

Todo

Wack! The dates on things should be biger and kind of “nest outside” of items. Can you see why? Because of the way the Word Press groups things together under each particular day. I guess I could dig into some documentation about the WordPress “loop” or whatever, and maybe figure ...

whitesnake on a plane

Snakes. All kinds. They’re getting to be quite funny. Like this Guns n Roses cover: S.O.A.P. And this: Snakes Flying a Plane Shirt which came first, DUH! And defined by Wikipedia.

Finkbuilt » Blog Archive » Mutant Human Species Imminent

Finkbuilt » Blog Archive » Mutant Human Species Imminent In Brief: funny.

Butter Lamb

rachelleb.com: Lamb Shaped Butter My sister showed me this which i’ve never heard of before. I don’t know why I never heard of it before. It seems like it would be something I’d have remembered if I’d had one or been present when one was served. But it’s weird. I have been ...

parilla negra gigante

Um. I’ve been frustrated with my little CharBroil Patio Caddie, so I’m in the market for a new grill. Please buy.

Why is it called /etc?

why ask why; why not ask why is it pronounced ‘etsy’? When Dennis Ritchie was asked what he would do diffrerently regarding the birth of Unix, he said “I would put a ‘e’ in /tmp”

404 panties down

http://www.brettandhiromi.com/ was a really good blog called “panties panties panties” and now it’s shut. I used to like to read it, for the articles of course. They still are on my flickr contacts too. I don’t know if the blog shutting down means … I don’t know what it means ...

Poop-Freeze (aerosol freeze spray, for poop)

Poop-Freeze! Poop-Freeze! Poop-Freeze! Poop-Freeze! Poop-Freeze! This is almost like the product Jack Black invents in that awful Barry Levinson movie Envy what was it called? Vapoorizer?

actually literally is virtually a contronym

“Literally” is its own antonym! How can this be? | Ask MetaFilter I hate this. We talk about improper usage a lot, especially how it is kind of exemplified by this usage pattern with ‘literally’. Here’s some other good links I dug out of a third of the comments on the Ask.Mefi: the ...

language of beards

cruzer1.gif (GIF Image, 400x392 pixels) Finally demystified for you, by Amazon.com of all places.

Giada’s Eyes

TVgasm - Food Network: She’s Watching…

[sad] Guy realizes in dentist’s chair he’s not really All That anymore

This is kind of sad. I went to the Oral Surgeon’s on Friday for a consultation prior to having my wisdom teeth extracted — something I should’ve done when I was 19, right? Wait, wait. That’s not the sad part. I got to have my whole head bombarded with X-rays, because they ...

the pink sock

Introducing The Pink Sock®, the new Flagship Product in our bold new line of active/athletic gear. Exclusively from Pro-Laps™ And in other bodily news: [Japanese] researchers discover a new source of stem cells: human menstrual blood. NB: if I have to explain why that first thing’s funny you’ll understand what a sick fuck I ...

talk about a joke!

I used to rely on Wikipedia for long lists of the same kind of joke, like lightbulb jokes. They just get funnier when you read them in series. Unfortunately, Wikipedia seems to be falling prey to itself, gobbling up treasures like the lightbulb joke page in fits of in-fighting about it’s ...

biteme portman

cook sock!

you find stuff like this on tinypic.com/new

planet sex

that is all

anonymous wisdom

Not sure where this came from, think it was an anonymously posted email forward: "if you find yourself wondering: 'why did she choose me out of all possible other guys to date?' there''s probably a very good reason: it's HER, run like hell." "there's usually a VERY definite reason highly attractive women are single, and ...

monsters

If one must clean one’s room every time there are monsters under the bed, pretty soon — voila! — no monsters. — Elizabeth Bear, Hammered …one of the good books I’m reading

all your friends | palm of hand

Wired 14.03: Sky Dayton Gets Mobile He stares at the device, glowing with electronic life. “All of your friends, in the palm of your hand.” Neat article about how come mobile phone service in the US totally sucks and maybe one day it won’t suck as much because of a neat buisiness ...

eating_pussy

____eating_pussy____.jpg (JPEG Image, 550x503 pixels) I wish I knew what a “гЛe НарkoТa” was…

food and magnets i’m all set for naptime

twat: Definition and Much More From Answers.com

twat: Definition and Much More From Answers.com Much more indeed. Including a soundbite, and this contextually relevant (dubious) text ad. Vagina Search profiles and pics for free. Meet someone today. www.ThirtyPlusSingles.com

No Twat Shicall Music 05 Pod Cast

I’ve tried making a podcast. It was long and hard, but there might be an enclosure in this item I’m writing, and if so you might be able to “get” it with your podcaster machine. I don’t know. It’s good music, music that was so hard to get un-stuck of ...

Something Awful for Valentines

The creeps at Something Awful have come up with a decent crop of Star Wars Valentine photoshops. Above is posted my vaforite.

small omega

ω actually, it’s inside some tags…

Cookie Vocals of Death

Boing Boing: The Wall Street Journal on Death Metal and the Cookie Monster Voice That’s neat and everything. It’s a cool article. With cool quotes like this one: “It’s not easy to determine where and how Cookie Monster singing actually began. Early death-metal bands such as Death and Morbid Angel ...

firefox crap

somehow firefox decided to apply itself an important update and now nothing pages from on the internet will load. i hope this is just a problem with firefox not my whole machine.

winona cider

WINONA RYDER Winona Ryder is British rhyming slang for cider. Research Winona Ryder I bet you didn’t know that. I sure didn’t. What I also didn’t know was that there is apparently a much tattier predecessor to the august and formidable WikiPedia. And it’s just chock full of nutty goodness and it’s not ...

even pirates need some html code

I stole this from e2 I hate to admit. ← — ← — ← — leftwards arrow, U2190 ISOnum ↑ — ↑ — ↑ — upwards arrow, U2191 ISOnum → — → — → — rightwards arrow, U2192 ISOnum ↓ — ↓ — ↓ — downwards arrow, U2193 ISOnum ↔ — ↔ — ↔ — ...

Why is a man like a snowstorm?

None knows, when he comes, how much centimeter it brings and like for a long time lasts it. From: If the fathers the children would educate the Google Translated version of http://ams.astro.univie.ac.at/~nendwich/Humor/DadsKids/

poutine?

FRIES WITH GRAVY ISN’T THE SAME AS FREEDOM. –dieselsweeties.com

big fan of diamonds

diamonds.jpg (JPEG Image, 450x317 pixels) They just Get The Job Done.

china talk

Calling up someone at a public service desk in a non-English speaking country is HARD! and Funny. quacky: i called the kids at some hotel in the middle of china sister: what do the kids have to say? quacky: they’re good quacky: but, here’s the funny part quacky: NotStepdad left me a message about getting ...

pie eatin

W-Flawless

.flickr-photo { } .flickr-frame { float: left; text-align: center; margin-right: 15px; margin-bottom: 15px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; } W-Flawless, originally uploaded by Quacky. I couldn’t help smelling a certain resemblance when I was watching the Denver Audtions of American Idol last week. Not that my photoshoppery is anything close to Flawless. ...

For Cy

cyclopskitten.gif … from the brilliant mind who brings you dieselsweeties.com [and my page slogan up at the top too, even]

Old is the new Neil Young

busy, not on holiday

I’ve been doing lots of side work, or on-the-sly work, for this new 2nd job I’ve recently taken. That’s why I seem to be away. It promises to be a marvellous addition to my portfolio, and to my wallet. Nevertheless, I’m a little bit too busy to write about it.

wine argument gets heated

My friends from the internet and I just recently had a little misunderstanding about pairing wine and food. The results could be considered by some moderately not unfunny. Lloyd: ‘what kind of wine would you suggest for hamburger helper?’ Lloyd: this ‘house’ wine isn’t bad. Matt: no new years, but it’s anti-new ...

links for 2005-12-18

Red Legs on Flickr - Photo Sharing! (tags: boobies fake augmentation) Donde esta el diablo cuando quieres vender tu alma? on Flickr - Photo Sharing! (tags: boobies fake augmentation) Talking Dirty 102 (tags: sex tips dirty howto) Help me choose a barebones SFF computer. | Ask MetaFilter (tags: askmefi hardware home cool advice)

links for 2005-12-17

Hw can I transfer Mp3\’s from my Ipod to an external hard drive? | Ask MetaFilter (tags: howto askmefi mp3 ipod storage) Top 100 Wines 2005 / It\’s a Pinot heavy and pricey list, partially driven by the demand produced by “Sideways” (tags: wine advice buythese shopping) It\’s too big for email, what do ...

links for 2005-12-16

mwcollect - Trac mwcollect is an easy solution to collect worms and other autonomous spreading malware (tags: IDS linux security monitoring malware) Logfile - Perl extension for generating reports from logfiles (tags: perl stats wireless work monitoring) Index of / (tags: opendir celebrities pics)

links for 2005-12-15

Windows Grep Search Utility Home Page “Windows Grep search utility for Microsoft Windows, 98, 2000 and XP” (tags: free search software windows tools) Chyx Publications (tags: comics funny religion satan remixes geek)

un-pretty

The atomatic posting of my delicious links for yesterday worked okay. But it really highlights how UGLY the CSS is in here now. I really really dislike those red links. I’m just not really having time to fix it at the moment. NB Hell will visit everyday in the form ...

links for 2005-12-14

SF Genre Benders | Ask MetaFilter (tags: books askmefi SF) Moving iPod Playlists without the music. | Ask MetaFilter (tags: ipod tools mp3 music howto) Best budget electric razor to buy? | Ask MetaFilter (tags: askmefi shaving advice shopping) Downloads (tags: videogames windows space free) heavy cartoon Viking rock is the new hottness (tags: animation rock videos funny pirates ...

arrogantry

After reading this, first I snorted, then I made the below sarcastic comeback, then I read the guy’s quite interesting and (we shall see tomorrow) handy method of getting my del.icio.us links to show up automatically on here, and then I did some other things and now I’m writing about ...

antiseptic

I’ve selected to remake the pages here to look more like a prescription for Clavamox® and less like some kind of Mexican opium restaurant. So it’s all white and plain for a while, until I get around to hanging up all the dingleberries and gewgaws again. Everything still works, I ...

how creepy

The itemHow creepy is polyamory? from AskMetafilter is pretty wild and wooly. And I was particularly struck by one commenter’s remarks, as follows: My non-online mainstream friends definitely would find it “interesting” [. . . . ] b. they had particularly strict definitions about adultery, as most offline people tend to do. So this ...

WirelessToiletControlPanel

Image:WirelessToiletControlPanel.jpg - Wikimedia Commons I just like it. It’s fun and funny and perfectly Japanese and wireless. Which I have a love-hate relationship with. So wirelessly spraying the anus == comedy gold for me today. Checkitout!

ads: now i know the racket

Wow. did you see my ads from google? I put up a thing that talked about quitting smoking. It doesn’t even have any links in it or anything, right? Well, just two days or three days later ALL my google ads are for quit smoking. That’s the first time I’ve ...

fake fake and fake

Dear potential recipient of fake breasts, engagement ring, and my love: If you think I ought to be accepting of fake these: Then would it be natural for me to assume you’d be satisfied by fake these: … and would you sympathize with me wanting an “aesthetically enhanced” this: ??

you’ll have to excuse me I’m doing a lot of not smoking right now

So, my hot heterosexual life-partner and I have decided to stop smoking. As much as possible. For the forseeable future. It’s pretty hard to do. But, not that I’m thinking up some new school of thought on the matter or anything, but something is stuck in my head right now, ...

nothing

No Need to Click Here - I’m just claiming my feed at Feedster feedster:d263710f86241d88993fe0dd82187682

combining the blank

the other day walking home from the bus and thinking about a project, i decided that the format for a slogan could always be like this: “combining the ______ of _______ with the _______ of ________” Here’s what google says combining the flavors of India with the lyricism of French culinary tradition ...

boss pens

bosspens Originally uploaded by Quacky. if you find an interesting picture, set it free originally found on the some MSN news page. or something. I had to recaption it. My friend Josh_bomb came up with the plan, and I fotochopt it. YAH!

google base (d)roolz!

I haven’t been so crazy excited about the beta launch of the mysterious google base. Because it’s one of those HUH? kind of webplications. What in the world could it be FOR? Of course, you try out some new way of putting things on the internetc, you think, well is ...

I’ll shock YOUR green beans

TVgasm - Food Network: Too Many Cooks…. Sort of makes me snort a few times. Good stuff from a Food network junky reviewer. He loves the Giada, and his perspectives on the mental fitness of Rachael Ray are spot on.

the new what’s on your iPod

Matt Cutts, whose name I *love*, works at the Google I guess. Has a fairly new blog. Writes a nice funny piece about what you do when you start a blog, depending on what kind of blog you have. His point, or rather the point made by a friend of ...

pot vs. kettle

This guy over on Slate, who gets PAID to write such things I believe, does an article considering electric tea kettles. He picks a really awful looking unit called the Bodum Ibis, as the superior method for boiling water. I have one lament: he pitted a single electric kettle against ...

what a sad life

The other day, riding the bus, I overheard many parts of a conversation between a larger woman, and a space of air about 28 inches directly in front of her gaze. She had with her, in a fairly ordinary looking black stick-of-butter-shaped gym bag, “the breathing machine.” She also had ...

stem or stern

I’m reading this book about a guy on a boat. He’s stuck out in the middle of the Pacific on a boat with a Tiger. I think the manuscript must have been faxed to the printer. Here’s why, except for about 10% of the time, when the text refers to ...

engine gear

sometimes you just post fawning links to things, where, like you don’t have a real reason, except you’re awed by the source, you end up somewhere neat, some little detail strikes you, or you go “hmm.” This happens all the time. It’s happened before via Warren Ellis, too. Warren Ellis’ Engine Gear ...

dozen iPods

My blog is worth $2,258.16.How much is your blog worth? Business Opportunities Weblog | How Much Is My Blog Worth That’s a lot. I have no idea what the methodology is behind this. If I’d asked myself the question, I’d have probably answered “two fish tacos.”

beef and gravy muffins

It ocurred to me as I was wandering past the desk of someone in the “Front Office” today, that there are no “savory muffins.” All muffins, with the possible exception of a jalapeno/pepper/cheese corn muffin here and there, are sweet, fruity, breakfast fare. Maybe it is something about the culinary structure ...

behold ye angels

I’ve been heavily into Coupling of late. Coupling is fifty times better than Friends. “What would you like for tonight dear?” “How about some Coupling?” Yeh it’s all been said before. But still it cracks me up. “Do you know what arses are Patrick? Arses are the human race’s favourite thing. ...

hot lady hot dog

demure_dawg Originally uploaded by josh bomb. My friend Josh is travelling somewhere in the heartland. Chicago from the sound of it. I always did like the hot bitches I met in Chigago, and this confirms it.

Zoundry

I’m trying out posting from a new blogging client tool that could let me have one interface to any possible blogs I might write to. Of course, by doing this, I have sadly used the b-word twice in one sentence. It’s Zoundry. We’ll see. No picture. Just kind of a test. ...

Homer is(s)t süchtig nach dem Ribwich

Life Imitates Simpsons Dept. Case # 34-i7 McDonald’s Save McRib With Bonless Pigs … a farewell tour. They’re having a farewell tour for a sandwich. I’m buying a dozen for the freezer, I swear. Like a rib, it tastes like liberty. Like a rib, with a bun of sesame.

Sock

Another book I’m reading that I’ll just quote at length as a recommendation because it speaks on so many levels about things that I seem to care about. Penn Jillette, the magician, is also, I think, one of my favorite observers of life. CHAPTER TEN Ding Dong The big, modern wrestling match is ...

looking after chelsea buns

Yahoo! Image Search Results for chelsea buns Sometimes, it’s hard to be disappointed when the image search engines display something so cute as this. I don’t even know why, some food blog or other I was looking at the other day had a bit about chelsea buns. And, of course, i had ...

the snopeses call it

Camel Toads letter is REAL! er, I mean Status: Multiple — see below..

MEAT is NEAT

I just found a book on a huge shelf full of used ones that makes me smile. It’s called Meat, A Natural Symbol. Here’s why it made me smile: The bold back cover copy reads: “WHY DO WE EAT COWS BUT NOT CATS? WHY IS SEX ASSOCIATED WITH EATING MEAT? The first ...

toe+email+oops+teen

del.icio.us/quacky/toe+email+oops+teen “Please let me know what camel toads are and how i might be able to tell if he is smoking, taking or licking them.” “Is this something the local authorities need to be alerted to ...

broken associate

Hm. I’ve just noticed that something is up with the formatting of amazon associates URLs. I think, anyway. Usually I use a bookmarklet that munges the ISBN/ASIN out of the url and plops me down at the correct associates link for me to get credit etc if someone clicks. But it ...

The Time Traveler’s Wife

I don’t really do book reviews or book capsules or blurbs or anything. I tend only to rave about a very few books, and then put big quoted sections out from some others when they affect me certain ways. I just finished Audrey Niffenegger’s The Time Traveller’s Wife, and while ...

stockings

red-stockings-montage Originally uploaded by Quacky. this was auto blogged from flickr. well not actually auto-blogged, but I clicked on their “blog this” button and just typed into the box. that is all. NB: Dear Flickr, what is up with all the backslash-escaped quotes ...

giada frittata risotta

I want to talk to you about two very fantastic things today that are very much food related. I’d like to say that this is one of those really basic but awesome things you can do with food that will make your whole life better. But I can’t say that ...

S.T.E.A.K. - HOW YOU LIKE IT?

It’s from Peelander-Z! S.T.E.A.K. Best Punk Rock Japan Song about food!! How would you like, cook you-a steak??!!

tight vinyl jackets

I dunno why, if it’s this google search result: “tight vinyl jackets” - Google Search Or the fact that I’ve been posting things a lot in the last few days, but my traffic took a pleasant re-spike up to about 20 hits a day. w00t. Maybe I’ll buy a tight vinyl jacket myself, ...

me and hamburger cartoons

Two things that don’t really go together but should:

too much funnys

Man. Several things open in tabs all at the same time and there’s no way I can really do them justice by writing something special for each. So there’s just a list: Indietits - Indie Tits, Safe For Work. Ads Ripped from 70’s Comics - from Jay Pinkerton who does marvellous marvellous ...

Go Sox! Narowrrr!

hulk hands meat thermometer

People shop for the funniest things. A few of the items recently found with Froogle: slimfast meat thermometer blazer surge protector wall safe denim vest futon lye soap martial arts shoes clif bar men’s cashmere sweater hair bows cross trainer megaphone club chair chai tea flannel sheets g.i. joe beef jerky hulk hands ganesh dustbuster book bag aviator sunglasses caviar

dork on coffee geeks!

I’m sort of in the market for an electrical coffee brewer, and I want one that has a) an unbreakable thermal carafe instead of a hot-plate; 2) a programmable timer so the coffee can be ready for my early-rising sweetie without my intervention; and 3) a really cute little elephant ...

iPod Nano Nano

“It’s just amazing,” reflects Steve Jobs, founder and CEO of Apple Computers. “All you have to do is make the products more colorful and less practical every couple of months and the Indie rockers come running with money in hand . . . or in most cases, credit cards they ...

syrup4buns

BEGIN IM TRANSCRIPT: quacky: here is an example of how my job sucks: q: right now I’m pruning a word list to generate random passwords from… because it was noted that there was a distinct possibility that a password like “vixen9mutt” could be generated and offend someone (presumably an ugly insecure woman) q: ...

askme sluttier

Have I written how much I get out of askmefi? A Lot. There. How to seem…sluttier than I am. is a really good one I’m reading today, not because I am an inexperienced girlfriend who wants to seem more experienced… but for bits like this: People pet cats because giving another being pleasure is ...

Grotica. Grotica?? Grrrrrr-otica?

Search Engine Journal » Grotica - Google Erotica Engine or Webmaster World Joke? I’m kind of thinking, if Google really were to market segment itself in the dirty direction, they’d get someone to come up with a better name than ‘Grotica’ because that’s pretty much anti-sexy. So it’s a hoax. Now what ...

what does your birthdate mean

***Your Birthdate: February 3*** Being born on the 3rd day of the month is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life. The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental. There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to ...

Failure

The Stranger’s Slog blog thingy reports on this rather interesting google: failure. You get the official White House Biography of President George W. Bush. There are or were a couple other single word google-ditorials like this one, but I can’t be bothered to remember exactly what they were. All I know is, ...

Bootus Al Hootus

you can’t make shit like this up. you can’t make up shit like this. shit like this you can’t make up. Random Cat Name Generator ♥ Bootus Al Hootus ♥ Gray and white cat with owl like eyes. He is a ham and is sometimes called Booty for short. His original name was Harvey, then ...

cf. car bomb at the mercado

McSweeney’s people write in little blurbs of food reviews. Hundreds of them. I can’t believe how long it is, how long I’ll probably keep reading it, how much work I will avoid by reading it, it goes on forever and ever, and I can’t stop. It’s the best combination of food ...

it’s just a pacifier, honest!

One of my favorite things to read every day, or at least as often as I can get to it, is AskMetafilter. Here’s a good one that kind of explains in and of itself how you can spend a whole lot of time reading a web page: Pro-sex feminist - how ...

urbandictionary feeds

Urban Dictionary: Tools Some post ago I thought I should wonder about how there aren’t any syndication methods for The Urbandictionary. I don’t think they ended up doing what I had in mind. Because I thought there should be a way to just pull snips of data for various definitions. They’ve ...

sushi properly

How to Eat Sushi Properly. Things I didn’t know: sushi started as fast food When you touch the soy sauce with sushi, it has to be quick, almost like a fish jumping up from between the waves If you eat very rich fatty-tuna in the beginning, your tongue might become too numb to enjoy ...

look inside

Ooops. It’s a visual pun. Get it?

Wow. Water. Worrysome.

Bad to the Last Drop - New York Times Bottled water costs far more than gasoline, per gallon. For less than 1/4 the money we Mur-kens and other richies spend on our fancy bottled water, we could fix all the world’s poopy water. — viva la boing

Donny Cheung - Google Driving

I found a guy’s weblog who wrote about doing a Google Maps Roadtrip, even before I did my US Hwy 12 roadtrip. He didn’t use the arrow/cursor keys though, so it sounds like he probably had sorer finger than I did. Donny Cheung » Google Driving

it’s the bacon show!

It’s …. THE BACON SHOW!!!! Starring: BACON!!! And our very special guest: BACON!!!!!!!!!

vastly under-represented GIS of the day: furkini

It’s a furkini, or ‘furkinni’ … and you’ll wish there were many more of them to be found on the internets. I try to battle Yahoo Images vs. Google Image search. I find not enough result! GIS furkini vs. YIS furkini NOT. ENOUGH. NB: Inspiration for this post brought to you by Diesel ...

o’connor out

Boy, sometimes you don’t even need to photoshop something.

foodie no-nos

Rachael Ray - Why food snobs should quit picking on her. Quote: “Ray’s marquee program, 30-Minute Meals, relies on countless foodie no-nos.” Yeah. I haven’t finished reading this yet because I had to stop as soon as I read that there quote above here. First of all, Rachael Ray kind of bugs ...

kVnt - Usage notes

Sort of odd that the wiktionary is so, um, prescriptive here: cunt - Wiktionary: In definitions 2 & 3 above, if used by an adult, would generally only be used at, or (more likely) used to indirectly refer to, another adult; almost never would it be used directly by an adult to ...

dozens of comment-spam compliments

Man, lately I’ve totally been getting slammed by comment-spam. This usually just only mildly sucks, because they’re caught, and I get notified by email of that, and all’s I gotta do is delete the notification email, and bulk delete the comments. If they come in ones and twos I will ...

i made some science

The really weirdest part that didn’t make much sense to me was the last page where you click buttons to indicate where you met people, online or offline. Like farmers, and hairdressers … I met all the farmers online. WTF? That’s odd.

atomic spam kebabs

I went looking for something entertaining to bring to a friends’ BBQ on the third of July. Since I’m at work, it naturally just felt right to include spam in the thinking. And we’d already talked about us bringing some kebabs. Now of course we’ll bring some serious kebabs ...

wake -n- bacon

/mathlete/ Pretty Darn Cool! It’s an alarm clock, with a bacon-powered output peripheral! Yay bacon!

pumpkin and bacon and cream

I don’t know who Jim Carson is, I’ll admit that right off the stick. Also, I hope I don’t piss off Jim Carson, but I must say, this is a very naughty-sounding recipe. That’s so cool! Naughty-sounding and Yummy! I bet. Pumpkin bacon cream pasta (Jim Carson -> February 07, 2005, ...

Shrug Festival

Shrug Festival Shrug Festival Shrug Festival Shrug Festival My friend Shrug, who used to make a really really great mp3blog, is now making podcasts. Whatever podcasts are, to me the ones Shrug makes are big huge pieces of LOVE, I mean really great radio, I mean big huge pieces of WOW, I mean give ...

mythical bacon. and brains!

The book I’m reading — Food : a culinary history from Antiquity to the present / under the direction of Jean-Louis Flandrin and Massimo Montanari ; English edition by Albert Sonnenfeld ; translated by Clarissa Botsford … [et al.]. — has a puzzling passage: Milk-fed veal may still be available, and ...

anti-lolita crash

It’s been a little over a week since I put pictures in place of the nasty kiddie porn keywords on that old story. Look at the damage that’s doing in terms of hits! Whoa weird! Now, I have no idea at all why there was such a big jump there just around ...

underwear

I put new underwear on my page. It doesn’t look too girly or anything, does it? N.B. I got this little tile from a slick designer called squidfingers. Squid fingers! Can you pick it out? I altered the colors with photoshop!

Optional: big wiggly eyes

There’s all this yammering about why it’s a really big effing deal that the space-hippies at Apple computer have decided it would be okay if you know, maybe they could start putting their shiny-button single-mouse operating “system” on “Windows hardware.” I dunno. “Big whoop” is what I have to say. ...

Crimefighter, Moxie

Celebrity Baby Blog: Penn Jillette and wife welcome a baby girl Yeah. Um. I was going to try some sort of joke about this. I dunno. No need I guess. I love Penn Teller’s books though. Really.

no more bad keywords

You see this picture? It’s been plaguing me ever since I did a writing about bad keywords a while ago. I look at the keywords from the search referrers that bring you here to look at my things. Most of you are coming because you found my page full of ...

anguished referrers

To successful start in March of the Pussy Deluxe club go in deep the club in Heidelberg into the second round on Thursday, 07 April. In co-operation with the mode label Pussy Deluxe expects you again one sexy Fashion party with hot Pussy Deluxe Girls and unites Specials: ...

Google Search: anus-pundit

Google Search: anus-pundit I know it’s gross. But, it’s a great name. And vastly under-um-enwebulated. Or I started by searching for ‘ass-pundit‘ that’s pretty good too. For when I establish my .xxx web empire.

Fortunately for right-handers …

FARK.com: (1512038) Fortunately for right-handers, the new web address for porn sites will end in “xxx” Oh fark… They still know how to write ‘em.

a gentle craving for this harmless leaf

I’m just about finished reading Cloud Atlas. Wow. Really good book. The hype on the jacket is valid. Etc. A book that can change your way of seeing things. And a terriffic story too. So anyway, one of about sixteen thousand quotes I would like to have written up… “You must ...

I ♥ google maps roadtrip tourism

I found out today they have a festival nearby called Egg Day! I have a soft spot in my heart for small-town festivals, having grown up with one of them in my own hometown. I miss it. So, ever since I moved to the west coast states I’ve always wanted to follow ...

greasmonkey AutoLink

Jesse Ruderman » AutoLink user script This is so great. A long long time the thing I’ve wanted to fix about web pages on the internet (especially search results from mailing lists!!) has been that there are many times things that should be linked, but that aren’t linked. This user script, which ...

Unfortunate Star Wars Costumes

Still haven’t seen it yet and this is why: Nerds and pot are a dangerous combination.

Narowrrr?! - Or, A List Of Lists And/Or Humorous Writings Found On Mcsweeneys.Net On The First Day Of The Last Ever Star Wars Movie

Narowrrr?! - OR, A LIST OF LISTS AND/OR HUMOROUS WRITINGS FOUND ON MCSWEENEYS.NET ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE LAST EVER STAR WARS MOVIE - - - - All of Chewbacca’s Dialogue in the Comic Book Version of The Empire Strikes Back. Embarrassing Things That Might Happen To You While Using A Lightsaber. Names of Cheeses Inspired by Star ...

what’s all the fuss about?

A Critic Takes On the Logic of Female Orgasm - New York Times pretty darn interesting article from the New York Times. About orgasm for ladies. Personally I think orgasm for ladies is a really good idea, and I know of no good reason why you’d need to make an argument ...

Wired News: Put Smut in Its Place

Wired News: Put Smut in Its Place ENDORSED!!!! Help!! — in going through the links in the WIRED article, I came across a Wikipedia entry, which I followed up to the parent Wikipedia entry, Pornography. Just scanning it, because i never have time to read really big Wikipedia entries I find reference ...

anti quacky

This is not me. include ("$BASE_path/includes/stolen_username_rant.inc.php"); However, it occurs to me: what if I join forces with this person? To create the most comprehensive all-encompassing quacky identity force ever? Somehow I think it could explode the whole galaxy or something. include ("$BASE_path/includes/totally_making_shit_up.inc.php"); Anyway, hopefully someone who is reading this particular quacky thing would never ...

French-Canadian sausage: No Such Thing!?

Short note: During a recent (slightly off-color) conversation I was somehow prompted to perform the following search: french canadian sausage Not that I’d ever really stopped to consider it, but can it really be true that French-Canadia simply has no native sausages? this space intentionally filled with nothing sausage-related or canada-related or french-related ...

anywhere on school property

Man: “Excuse me! Just so ya know, you can’t smoke anywhere on school property.” Me: “Okay. Sorry ’bout that.” That happened to me on the way to work this morning. I walk from the bus stop, cutting through the campus of a high school vocational skills center. The cut I make is just ...

springtime swallows

two things are going on: there are swallows zooming all OVER the shittin place where we live now and the kitties are pretty much glued to the window sills all the time watching the little birds go like fighter jets or something up under the eaves. that’s funny, and cute. ...

god hides the dinosaur bones

Great Moments in History, 4000 B.C.: God Hides the Dinosaur Bones. … an Excellen-TAY humorous piss-take of the whole evolution/creation debate from the curious minds of Fafblog. I don’t always even begin to get what they’re talking about over at fafblog, but this is pretty much just the end of the ...

reindeer dry sausage sandwich

There isn’t enough good that can be said about the sausage sandwich. I won’t even try to say anything more. But … People eat reindeer. And they make sausages out of reindeer. It seems kind of sad. It is sad. like eating bunnies is sad. Because of Rudolph, and just, ...

Ever Edgy Maggie G

MSN - News - Maggie Gyllenhaal Hacks Politics (heh. I rewrote the headline.) I’ve always liked those Gyllenhaal kids. Well not always. But ever since watching Donnie Darko. And Jena Malone too. I really think it’s edgy and integritous for a huge movie star like Maggie Gyllenhaal to say something true and ...

hot non-Holiday action

Recommendationed reading: Query Letters I Love — it’s some guy from the movie industry who shares really awful screenplay ideas because they’re funny. What really works about the queryletters site, is not only how funnay the queryletters are, but also how they’re framed by the authors of the queryletters site. Like ...

Vicodin to Paula

American Idol: Vicodin to Paula Abdul: “Stop Eating My Family” I’ve always thought Paula was high on something. Well, especially this year. TVGasm gets a big hifive from me because they hate the way I hate.

God’s Rottweiler

They’ve picked a new pope! Today they picked a new pope! It’s interesting, I almost already know more about this new pope than I ever really did about the old pope. One newspaper report from before Cardinal Ratzenberger — I mean Ratzinger — became pope refers to him as “God’s Rottweiler.” Which is ...

exciting blowjob youth movement

James Wolcott: On Some Sad Laps, No Heads Bob Now normally I don’t try to hard too much to be all political about things. I try to not really mention world affairs and such. I’m just not that interested in putting out any kind of opinion on the matter. However, I ...

diesel shoes

that’s a colorful phrase. unless you think of the brand name. then it’s not. I got it from an interesting little box section of Friendster. I never ever go in Friendster anymore, except for today, when I went in Friendster to see what’s up with this whole celebrity blogging thing where ...

Springfield found

gmap-springfieldUSA Originally uploaded by Quacky. I checked every single one! They claimed it was just an imaginary place. But I found it! Hey, I started using flickr for hosting my pictures. I guess I kind of finally figured out what flickr is useful ...

Google Maps - SAFECO Field baby!

Google Maps - 1250 1st Ave S,Seattle, WA 98134 I was going to futz around with the map, and put the little red bulb-syringe thingy where I’d like to be sitting for much of the rest of the spring and summer. But I’m bored, and tired of doing things. I’m just ...

Mount Saint Helense.cx

Everybody is going nuts over the new satellite photo service offered by google maps. I like it too. I was just motoring, or I guess “satellite-ing” around the region the day they added the imagery, and I came across this eye-boggling natural expression of geography. It’s really amazing the forms ...

god dammit Otto: Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg Found Dead. Originally, this seemed like a badly timed, and inappropriate April Fool’s day joke. I guess it could still turn out that way. But in the last 2 hours more and more “legitimate” outlets have picked up the news. How do you really know when something you ...

pussy flakes and puppy YUM

I am only here today to share two photos from the world wide internet that I found. They are both funny and a little dirty. But totally safe for work. How did I find them? One of them I found by accident, using a cool thingy called the Flikr related ...

right between her pretty

I downloaded all of these mostly naughty Thundercats Outtakes from Claws and Paws dot Com which is a guy’s website. I’m putting them in my big folder of music, so every once in a while, someone will probably hear me snort out loud right after some boring indie band ...

top bacon fried fried bacon fried

Google Search: bacon fried Oh it looks so weird when you type it several times. Fried bacon fried fried bacon bacon fried bacon fried. I’m just a little bit proud that I got a #1 google search result. That’s all. Now get outta here and make me a goddamn sandwich.

fun-dip, Sneeze!

I’ve been a faithful reader of The Sneeze for holy-crap-I-don’t-even-want-to-try-and-figure-out-how-long now. Lots of favorites I could try and dredge up for linking, etc etc etc. I love the guy, Steve. I want to be like him when I grow up. Wait. . . All fawning aside, the entry from yesterday made ...

cherry bleeds

Cherry Bleeds Literary Magazine That’s the prize today. Been at this for a little less than 30 minutes today. Found something very cool already. Crazy internet! How it sometimes works: Open statcounter Notice new interesting hits coming from google Do the google query to see it Notice other interesting things in that context Follow up in new ...

Sabrina totally wanted to

quackyv. to sell sex.“I’m telling you, Sabrina totally wanted to quacky!” The Infinite Teen Slang Dictionary Try your own nickname or favorite nonsense word and let me know what YOUR teen slang definition is. via del.icio.us/tag/teen Sorry: really, it’s not me. It’s just the way things come out: Food, and sex.

sausage mania in porkopolis

I got a case of SausageMania on the way to Porkopolis. … shit shit shit still about food. but it’s so GOOD. It just happens this way. I don’t ask for it. The really kind of neat thing about Sausage Mania! is that they are a resource you can use to ...

Hacks of Passion

Hacks of Passion this actually has happened to two people I know.

yummy. Ariel nuggets!

This Is Broken - Fish-nuggets packaging This is Broken is a fairly nifty series of items nominated for things in the real world, i.e. outside of your computer, that have very bad, or sorry user interface design. I like the irony and subtle nastiness of that one. I’ve also always wondered ...

Paw’s Chicken Fried Beaver

Now I surely can’t vouch for this recipe. I think I’m gonna have to do some more research, for example, about just how one might get a beaver into a state one would refer to as “cut to serving portions.” Paw’s Chicken Fried Beaver I’m just having a fun time reading it. It’s ...

kloster-fuck

I’m reading the book Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman. He doesn’t seem to have a web page on the internets. But he knows about them! Here’s what I feel when I am reading his book: “Wow! Yes! [punch air while reading] I should really type whole chapters of this book ...

for matt

I have been working on this “test” to become a Moderator of quotes over on bash.org because it would be a really fun and helpful and productive thing to do with all my free time. Um. Right. Anyway, the thing is, to be a moderator, you have to go through like ...

malware is making me hungry

Where I work, the malware is making me hungry, and a little bit ill. New Bagle Variant Combines Spam, Trojan Or, Latest Bagle Worm Attacks With Spam, Trojan. A SPAM™ bagel. That could be good. Here’s a recipe. Spam Breakfast Bagels Kind of lame. Toast the bagel, scramble the eggs, fry the spam, ...

bacon-fried chicken-fried bacon

From time to time it’s fun to write about food. I really like food. I like to make the food, and eat the food. There are plenty of oddball, or outrageous, or heart-stopping “recipes” you can find people writing about on the WWW-internet. Many of them make me go :-O ...

Sheared Beaver Bomber

A conversation about hats, some with flaps. Me with the still with the sense of humor of an eleven-year-old. I wanted to, on impulse, find out how much the kind of hat I want to get when I can afford it — a black cashmere watch cap, or you ...

working out

Staring at women’s breasts is good for men’s health. I subscribe to Men’s Health. Good magazine, but I wonder if they’d sanction this kind of excercise? They might sanction certain kinds of stem cell research though… I really like this New Zeland guy’s Internet Web Page. He’s got it all: Canned Frontpage ...

weekly bacon roundup

This is kind of a round-up of bacon-related things from the past several days. I don’t really know why, but this week has been full of bacon. It kind of started with BaconWhores. I’ve been anticipating this, but it is kind of surprising how bacon-saturated the week has been. We ...

the new youth craze: cutting

Cutting-edge conservative savant Michelle Malkin, identifies for us: The new youth craze: Self-mutilation. There’s probably a lot I could say about this, but, I’d actually prefer to say only a few things. And then highlight some really ridiculous points! First of all, there’s this line of rhetoric: Hey panicky parent, have ...

imdb retarded

I don’t hate the Red Sox for winning the 2004 World Series. In fact, I was pretty psyched about it at the time. But, sometimes the internet makes funny, and it seems to be rather pointed commentary. Well, that is, if you believe the order of results from a query of ...

the sense of humor of an eleven year old boy

I want to heap much praise on Warren Ellis. He is a writer, of quite incredible distinction. I promise I will read some of his fictions and if they please me as much as his series of posts called Old Comics Zen do, why I would even consider purchasing one, ...

oh my home

Channel 5 News, where I grew up runs a story: Dirty hotel secrets If you want to eliminate any concern, bring rubbing alcohol and use a swab to wipe off the remote. It kills any bacteria it touches and it might give you some more peace of mind. Yeah. I can totally ...

quacky BURNING

I want to personally thank the nice lady who made this animated sentiment and named it after me. I’m sure confounded at how she could have guessed so much about my personal travails to have worked them all into this graphical testimony. Thanks! Really though, her name seems to be Marsha, ...

funny monkey

Well. I thought it was funny. It makes a weird sort of sense too. That’s all. ripped from Reuters. nifty rollover zoom effect ripped from Scott Kimler. thanks dude.

FLEACIRCUS or FlohZirkus

FLEACIRCUS · The show must go on! It took me a minute to figure out. I’m gonna let everyone take that minute for themselves, too. I think, if I told what to do, it might spoil some of the delightfulness. It remindeds me of Stick Figure Theater of Death … or SFDT.com ...

WWWWRU?

What World Wide Webpage RU? take quizzy. heh. heheheh. Homestarrunner indeed. via linkfilter

ADV: cover her in your worm love proof

That’s what it said, I swear. It was a SPAM that I trapped, keeping the Ladies at Work safe from this kind of confusing garbage. It’s a familiar kind of SPAM too, the fastest growing market sector in SPAM; bigger even than Jackrabbit Vibrators. It’s Ejaculatory Volume Enhancement. But I ...

NIMBY :-(

The service is called BaconWhores - The Way Bacon Was Meant to be Served and they bring you bacon, properly cooked and served on your premises. You don’t supply the bacon, or the cooking device. You just pay them and the specially-trained BaconWhores experts make you bacon. But they’re not serving ...

I ♥ opposites

“On Christmas we go to bed, looking forward to exchanging gifts with the people we love. On Valentines day we exchange gifts, hoping to go to bed with the people we love.” –zefrank has SOUL.

Wedding of the decade

Happy Freaking Valentine’s Day! Who says true romance is dead? Not me. Mary Kay and Vili to Wed. Also, see the CNN story which is much more likely to work in a few days. Now here’s an idea, (the Macy’s Wedding Registry + $4.99 / VILLEROY & BOCH TWIST ALEA LIMONE SAUCER) * ...

Ho!

It might be old news or it might not. I can’t really tell. But on the Motion Pictures page at a website called Nameless Entertainment you can scroll down to a trailer, produced in 2001 for a live-action Thundercats movie. I have no idea the status of this project… probably ...

QOTD

“The 1990s brought the advent of a dynamic new medium for news, the Internet, a magnificent new technology combining the credibility of anonymous hearsay with the excitement of typing.” — America, The Book

Pony Party +++

Man. Just now, I noticided my google ads were pretty good, finally. For a while they were all Emo when I first got them, then they went all generical and bloggish. Now though! They’re full of Easter Bunnies!! Great! I wanted to follow up on that, so I did a goo bunny ...

linkdump, not forshadowing the end

I’ve actually been busy enough figuring crap out in the workplace that I ran into a dilemma: I want to write an actual coherent piece of writing about each one of these items but there just isn’t time enough. Usually, when I just start putting together a list of random ...

ballpark baby

I’m sure the hell this is a copyrighted image or something. but. I am SCREAMING-inside-ready for BASEBALL!

bunny party

We were talking, with the advent of LENT, about easter things. Kind of making fun. My friend Godzilla offers that he might give up molesting the easter bunny for Lent We always make fun of furries, so I go: “we should do furry raids where ever the easter bunny appears” And my friend ...

suck, suck hard

Smart. I thought I would tear down my templates, and rework their inner logic so they make sense to me, and be kind of ordered logically and whatnot. BAD IDEA. I pretty much ruined everything, and came out with something that resembled a Mexican flag printed all over with modem noise. Here ...

themeness

i picked a new theme, cause i want to start using a 3-column layou, so I can start putting google adsense code, and stuff, and just because figure six weeks without a template change is too long. so anyways. this will look a bit rought for a day or so. sorry. ...

say you have ten dogs

I don’t know why somebody becomes one way and someone else becomes another way. Say you have ten dogs, or five dogs, and you beat the dogs and you kick them. A couple of dogs are gonna get really vicious and they’re gonna be like, vicious killer dogs, and then ...

double amazontendre

Today I’m shopping on amazon.com, trying to spend a gift code my syster got me for my birthday yesterday. I managed to spend it, on some weights, and a movie or two which I’m giving to my sweetie for her birthday on the 21st. Two things showed up along the way ...

403-ggle search

google is sorry for accusing me of being a virus-riddled hag. I’m NOT! I run a clean establishment here. Everybody uses the best protection, and members are checked at the door for skeeze. Sorry. That’s fake outrage. You can get accused too, by following these steps that I nicked from the Handlers ...

get me one!

it’s a parody! but no really. you could always help me out.

tip the hipster

yeah I know I could probably legitimately be accused of once being one and that’s just why I revel in poking at them collectively. so, okay, every time I see something cleverly skewering recent hipster culture, and oh dear lord are there almost enough of those lately, I chuckle a ...

freezer wampa!

my friend Mort/Tim showed me this and it is pretty much the BESTEST thing that happened today. No really. It’s not his, even though I would like to think that he is a cool enough motherfucker to actually do something like this in his very own freezer. Oh also, somehow ...

there’s no bleeding in my snort

where I work, there are lots of people surfing the web for less-than-honorable subject matter. I’m not supposed to spy on them, but, as a systems and security kind of guy, I do feel that I should be aware of any questionably-legal goings on. You know. so I watch my network ...

chastity

are some underwear, i guess kind of targeted toward the girlfriends of gamers, or more better, targeted toward gamers who want to get their girlfriends something for a present. Not so big a market there, I’m thinking. Anyhow, I had some underwear earlier on here, so I guess it’s ...

FREE Bunny suicides

it seems that the previous incarnation of Bunny Suicides, which was previously mentioned here a while ago, was removed from the internet computer web system of homepages. However, someone else has elected to take up the mantle of blatant copyright infringement and went ahead and put up another Bunny suicides ...

dirty dirty random password generator

At work? I use this cool lunix thingy called gpw? To make passwords for people? So they at least start out with a reasonably difficult-to-guess password and I can’t be blamed if they change it to their dog’s name? But it’s kind of, like, funny? And sometimes dirty? Here I ...

i had to start a hotmail account

Soiroidking Horihorito soiroidking@hotmail.com because I am tired of getting spam at my other accoutns, and I think I can avoid spam by going another accoutn with hotmail who are a good company and I like the founders mission statement and stuff. I hope this one doesn’t take very long to ...

engaged in mischief

“… it seems to be an established fact that the inventive faculties, even of men of inferior mental quality, are sharepened when they are engaged in mischief.” — Fantômas It’s a good motto.

forgot PIE

Darn. First I missed Steak and BJ Day then Talk Like A Pirate Day and now National Pie Day. Sad.

friday detective

Something about IMDB bugs me but it’s so trivial I hate to blab about it to anyone in person. But, the interesting thing is, it’s one of those times where I realize, hey, I’ve searched this before, but just not in this way. The story of how all this came ...

durn innovation!

I’m trying something. I’ve wanted to have one of those boastful, What I’m reading, and/or listening to thingies on here. you know, cause one of the big reasons to spend so much wanking time wanking around typing wanker wank wank codes into little boxes, is to, you know, trick them ...

THE BLOG

kinda speaks what I feel. The BLOG INANE! RAMBLING! RARELY UPDATED! Also: Thong Blog > ryanbeam.com Online Store | CafePress

what happened!

it’s cool how a simple comic-book like format can bring light to events of the day. watch the whole thing. then, put down The Star. that’s all there is to know.

comments are tardeded

hey. the lovely wndl posted her very own ‘what kind of teen’ poll results. THANK YOU wndl! :-D however, stuff in that comment, which, according to the tradition of posting your poll results on a site, are all full up of html nasty garbage and table tags and what-not, made wndl’s ...

teen am i

I answered this quiz, as best I could, from my perspective as a teen, when I was a teen. I like how impossible that sounds. Anyway, I am, still, I guess, a loner. You scored as Loner. Loner 69% Punk/Rebel 63% Geek 63% Drama nerd 63% Goth 50% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 38% Stoner 25% Ghetto gangsta 13% What’s Your High School Stereotype?created with QuizFarm.com

“Never doubt the appeal of Lindsay Lohan’s breasts to a bunch of people who sit in front of their computers all day. “

that’s it. defamer.com as always, still rules.

our preferred shipping method is …

here’s how you pick your shipper. Google Search: ups girl vs. Google Search: fedex girl One of my friends pointed this out to me, I think the fair haired UPS girl is probably just part of a working design for a new web-site they’re making for his job at EspressoPartsNW. Sadly, I don’t ...

some LG goth chick

weird. I need kittens so bad that I actually pet the TV screen when I saw some on a nature show. I’ve been thinking of Quacky off and on, and he makes me smile inside and out. Miss the birdy. This makes me think: “I love the idea of making someone smile ...

gun bag

Guarda made this bag, for Dutch women to feel safer by looking what if they are packin some heat. Following on a photoshop this into something far more lame and tasteless jag here i have come up with something that might be consittered “better”

hipsters == retards

hey. i’m thinking about retards today too. * Mortini retreads in the town where I grew up, they had these homes for retards. oh yuo mean your parents? they were all men, older than their 20’s did you visit your dad often? and they dressed in hand-me-down clothes and were, ...

I’m trying to understand what I just heard in the bathroom at work

i’m trying to understand what I just heard in the bathroom… — ct has changed the topic to: <@quacky> i’m trying to understand what I just heard in the bathroom… somebody comes rushing in, and slams the door of the other stall. and? AND?? there is a sound of a ...

RateMyBandLogo

Not sure if there is such a thing.com. Will search and find out for sure before posting. Ja. Eat More Beaver. That kind of strikes a chord. Also, the main thing to point out is, work has begun on bringing Xanax Retard to t-shirt, not across the nation, but over in one ...

hi mr. doppelganger

There aren’t that many pictures of me on the internets, i suppose. My friend MattOly found a picture of somebody else that looks a great deal like I do, only, perhaps, cooler. I don’t have the wrap-around shades, I don’t have the five-oclock shadow, and I don’t have two honeys ...

silly and dumber

It seems like it might be time to post a joke. Jokes can be fun to post. Most of the time, there are some pretty funny jokes on The Goose, which is a mildly interesting ‘boobs and humor’ kind of blog. That’s where this one comes from, though it’s ...

kids make you crazy

someday, i’m going to have a(-nother) kid or two. I hope I can do it with as much finesse and humor as Steven, who writes The Sneeze. You have to read the whole post for context but what I think is So Best about the little story of the scooter with a ...

my friend has started an mp3blog

One of my favorite people, and absolutely favoritest writer about rock music and pop culture has started himself up an mp3blog. These are neat, usually some clever writing, telling about the music, why it is good, and then linking up a few selected mp3 tracks for download. It is something ...

rare xmas music

every shingle blorg in the world is posting this highly recommended and radical “album” of mp3 musical files. called very rare holiday album. but, now that I’m listening to it, i have two opsbervationses about it. a) no way in hell is that Porky Pig. 2) I don’t think all those blorggers who ...

photoshop RAWK

There’s this site called GoodTutorials and as part of work, I look at it perhaps once a day. No, actually, I don’t really look at it, I look at the Bloglines Feed of it. It’s really kind of surprising how many websites I read all the time, that I really ...

santa = sysadmin

sometimes a story just sort of starts to clump together. My friend Godzilla mentioned a funny comic that had something to do with Santa Claus and computers. Here: see for yourself: So, what would be the chances of finding a really good picture of some heavy, bearded, stereotypical computer guy, dressed ...

hard time snorting

Rats and Arg! I’m having some trouble writing a snort rule that will even catch traffic. The most basic rule I write, it doesn’t even catch anything. alert tcp $HOME_NET any -> any $HTTP_PORTS (content: "quacky"; nocase; msg: "someone is being Quacky"; classtype: not-suspicious;) So, from what I understand, that should ...

tired

maybe it’s because of all the clicking and editing and reloading of this thing, but GOD the color scheme and layout are extrêmement fatigué. might have to change that. expect things to keep looking different every couple hours. the CSS layouts, the table-less ones, are pretty great and all, but. man. ...

weridnesses

the posts from the old bloxsom pages are here now. updated them or, uploaded them, using some instructions and ingenuity. should probably post a how-to or something in the blogsome forums. used a post there, and a post from somewhere else to get it work. yay! still need to migrate the ...

saturn

For a while the desktop wallpaper on the machine this is being posted from has been set to a kind of abstract picture gleaned from a recent space-probe flyby of majestic Saturn. It’s kind of set like looking “out” from inside some of the rings, and there is one of ...

google for xmas

well okay not for xmas. playing with google today, trying to find this one link to a crazy hoaxy baby jesus flash dealy. it’s something from boingboing yesterday or something. it’s good and weird and funny. but the best part is the results page from google when you do a search ...

angel

Tussaud’s wax museum thingy in UK have put up a really intensely awful celebrity wax figure nativity scene. It’s completely rotten. George W Bush as a wiseman? Um. OPPOSITE! There’s one thing though that’s pretty easy to get behind: A Kylie angel!

good prose

The book The System of the World by Neal Stephenson is full of good prose. Like this: They were a matched set of great busty hippy frazzle-haired wenches with apple-red cheeks, getting riper and shinier by the moment, and they seemed to find this great fun.

uni Tard

it couldn’t be helped. spandexman is the best. the best ever.

powered by junk

somehow this is going to become the ‘mascot’ or logo, or ack, i hate to say ‘avatar’ for the page. cool. it conjures memories and thoughts about being 8 or nine. or younger. there’s more to say about that. not right now. but, it has to do with fortieth birthdays of ...

stylesheets

every time you start something, there are new clothes to fit into, or break in. that’s what’s going on here with the crappy stylesheet &c. you know. it was going to be like ‘use a canned theme but tweak it so it’s kind of warm and fleshy-colored’ … a kind ...

yeah um

the word ‘blog’ it’s something i’m sick of. so. i’m not even going to call this a blog. it’s my thing, where I put stuff, and write about stuff. that’s all.

If you make her laugh

MANOUSCHKA: If you make me laugh, I love you. Doesn’t matter if you do smack and you’ve been to jail five times, as long as I feel like your day was fulfilled because you made me laugh. Especially if a guy has that potty humor — it shows he’s so ...

Working out

Yeah, Hi. For a number of deeply personal reasons, I’ve started working out a bit. I’m going to get in shape, and look fit, and buff, and hot. That’s the idea anyway. I’ll probably end up joining a gym, I guess. But it’s going to cost money. In the meantime, I’ve been ...

Wisdom

I’m reading this Spider Robinson book called The Callahan Chronicals, and it’s quite good, but I’ll save the book review. The thing about it is, it’s full of wisdom, some of which is good for me to remember. Like this quote, from The Blacksmith’s Tale Finn, you’ve been unable to love because ...

I thought up a new Google sport

But I’m not sure if it is a cool Google sport, like Googlewhack or making fun of bad spelling… Anyways, here’s the rules, er, rule, I guess: Find phrases, that you might actually hear, read or say in real life, that have exactly zero Google results. Four words or less, smaller words ...

RRDTOOL is hard

I thought, for fun, while I have only to monitor a new server for a few days, I’d try to learn more about RRDTool so I tried to create a bit of data source and pull a graph from it, by hand. I don’t think I’m doing it right… Bleh. The Meatmen are a ...

KITTIES!!!

With our new digital camera which totally rocks, we’ve managed to snap a few really cute pictures of our kitties. Here are two

Polysics

The Japanese equivalent of DEVO, right down to the yellow jumpsuits. Hailing from Tokyo, Japan, the POLYSICS are one of the great hopes for the future of music. A less poppy Devo, mixed in with the aggressive sounds of the Bordeoms, trickle in the energy of the Dead Kennedy’s, and ...

Yeah I Know The Power Of Google And It Rules

A few days ago there was a story on TheRegister called The Perils of Googling. It’s about some super-tricky sort of hidden features of google that can help you find all kinds of stuff your mom probably wouldn’t want you to find. If that sounds like fun to you, read that article ...

It finally happens

Yay! Qwest is to begin offering, or is already offering “NAKED” dsl, that is, dsl service without a phone line. I think I’m gonna do it. Also, I found on MetaFilter a pretty nifty Color Scheme appl. which I then used to gin up the very subtle and refined new stylesheet you are most ...

Still no luck trying to get DSL without purchasing phone service…

It’s always seemed unreasonable to me to pay the phone company for complete telephone service in order to get a DSL line. I decided to try Qwest’s customer service chat, to see if I could get some answers. DAMMIT! This is a transcript, of me, playing dumb, asking good questions. Thank you for using ...

Oh hell! Delightful Dem Kerry Sex Scandal Apparently Brewing

Go see for yourself … it’s plastered all over DrudgeReport. Which, you know, makes it [insert scare quotes here] Absolutely True. I mean, what gives here? How come it’s all ways the damn Dems with the sex scandals? Where are the Republican sex scandals?? Oh wait, they don’t have sex, is that it? ...

Something to believe in

Women don’t realize that a lack of sex reduces a man’s ability to be patient and considerate with a woman. Men don’t realize that a lack of consideration and patience reduces a woman’s sexual interest in a man.

I loves me some Urbandictionary.com

I was plunking around today and found something called Supermodel Meat Sports. It’s quirky and funny and it has cute skantily clad ladies dancing with various meat. What could be better!!?? Anyhow, click click click later… I see a reference on some funny pictures web-board to a term ‘badunkadunk’. I’d never heard that term ...

Comments are enabled now.

I enabled them earlier today. This way, I could find out if anybody but me reads this stuff. Not that I care so much, because it’s fun figuring out how to make blosxom work, and how to make comments work, and how to get the thing on the comments page to look right, ...

Hi Jeremy!

My longtime friend Captain_Tenille just made himself a new personal web page. Called Captain_Tenille.org. So I thought I’d make him a rad logo to use. I used a nifty transformers-ish font I found a long time ago, some really old Photoshop tricks for a drop-shadow, and wha-LA!

Baby Simone RuelZ!

Yeah. One of my best friends, who goes by the very nice name Captain_Tenille, has a new baby girl. Mom_Tenille, Dad_Tenille, and Baby_Tenille are all doing very well, she apparently has everything a new baby should have. And she has one thing lots of babies don’t have… TEH ROKC! See??

I LOVE archaic stuff about space!

I forgot how big of a grin I get on my face when I see pictures of pointy vibrator-shaped space rockets! I was trying to find some infos about a composition by my newest best favorite jazz composer — Raymond Scott. He’s the guy who composed that one theme for Warner Brothers cartoons ...

DONT FORGET!

About those music files. They will only be available for a short time!!! Then I’ll take them away. Heh!

I like to share my musical taste with you

But you must remember that these are samples. They are on LOAN to you. Like at the library, you must give them back. I don’t own them, AAMOF. I borrowed them too, from my brother-in-laws. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Date with the night y.y.ys Black Tongue y.y.ys Mystery Girl y.y.ys - Pin y.y.ys - Machine y.y.ys - No ...

What a color I am.

I took a color quiz. From some site I never heard of called SpaceFem. Urk! I was sort of like “What??!!” But then I looked at some of the things I design, the page templates I’ve made, and I then started to think “odd!” Anyhow, I am ‘paleturquose’ or #AFEEEE. you are paleturquoise#AFEEEE Your dominant hues ...

FIGHTING JAPANESE SEIZURE ROBOTS!

AT WAR! We were shown an exciting link today www.seizurerobots.com So then my friend Matt Fukken H*ckey made up his own seizurerobots too. They are in a way better, in a way not quite as seizure inducing. But they remind me alot of serverzilla. Which reminds me, maybe serverzilla should take on the Seizure Robots. ...

Fake Detective

I found this article on WIRED today about this old guy who runs a site/service called Fake Detective . com. He’s an odd old “collector” type guy, you know, the kind of guy who can’t throw ANYTHING away? The kind of old lady who has 500 cats? But this guy, his deal is collecting, ...

Web Fire Escape.

I found a little button that will change my paranoid surfing habits perhaps. … If every NSFW blog in the world implements it that is. Might be that this guy is trying to drive his hosting/bandwidth costs through the roof. But that wouldn’t be smart. Here’s the thingy.

Quote Poo!

Yeah my quotes are turining into dots. Crap. I hate that. I’ve read it and now I’m doing it. I thought I was never going to do that. But pasting text between lots of different operating systems. Gahhr! What trouble! What am I Jon Katz? Get me a plugin or something!

jeez someones been through this before

its old news but i guessing by now there’s a precendet been set about th euse of the word-part ‘zilla’ in whatever your thing is. but the people at TOHO[??] really mean business… It has come to our attention that you have incorporated the .ZILLA. portion of our client.s ZILLA marks in the name ...

TEST

This is just a test directory so I’d have more than one. Nothing to see here.

I like art!

Art is good.

The Lost Unwound Interview

!!!!!!!!! 1992. Wow. Tobi and Kathi from Bikini Kill and other famous things interview Vern, Justin and Brandt from Unwound. Super neat. www.bumpidee.com/unwndinterview.html I get all misty reading it. Things like: Brandt: my favorite Melvins show was—and this is really hard cuz every Melvin.s show is really different and great in it.s own way.I guess ...

I hafe this b00r.

It is really nice though you d thingk it be meaner beased on teh name. Regardless it sa a b00r.

Man I get some weird spam

This came to one of my dead-end mailboxes today. I may have got it twice. It’s pretty scary, and I kinda hope not real or anything. I’m a bit scared government spies are now on their way to pick me up, after reading it. I clicked on the website too, so. We’ll just ...

OWWWW!

This issue of Serverzilla is brought to you by the letter OW. As in, my right hand really really hurts, right below my thumb. And it’s not from what you’re thinking it’s from either cause I use my left for that. :-P

I … uh oh.

I don’t know how long this is going to last. I’m stretching the limit already. My hand hurts from clicking and positioning “shapes” … But, with inspiration from friends, and ideas probably only they will get the drift of, here is Serverzilla #3 : Serverzilla vs. G4 Cluster.

Even mroe fun!!

I wiht VISIO. I decided it would be a really good idea to spend three hours not working and instead realizing my serverzilla inspiration into an electronic comic panel illustration. In VISIO. I hope to found a new movement akin to … bah. I don’t know really. Anyhow here is my first ...

Raaar!

I just got the newest VISIO. It’s funn. It has a neat picture that makes me think of a monster…

Penises!! Jelqing?? Controversy…

Some guy is writing a blog/diary about his penis enlargement odyssey. He is just taking some of those pills, and documenting his progress. It’s an interesting start of something… I guess lacking any actual research about penis enlargement, maybe one guy’s experiences will provide some kind of objectivity like this: “I ...

Netflix

I finally signed up for it. Now, wouldn’t it be nifty to have my Netflix queue on my bloxsom blog? It looks pretty easy to do, but then, my other “blog” — DMR does some stuff that I’m not sure I can pull into blosxom. What does that mean? Rebuild my whole blog! I ...

Kitty!!!!

We had a little friend decide to come live with us a week ago Saturday. It was the first day I fired up my new BBQ grill. He tried to steal a Hebrew National Dinner Frank. We call him Simon.

These guys!

I was inspired one day to make a fake band promo picture. Can’t even remember where the original came from. But the point was, I found a drug called “Xanax Retard” on an unrelated search. It came to me! What a teriffic band name! Yow!

I’ve been doing some research and reading about anxiety medicines.

And it’s pretty funny what kind of things you can find. I really love Google Images because today I found my favorite (sorta) product logo EVER. It’s inspired me. I might make t-shirts, or start a band…

I just asked winAmp to play my outlook 2000 installation disk

…really weird things happened I have this winAmp plugin called gracenote, that queries a cddb database for track info it thought outlook 2k might be: The Police/Greatest Hits Enrique Iglesias/Escape Synesthesia/Synesthesia DJ Set The Cars/The Cars Iron Maiden/The Number of the Beast The Pogues/Live (Unlicensed) Nature Sounds/Southern Swamp …among other things

I just trapped a very crazy spam

Spammers. They’re just getting more and more wily with every passing day. Sometimes I can’t believe the trouble they go through. This message almost looks like an attempt to overflow a buffer or something in spam-filters. Well. ha. ha. ha. spammer. It didn’t work. Subject: kdav vpqfeqvxolamo sx wp orngxpcc i ...

Oh dear. Sometimes when a bunch of computer boys get together, the resulting conversation is pretty funny.

dear teddy: you know what’s the worst? when it’s early sunday morning at the golf course and all of a sudden you get last night’s leftover beer shits on the middle of a very busy, very long course. i neverknow what to do. got any suggestions? ask dr. poo ...

Weird, not-so-harmful-on-the-surface, but pretty fucked-up nevertheless…

Sometimes a pile of really, uh, good links just fall into my lap. I SWEAR I’m not looking for them. I SWEAR!! This week seems to be one of those times. There are some real chart-toppers here, and I’d have to say they’re all pretty much safe for work. ...

Wishlist

I think somehow I can get my amazon wishlist stuck in my blosxom blog, but I’m having trouble figuring out how.

More fun with War fun: Random notes from the fringe

Today, all around the place, you can see that people are starting to have a little bit of fun with all this war crap. So, I thought a brief round-up of some good, silly, funny, crazy items regarding the state of global affairs would be nice. Bush X-Ray Dubya: trained standin, or animatronic look-alike? Bush/Saddam/Bush stupid ...

I am right now nineteen layers of sidetracked

me: gak. I keep getting sidetracked. sister: from what? me: well. let’s see. I’m about nineteen layers sidetracked from what I’m really Spozed to be working on. sister: hee me: I keep uncovering little problems that kinda sorta have an effect on the bigger problem. sister: welcome to my life sister: which reminds me, I’m reformatting ...

Whoops!

I posted the car news thingy in the girls directory. What a silly. Now that I have this blosxom thing working — I think about putting up other stuff. Stuff I write. The only problem is, it’s not on a neutral server. It’s on a work server. I don’t think I should be ...

I got a new car!

Wha? It’s pretty neat too. A little bit banged up, but hey, whatever, right? It’s only cost me $900 so far. I got it on Saturday from a 17 year old kid. His parents seem a bit odd, and they still haven’t contacted me regarding some title paperwork I have to do. Now ...

Yuk. Long lines.

I just did something that turns out Yuk. I wrote those last two items without putting in newlines. So then when I look at the page on the TTY flavored layout, it makes those items into really long single line posts. That’s dumb. Now I have to either put in hard newlines, or ...

As it turns out…

It is going to be more difficult to change the TTY template than it is to just format the darn things properly with actual newlines in the source text. Oh well. New lines aren’t bad. It’s just a habit I’ll get into. Over time. Now, I’ll edit those two, and I betcha they’ll look ...

Marvellous new flavors

Whee. This is fun! I can just do nifty little things, like showing different versions of this thingy… In different flavors… like delicious TTY brand. I’m gonna have fun now! It will be probably a few weeks before I get tired of this content system. Just like everything else. Gah. switch back to the fancy stylesheets version. ...

Wow!

Well that was pretty cool. It comes in other formats too. I guess I can have different themed versions and everything. I would also like to put in a pretty picture.

Wow!

I really like this thing. It’s the neatest blog tool ever. I can just type some stuff in my favorite editor, and whammo! It’s published. I might just abandon Blogger, which hosts quacky.blogspot.com for me.