quacky: —–+—+—–

If I closed down this Blogsome Blog and moved it into a proper WordPress.com site, like here? ( I mean HERE )

I don’t have anywhere else to put this kind of thing:

Amazon.com: The Muppet Christmas Carol - Kermit’s 50th Anniversary Edition

Since a complete widescreen version obviously does exist in the Disney archives (the Laserdisc version in the mid 90s was both widescreen AND complete), one can only wonder how and why Disney made this very insensitive and unprofessional decision!

To quote the inimitable Megan Fox “Fuck Disney!”

here. this is the bad thing about naming appliances in the staff room:

“Does anyone know what happened to the 1/2 bag of
shredded cheese left in Gretel?

I just have a hard time believing that nobody on this web page : Organic Batter Blaster | The Impulsive Buy : has even made a joke about the other kind of “organic batter blast” you probably don’t want to Google Image Search for…

Fimoculous.com - online - Boing

Stupid old internet controversies that happen when I’m away from keyboard for several days.

Finely balanced almost unripe Semillon. Reminds one of banana, sweet lemon rind and traces of salad. Drink now through 2004.

Tasing Notes Genrator 1.0

Raw almost lackluster Cabernet Franc. Contains prune, arcane coffee and atomic traces of beef. Drink now through 2006.

Tasing Notes Genrator 1.0

Introduction — What makes a man fall in love? — Why do guys always need to be in charge? — Why does our sex life run hot and cold? — Why don’t men talk like women do? — What’s really bothering my guy? — Why won’t he open up about his feelings? — How can I get him to focus on me? — What does his silence mean? — What’s the difference between flirting and cheating? — Why do guys cheat? — Are men as vain as women? — Why do men always have to “fix” things? — Why do men fear anger? — Do men believe in love at first sight? — Why do men need to be alone? — What does he really think about your body? — Why do men work so much? — What does a guy’s opening line really mean? — How can I get him to focus on foreplay? — What really scares a man? — How do we know if it’s over? — Why won’t he tell me about his day? — What do men really want in bed? — What inspires a man to marry? — What do men really want in love?

So. Many. Questions.

Shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup!

This might get posted automatically by my link posting robot over at del.icio.us. But if not, here you go. Blonde Zombies is a neat blog in Spanish that pretty much contains nothing but cover shots of old sexploitation literature, film, comics and videos. Oh and actual video clips from such things as well. It’s really great, and I’m not going to put up a picture from it, because this is not *that* kind of internet page over here. It really isn’t. In fact, don’t tell my wife I’m even posting a link to this kind of internet page. I totally could get killed for that. No porn here! Just a curiosity, really. Imagine that! Some person who speaks Spanish collects cover snapshots with naked ladies on them! Kind of shocking and weird, right?

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“It is sort of like a tiny self contained bacon cheeseburger”

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Benny-BlancoTag Archive for benny-blanco archive at Missingtoof.com

It’s calld Bangers & Cash, with tracks like Pu$$y and B.O.O.T.A.Y, and mostrad cover arts like above! YAOWZA.1`!!1

Choice pullquotes:

Typically, I would never advocate the addition of meat to a sweet cookie, but I’ve always viewed bacon as “the candybar of meats” so I only felt slightly weird about it.

Bacon panna cotta? no. Not good. Bacon Jello also wouldn’t work. I think the bacon might actually interfere with gelatin’s jelling properties, but I don’t know for sure, because I haven’t yet tried it.

There will be no sausage patty cupcakes or beef candy… Although I did make meat cupcakes for April fools day…

Observations:
Her actual cookie recipe is a little bit bizarre. I am going to stick with a traditional Tollhouse, plus bacon where some would add nuts, and then the maple glaze (sans cinnamon). WTF puts hazelnut flavoring in c.c.cookies??!!1

Rigid Scholarship on Male Sexuality - Chronicle.com is a kind of three-way book report from Camille Paglia who I guess has been actively writing things in the ten or whatever years since I last even wondered what she was up to. But wait! it’s a book report about scholarly books about male sexuality. Well, I’m not even really going to allow that the book report concerns male sexuality and here’s why: Paglia mainly focuses on ejaculation:

• “It has been called sperm, semen, ejaculate, seed, man fluid, baby gravy, jizz, cum, pearl necklace, gentleman’s relish, wad, pimp juice, number 3, load, spew, donut glaze, spunk, gizzum, cream, hot man mustard, squirt, goo, spunk, splooge, love juice, man cream, and la leche.”
• A scientist of the 1930s cataloged “50 variations in sperm morphology with names such as micro-sperm, megalo-sperm, puff-ball, and double neck.”
• hilarious illustrations of a “romantic and irresistible sperm” sporting a top hat and gift rose
• murky waters of infinite subjectivity
• Leonardo is reductively discussed in terms of penises:
• McLaren kneads Greece and Rome together like one big honey cake.
• In the 1950s, virility was heralded as the way “to beat back the perversions of communism and homosexuality”

Of course it’s not fair, what I said about focusing on the jizz. The third book in the report is about impotence, I just wasn’t able to pay attention that long. Here’s a pull-quote from that part and you’ll see what I mean: “missing the fertility symbolism in the ithyphallic Athenian herms, for example, which were apotropaic vestiges of the agrarian past (rather than a sexist parading of male power)”

Circle of Nudity — NSFWDUH.

Up until now, I have never wished I had thirty penises.

[ just kidding, mrs.quacky! ]

So my dad gave us a wonderful cookbook for our wedding. It’s called Feeding the Flock : First Baptist Church, Cokato, Minnesota, 1871-2007. Please, if you are a Library of Congress person, forgive my title punctuation.

It’s full of many wonderful recipes and cuisine examples from around the globe. All made by and for some of the jolliest Minnesotans you’ll ever find. This is not health food or hifalutin restaurant food you’d find in “the cities.” This is two cans of soup, one grocery store in town that only has lettuce six months out of the year, handed down from great, great, great Aunt Betty Crocker for generations, food.

I’ll be featuring some of them here, as I find them, or as we try to prepare them, laced with my acerbic commentary of course. All spelling/grammar peculiarities are as found. First up:

South Of The Border Wiennie Lotta

3 lbs. ground beef
2 lg. light. red kidney beans [ i can only assume she means cans ]
2 (10 1/2 oz.) tomato soup
1 lg. can tomato paste [ not sure how large ]
1 (29-oz.) can diced tomatoes
1 c. chopped onion
1 c. chopped celery
1 c. green pepper, chopped
Seasonings of your choice [ this demands some clever cookery! ]
1 pkg. flour tortillas [ do they only have the one size at Gary’s Grocery Mart? ]
1 lb. hot dogs
3 c. grated cheddar cheese

Fry ground beef [ I’m assuming, the way you would for tacos? ]. Drain and put into 5-quart pan [ probably not my glass-lid Calphalon 5-qt. chef’s sautee, I’m guessing. Maybe a baking pan? ]. Add beans, tomato soup, tomato paste, diced tomatoes, onion, celery pepper and seasonings. Stir together. Cook 2 hours [ Whoa. Maybe this actually is a stovetop thing, sorta like chilli? ] Using 9x13-inch pan, put layer of chili in pan [ wtf, is this ‘chili’ or ‘lotta’? ], layer of tortillas on top. Layer of chili, half of wieners cut up, 1/3 of the cheese on wieners. Repeat layers until pan is full [ aww crap, I wish I could start over! I didn’t save enough of the chili to do very many layers! ]
Bake at 325F for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Put foil loosely over top while baking.

[ NOTE: this recipe is proof that you should always read a recipe through to the end before starting, because the cook/recipe transcriptionist might throw you a loop at the end or in the middle that changes the course of the whole thing, and if you’re not ready for it, you could end up in a whole ‘lotta’ trouble! ]

bagina.jpg (JPEG Image, 400x166 pixels)

Found by Godzilla_eats_tokyo who claims I made it.

The Benign Comedy writes:

With all this skirt-chasing and ghost-wrangling, you’d expect to hear the music follow the drama. When he’s thrusting his porcine revolver into the loins of the subdued, dude should at least have a nice bolero chugging away.

That’s what I’m talkin bout…

Wikipedia: Palatine Uvula / Uvula in popular culture

NB: As of Thursday 6/21, 4:30pm, this scene will no longer play out near the back of my throat.

That has to be one of the best visual jokes to come out of this whole internet fad.

News in Science - Designer vaginas grown in lab - 31/05/2007

I’m kind of speechless.

Two points:

… a condition called Mayer-von Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome, or MRKHS for short … are born with no vagina

Related Stories:
Grow your own bladder, News in Science 4 Apr 2006
Grow your own nipples, News in Science 5 Apr 2005