quacky: —–+—+—–

here. this is the bad thing about naming appliances in the staff room:

“Does anyone know what happened to the 1/2 bag of
shredded cheese left in Gretel?

David Sedaris, on KUOW’s Weekday, 6/24/08

Steve: Think we’ll ever have a gay president?
David: Golly. That’s a toughie… Only after we have, um, oh goodness… only after we have an alcoholic Chinese president, I think, we’ll have a gay president.

David: I just got the internet. I saw it for the first time, I saw what it looked like, last September. … I’d never seen what it looked like, I’d never even seen it. And then my boyfriend Hugh got that… what, that thing, in the house where it’s just in the air, right? And he showed my how I could go on, so I went on, and I saw what it looked like… and then I forgot about it for four months … and then I got it, I remembered it. So I’m just at that point now where I go to bed, and then at two oclock, I lay awake, and then I think “I wonder what Russel Crowe is up to?” so I get out of bed, and look him up on the ol’ interweb. But I’m not very, it’s all pretty new to me.

Very nice.

a perfect oil painting of a superhero

Introduction — What makes a man fall in love? — Why do guys always need to be in charge? — Why does our sex life run hot and cold? — Why don’t men talk like women do? — What’s really bothering my guy? — Why won’t he open up about his feelings? — How can I get him to focus on me? — What does his silence mean? — What’s the difference between flirting and cheating? — Why do guys cheat? — Are men as vain as women? — Why do men always have to “fix” things? — Why do men fear anger? — Do men believe in love at first sight? — Why do men need to be alone? — What does he really think about your body? — Why do men work so much? — What does a guy’s opening line really mean? — How can I get him to focus on foreplay? — What really scares a man? — How do we know if it’s over? — Why won’t he tell me about his day? — What do men really want in bed? — What inspires a man to marry? — What do men really want in love?

So. Many. Questions.

Shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup!

This might get posted automatically by my link posting robot over at del.icio.us. But if not, here you go. Blonde Zombies is a neat blog in Spanish that pretty much contains nothing but cover shots of old sexploitation literature, film, comics and videos. Oh and actual video clips from such things as well. It’s really great, and I’m not going to put up a picture from it, because this is not *that* kind of internet page over here. It really isn’t. In fact, don’t tell my wife I’m even posting a link to this kind of internet page. I totally could get killed for that. No porn here! Just a curiosity, really. Imagine that! Some person who speaks Spanish collects cover snapshots with naked ladies on them! Kind of shocking and weird, right?

Comments (0)

Epitonic.com: Your Source for Cutting-Edge Music

Wow. It’s been a reallilong time since I accidentally discovered a good band.

This time, I could barely figure out how I discovered them, and I spent about sixteen and one-half internet hours grepping through my history and cache to figure out the via.

The weird thing is this: There isn’t one. I actually took something from real life, and looked it up on the internet, rather than doing the vice versa of that. So there wasn’t anything in the history, except for the first thing I found, which was from putting the word “ENON” into Google. Weird huh!?

So, there’s no via link because I heard Enon on the XM Radio in my car.

This is from google reader’s TRENDS function.

As you can see it is absolutely no surprise at all.

John K on all kinds of stuff writes:

Just as I was becoming aware of the futureness of style, the 70s descended and everything slipped into the dark ages Style and the future disappeared from the planet. Videotaped TV programs, Saturday Morning cartoons, soft rock and Star Wars cloaked the earth with a yellow ochre haze of blandness and the future died. Skill also vanished along with style.

Yeah man…

Choice pullquotes:

Typically, I would never advocate the addition of meat to a sweet cookie, but I’ve always viewed bacon as “the candybar of meats” so I only felt slightly weird about it.

Bacon panna cotta? no. Not good. Bacon Jello also wouldn’t work. I think the bacon might actually interfere with gelatin’s jelling properties, but I don’t know for sure, because I haven’t yet tried it.

There will be no sausage patty cupcakes or beef candy… Although I did make meat cupcakes for April fools day…

Observations:
Her actual cookie recipe is a little bit bizarre. I am going to stick with a traditional Tollhouse, plus bacon where some would add nuts, and then the maple glaze (sans cinnamon). WTF puts hazelnut flavoring in c.c.cookies??!!1

It’s an ad for Orangina soda, from Frenchy TV, which manages to fuse ‘art’, ’sexy’ and ‘furries’ into something crazy-hot and wrong.

Waxy.org links

Enormous Milla shows what NOT to wear when you are pregnant | the Daily Mail

Well. I’m only putting this on here because the headline is funny, and the picture is, well, stunning. I’m not endorsing the daily mail making fun of Milla, and I’m certainly not looking kindly on the implication that she somehow should not have gained five stone in her pregnancy. Also I’m not one of those weirdos who is all “raar rarr” about pregnant ladies, or even a super-big fan of Milla Jovovich.

I’m just sayin, how do you top Enormous Milla?

“When your ear itches and you scratch it with your finger, what feels better, the ear or the finger?”

Savage Love Web Extra : Fucked in the head, I guess it’s called, is a collection of reader-submitted wacky childhood perceptions about how sexy stuff works. It’s delightful and scary and comforting.

BRADY BUNCH - BRADY BUNCH STAR REVEALS ALL ABOUT LESBIAN FLING WITH TV SISTER

Just keep reading this couple lines over and over again until you explode or fall down:

“The most explosive comments will be how the then-blonde, blue-eyed cutie [Marcia] developed a crush on [Jan] Eve Plumb, which led to some sexual play. “This book will certainly come as a shocker. While Maureen is not a lesbian, she reveals there were some sexual hijinks going on behind the scenes.

earlier, via

Do your worst fourteen year old boy imitation in your mind when thinking up a funny photoshop for this book cover I hijacked from the library. And…. go!

GIS racks [nsfw]

Another survey about food. This one took about thirteen hours to complete (because I’m trying to look like I’m actually working) and I earned twelve dollars American. What you have to do to understand the oddness of this item is to silently remind yourself for each line or criterion, by saying “fresh fruit” before it. So, the first line or criterion reads, silently to yourself, “Fresh Fruit, Is Wholesome.”

Completely!

Please check a box next to each statement to show how much you think that statement describes Fresh Fruit.
Please select one answer only per statement:
	
	Not at all	Only a little	Somewhat	Very well	Completely
Is Wholesome
Is Healthy
Is Fresh
Fills you up
Has a taste/texture that I crave
Is one of my family’s favorites
Is a great start for the day
Can carry it with you to eat where you want to
Easy to prepare
Serving it shows others that I care for them
Reminds me of my childhood
Gives me the energy I need for the day
Has packaging that is easy to use
Looks Fresh
Is a good value for the money
Is a product I trust
Has consistently high quality ingredients
Is a product my kids like
Is only for special occasions
Is comforting
Provides a hot and filling breakfast
Provides a more complete breakfast
Is a product for everyday

pampernaut

i’m not sure what the futures are for this term. We’ll just have to wait it out.

bagina.jpg (JPEG Image, 400x166 pixels)

Found by Godzilla_eats_tokyo who claims I made it.

Defunker : Top Hat Monkey by Resource Rags
Sir Monkey of Essex was actually mayor for three weeks before anybody even noticed. His Free Banana platform was widely accepted.

Let me lead you through it:

Read this OverCompensating.com comic

In the comments, read along for the inspiration, this loopy, unawares, youtube video co-starring Kirk Cameron (”The Way of the Master”, “God’s perfect fruit”)

Start searching, and find eBay Forums: Very old Banana pull along toy with … :

I dumpster dove last night, and discovered this wonderful toy. It’s body is a horizontal 7″ banana with eyes and a pull along string emanating from its mouth. There is one small antenna on its head. Then, on it’s back is a 2.5″ diameter red ball with 9 antennae rising from, each on it’s own metal coil like spring, so the 3 red, 3 grn, 3 yellow balls sway about when the toy is pulled. On each side of the banana are 3 red balls as feet; they rotate and wheels would when it is pulled along. I know that I have seen this before, somewhere, maybe it is just from my memory as a child. I think this would have to go back to the ’50’s or earlier.

Don’t miss the first five or so pages of Google Images results.

Leading you to Blogography, and a neat little lesson about mis-interpreting God’s intentions WRT bananas.