quacky: —–+—+—–

Will Bailey writes for McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, 15 Uses For Vodka.
Here are two I love:

Make your own vodka sauce. Pour vodka directly onto food. Vodka sauce.

Clean your gun with a vodka-soaked rag. Now your gun will smell like vodka when you show it to people.

PoeBox.jpg (JPEG Image, 449x450 pixels)

I was actually trying to find something else, about the singer/pop personality named Poe. But I kept running in to cute old Edgar Allen!

My favorite culture blogger Paul Pearson, writes in Wake Up, Scandinavia!:

Every year my family and I look forward to the arrival of the new IKEA catalog. I keep the children home from the salt mines, sizzle up a mess of Swede Meatballs (”Swede” is short for “Swedish”), fill the room with the sweet smoky smell of lingonberries and dill, and crank up the Cardigans and Robyn full-blast.

To which all I would add is this:

First off, No you can’t have this shirt. It’s all gone. Ha!

I’m wearing this shirt today. Sometimes I wear it to make a point. Sometimes I just wear it. I bought it from Shirt.Woot almost a year ago? And never actually read their wonderful post describing it. It’s cool to read it now, cause I just responded to the shirt visually, and textually, without “knowing” what the shirt “means.” Now that I do, I can answer my wife the next time she asks (she asks every time i wear it).

What this world needs is more honest tattoos. . . . instead of that meaningless fantasy tat . . . try UNEMPLOYABLE in big Olde English lettering across your throat. Or maybe cover your chest with the mugshot from your most recent DUI, rendered in the style of Boris Vallejo if that makes you feel better. Or adorn your bicep with a wilted rose encircled by banners reading I’D RATHER BE WEARING SWEATPANTS.

See what I mean?

By a Tattoo Artist named Jamie Toon.

Great NYT articleBrain Is a Co-Conspirator in a Vicious Stress Loop - NYTimes.com says: “chronically stressed rats los[e] their elastic rat cunning and instead f[a]ll back on familiar routines and rote responses, like compulsively pressing a bar for food pellets they ha[ve] no intention of eating”

… and of course i know exactly what the fuckers are talking about, fuck. Cue soundtrack, Pissed Jeans, King of Jeans.

Note: preceding video not found on “King of Jeans.” I totally knew that.

Porcini Powder – Opium for the cooks « Hong Kong Phoodey
the umami taste was so potent it actually hit me on a mental level. It felt like I was tweaked on drugs. So I think I’m going to have to use it a bit more sparingly, otherwise eating may become just too intense.

Retro Recipes: Titty Sauce Yams, 1961 is part of a series of blogs, that I just don’t have the time to read right now. From a wonderfully literate and elegantly witty food writer. I love Stephanie Butler’s prose, and her take on this old wack-job cookbook from the good old days of chauvinism and terrible food:

Bull Cook and Authentic Historical Recipes and Practices … by the illustrious Mr. George Leonard Herter of Waseca, Minnesota. It’s impossible to improve upon or even accurately convey the passionate prose of Mr. Herter, so I’ll let him take it away. From the third paragraph:

“I will start with meats, fish, eggs, soups and sauces, sandwiches, vegetables, the art of French frying, desserts, how to dress game, how to properly sharpen a knife, how to make wines and beer, how to make French soap, what to do in case of hydrogen or cobalt bomb attack. Keeping as much in alphabetical order as possible.”

Watch yourself! Jamie is coming!
Jamie Oliver and American Idol host Ryan Seacrest join forces to fight obesity in the USA | Mail Online.

In other news, the Olivers are a couple of nutters:

The new project comes just a month after Oliver and wife Jools, 34, celebrated the arrival of their third daughter Petal Blossom Rainbow.

“Quack Attack” - T-shirt by Brian Walline

Know your Party

and

A Pretty Girl in a Cape is like a Melody

Like whoa. How is it that I never have posted Zaius Nation before, you know?

[Update: She Creatures a band of blue haired babes!!!]

Amazon.com: The Muppet Christmas Carol - Kermit’s 50th Anniversary Edition

Since a complete widescreen version obviously does exist in the Disney archives (the Laserdisc version in the mid 90s was both widescreen AND complete), one can only wonder how and why Disney made this very insensitive and unprofessional decision!

To quote the inimitable Megan Fox “Fuck Disney!”

There is now a new spiritual dimension to this election, and it is decidedly evil.

God’s Politics: A Blog by Jim Wallis & Friends

Okay so despite my distaste and being an asshole about the right-wing kind of christianity, they’re not all bad. Sojo.net is a case in point of what I think the historical Jesus would have blogged.

Yes I said “what Jesus would have blogged.”
Suck it.

Sexy Robot Steak Lover
Alternative | Epic / Theatrical | Rap / Hip-Hop | Rock

I like to make keywords playlists with Media Monkey. It’s very easy to search my whole library, highlight good or odd picks, and pump them into a playlist. These are very fun, thematically coherent, and best played on SHUFFLE. A lovely way to listen to tracks that suit the mood of the day, and hear things you’d normally overlook. Of course you don’t put everything that matches, and you… [ ]
I like to make keywords playlists with Media Monkey. It’s very easy to search my whole library, highlight good or odd picks, and pump them into a playlist. These are very fun, thematically coherent, and best played on SHUFFLE. A lovely way to listen to tracks that suit the mood of the day, and hear things you’d normally overlook.

Of course you don’t put everything that matches, and you put in some stuff that doesn’t necessarily match too, just like cooking a recipe!

Today’s playlist uses the keywords ’sex/sexy’, ‘robot’, ’steak/meat’ and ‘love’. [-]

Src= Musickum.com

I just have a hard time believing that nobody on this web page : Organic Batter Blaster | The Impulsive Buy : has even made a joke about the other kind of “organic batter blast” you probably don’t want to Google Image Search for…

ATTENTION

• This product watertightness, but can’t get in touch with the Strong and sour or strong and alkaline aqua.
• Is project light upon by sunlight with long hours, place and will shine on to the product in the heat environment damage.
• Absolutely can’t at have the place usage of the flames originally product.
• Can’t use the strong line of sharp object opens the cassette tape.
• Need not at putrefied the situation usage that change in character is originally the product.

I bought this for my daughter. The Engrish warning text on the back of the packaging is astonishingly putrefied of the Strong alkaline is originally the product.

Did you know, Analog Noise Generators Are Superior?

Pseudo-random noise might sound O.K. at first, but the astute person listening to pseudo-random white noise would be able to detect the subtle variations & characteristics that repeat after a certain period of time. Analog noise is typically much smoother and does not contain the same variations that low quality digital noise may contain. And since analog noise does not need to play on loop mode, you will not get that annoying click that digital noise can sometimes produce when it loops back to the beginning. Click here for a sample recording of analog noise.

I can totally taste the difference!

via google.ad

Finely balanced almost unripe Semillon. Reminds one of banana, sweet lemon rind and traces of salad. Drink now through 2004.

Tasing Notes Genrator 1.0

Raw almost lackluster Cabernet Franc. Contains prune, arcane coffee and atomic traces of beef. Drink now through 2006.

Tasing Notes Genrator 1.0

Bamboo Garden Icy-Crispy Dragon Beard Candy

I just like to chant the name over and over and hope that some might appear. YUM.

a perfect oil painting of a superhero