quacky: —–+—+—–

Um if you carry this kind of stuff around on your flash drive, it’s probably best not to lose track of it, I’m thinking.

MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM <dir> Tor Browser
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM <dir> MacDrive 7.0.10
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM <dir> Gorean Texts, Scrolls and essays
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM <dir> Gorean Texts
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM <dir> Floola-win
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 1,123,456 1.mpeg
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 576 Alibris Gor books order number.txt
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 30,456 avatar_12345.png
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN AM 9,123,456 trillian-v3.1.12.0.exe
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 21,456 XXXX's myspace poems and work #1.rtf
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 1,123,456 wrar380.exe
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 7,123,456 Floola-win.zip
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 23,456 hypnomaster conversation 1-12-08.rtf
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 123,123,456 Imee_Oii.rar
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 3,123,456 MacDrive 7.0.10.rar
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 35,456 Equilibrium.mp4.[iPodTVNova.com].torrent
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 5,123,456 macdrive_7.2.5_en_setup.exe
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 2,456 MacDrive_7_0_10___KeyGen.torrent
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 7,123,456 RestrainedLife.zip
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 16,123,456 SLim-2.1.3010.1763-Release.msi
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 19,456 The.Golden.Compass.2007.DvDRip.TV.Optimized.mp4.[iPodTVNova.com].torrent
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 14,456 The_Phantom_Of_The_Opera__2004_Soundtrack___Special_Edition_.torrent
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 7,456 YYYY's chef letter2.rtf
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN AM 21,123,456 tor-im-browser-1.1.6_en-US.exe
MM/DD/200x HH/MN PM 879 WordPad.lnk
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 4,123,456 yam-win.zip

I’m trying to figure out how to make money posting things on the internet. Note I don’t call it ‘blogging.’

I know a fair bit about this, and I have ethics. That right there, I bet, is my problem.

Thing is, I think to make money posting things on the internet, you have to be an “affiliate” or own a giant blogging network (in other words be an “affiliate herder”).

Here’s why: there are only two real/new money-making opportunities on the internet: a) selling things; and b) bothering the shit out of enough millions of internet people to get a miniscule slice of them them to buy things that the merchants are selling via the internet.

That’s what “affiliates” do. They’re the same thing as the people (who you never see!) who drive around posting flyers and sticking corrugated yellow plastic signs, markered with “earn money @ home” 800 numbers, along roadways. They’re nothing but spammers, if I’m being completely Simon Cowell.

I’ve been trying to make money on the internet doing what I have always believed was the coolest thing about the internet: sharing stuff. Along the way, I stuck in some google ads, thinking that if enough of you internet people came by and enjoyed the stuff I share, I can “monetize” my sharing with little or no effort. In about fifteen years of having google ads on a few sites I run, I’ve yet to make enough for google to actually cut me a check. That’s a mere $100 dollars.

So I started up a few other blogs too. With the thought that I just needed to better target what share on the internet, to attract a more specifically niched type of advertising. My collaborative community steak blog, for a while, seemed like a promising idea. But then it turned out that as large as I wrote “this is a really cool idea, join us!” on the front page of that site, nobody seemed to want to join in to share their own stuff on my page. So I quickly discovered that I had to nag friends and relatives to write their own stuff, remember to take pictures of their steaks, etc. or else I’d have to provide all the content myself.

One guy, in a little town in the corner of the country, with a fairly limited budget, can’t singlehandedly write a community collaborative guide to steak that aims to cover the entire nation of steak dining opportunities. So that dried up, and eventually, after posting bare uncommented links, and stealing from flickr and google image search, that site pretty much died.

(more…)

Disclosure: this is also a diary over on DailyKOS

My sister is a very active Democrat, with very liberal views, including a healthy hatred of ignorance-based right-wing bigotry. Our parents, sadly, are not this way. My father’s wife, who seems like a relatively intelligent woman, forwarded my sister some crap meme email that’s going around among the illiberal chain email circuit — some horseshit about Obama being the anti-christ or something, based on the book of Revelations.

Normally getting a dimwitted forward from your dad’s wife isn’t something to get steamed about. We just delete and move on. But, the fact that Dad’s Wife should thouroughly understand my sister’s views about this presidential race, and yet forwarded the mail anyway, is beyond thoughtless.

Sis crafted a wonderful (and withering!) response. This is the real deal, right here…

(more…)

I’ve said this already.

• Larisa Alexandrovna: Welcome to the final stages of the coup…

Fascism is finally and formally out of the right-wing closet even if the F word is not yet openly being used (although it should be, and often).

We are in a crisis so dangerous that should these people succeed in their coup, your party affiliation will no longer matter, your American flag will be a nice collectible item of something that once was, and your version of God will be worshiped in secrecy because your freedoms will be owned by the few.

What do these words mean? “nationalized socialism”

Here’s one response from the opposing side:

… it’s time to rid ourselves of this pesky democratic republic and just smash the whole system so we can replace it with a system where those fit to rule have been bred that way…. Voting, democracy… messy encumberances that keep those fit to lead from leading, all because too many US citizens are too stupid to vote in their own best interests…. Sad, really. But then, such is the burden of being an elite in this country. STOP HATING US BECAUSE WE’RE BETTER THAN YOU!

I’ve said this before. It scares me that the above quoted mouth breathers are the ones with the weapons and NRA memberships and wal-mart employee discount. And those on the left, with perceptive and critical thinking skills denounce armed violence as ‘primitive.’

It never occurred to us that this was intentional, because it was meant to seem like an accident, a crisis, like a hurricane. Like the lessons of Katrina though, remember, who gets the help in a vast disaster these days? Not the poor.

Now is not the time to think hard about policy, or to lament what’s become of our ideals; now may just be the time to learn how to fight.

LimerickDB / Latest

#232 A limerick writer got meta
He thought one day “Well, guess I’d better.”
So now his credentials
Are self-referential
And none of his last lines end properly, because apparently that’s funny. 

#231 there once was a girl on the net
who sexed up a man she had met
he said “are you free?
I write x k c d.”
she replied with “you’re making me wet.”

So, I think I may have done permanent damage to my brain last night.

I was up til about two, wrapping presents for Mrs. Quacky, and I decided it might be fun to listen to all XX recordings of Sleigh Ride in my collection, back to back. This is a LOT of Sleigh Ride, but I figured, since I’ve decided to love this song this year, and I hadn’t heard enough of it naturally, I’d just kind of force the issue. (Marshmallow World is so last year, right? Phil Spector’s just not doing it for me this year.)

So here’s what happened. It was nice listening, blah blah blah, good variations of the song, and all…

But now, I think the fricken thing is stuck in my head forever!

I’m serious. I’ve tried talking to myself quietly, rinsing the mind with many other equally catchy holiday numbers, like Silver Bells, or Baby, It’s Cold Outside. But the damn thing keeps coming back, like a nasty MRSA infection.

I swear to god, every time my mind is idle for 15 seconds, it’s there. I’m telling you, do NOT try this!

I’m kind of worried. What if it never leaves?


Medley: Jingle Bells & Sleigh Ride, Henry Mancini
Sleigh Ride, Adam Kempa
Sleigh Ride, Andy Williams
Sleigh Ride, C3-PO & R2-D2
Sleigh Ride, Caiola & Ortolani
Sleigh Ride, The Carpenters
Sleigh Ride, Jim Nabors
Sleigh Ride, Mel Torme
Sleigh Ride, The Ronettes
Sleigh Ride, The Soulful Strings
Sleigh Ride, Steve Lawrence & Eydie Gorme
Sleigh Ride, TLC
Sleigh Ride, The Ventures
Sleigh Ride (The Latin Project Remix), Ella Fitzgerald
Sleigh Ride/Jingle Bells, Caiola & Ortilani/Jimmy McGrif
Sleigh Ride/Santa Claus' Party, Ferrante & Teicher/Les Baxter
Sleigh Ride, Mel Torme


Some things you never really get over. For many of my “peers”, that would be Transformers, or A-Team.

For me it is Super Friends and the Six Million Dollar Man.

Here are two lovely album covers, and if you follow the provided link and the do a heavy bit of scrolling with your mouse-wheel, you can download two of the most awkwardly nostalgic and unlistenable Christmas albums of all time.

Children’s Records & More: HERE’S WHAT I’M WORKING ON NOW FOR BOTH BLOGS - CHRISTMAS!!!

Circle of Nudity — NSFWDUH.

Up until now, I have never wished I had thirty penises.

[ just kidding, mrs.quacky! ]

You have to watch this advertisement for Pall Mall cigarettes from 1955. It is excellent.

The first thing that leaps out at me, is how the announcer guy rhymes “Pall Mall” with “gal pal.”

It just gets better from that point onward.

so this afternoon I’m doing another one of these surveys I’ve talked about. it kind of makes me feel like the American attitudes and general approach to food is really fucked up and sad. Here’s just one sample question.

Below you will see a list of statements that have to do with the last time you were eating out or ordering takeout. Please indicate to what extent you either agree or disagree with each statement. [ ranked on a scale from Agree a lot to Disagree a lot

• I ate while doing something else (working, talking on the phone, walking, driving, etc.)
• I wanted to eat something that reminded me of my childhood
• I wanted to eat something familiar and that I know I like
• I felt it was important to maintain a healthy diet
• I ate what I wanted to eat, even though it may not have been good for me
• I wanted to eat somewhere that I could catch up with family
• I wanted to eat something that brought back a memory
• I wanted a place that had a lot of different options
• I was concerned with my overall well-being
• I wanted to eat something “sinful”
• I wanted to eat a take-out meal that wasn’t fast food
• I wanted a really good cup of coffee with my meal
• I wanted to eat comfort food
• I needed to choose something that I could eat on the run
• I ate something indulgent to make myself happy

We’re back, and better than ever!!
It’s the new and improved Mr&Mrs Quacky!

This is one of those well-researched pieces of writing that makes you gape with astonishment one or two times per paragraph. If I did pull-quotes for the whole thing, I’d only end up NOT pasting about 1/5 of the whole text. I first encountered this Charles Fishman guy on last June 28th’s All Things Considered

in Fiji, a state-of-the-art factory spins out more than a million bottles a day of the hippest bottled water on the U.S. market today, while more than half the people in Fiji do not have safe, reliable drinking water. Which means it is easier for the typical American in Beverly Hills or Baltimore to get a drink of safe, pure, refreshing Fiji water than it is for most people in Fiji.

Message in a Bottle - Bottled Water - Luxury Water - Mineral Water

And for a chaser, this 1976 French TV Spot for Perrier, who started it all.

Fill in the blank with someone you know :

___________________ is one of the most recognisable music critics around — or at least his style is, not least for its willingness to tackle pop music as an art form worthy of sustained intellectual discourse rather than as a fleeting moment of adolescent flash. Reynolds breaks new ground, melding unbridled enthusiasm with a robust theoretical framework in a body of work that is thrilling for its eclecticism alone: he’s never less than compelling writing about hip hop, Britney or rave, as he is about grunge, prog or grime.

Hint: Ballardian: the World of J.G. Ballard » ‘Magisterial, Precise, Unsettling’: Simon Reynolds on the Ballard Connection

I’m not so sure it’s worth the carpal tunnel syndrome, but lately I find myself answering consumer research surveys for “money.”

I thought the thing I was signing up for was something to do with earning airline miles? But it’s actually not … It’s actually consumer research, and when they say they’ll reward me for spending “15 minutes filling out brief surveys” what they mean is, “you’ll get a three ‘dollar’ credit that you’ll never figure out how to redeem, for spending nearly an hour and fifteen minutes clicking the mouse so many times it hurts up in your guts.”

But sometimes it’s entertaining. Like these questions taken from the one I just finished:

Please indicate which special offer or promotion would most influence your decision on which brand of condoms to purchase.
Please select only one answer.

• Dollar off coupon
• Free clothing offers (t-shirts/baseball caps) [Hmm. I’ve been looking for a new baseball cap, and I never even considered getting a free DUREX one!]
• Entry into a sweepstakes
• Extra/free condoms in a standard box (such as 14 for the price of 12)
• A condom carrying case [Wha? They have condom-carrying cases now? I just keep them in my sunglasses case in the back window of the Celica…]
• A new variety of condom in a box I regularly buy [Like the free toys they used to put in cereal?]
• Store display (condom display in condom section of the store) [How about a store display with costumed mascot!?]
• If you received a free sample from an event you previously attended [Hmm. I guess I’d like to be invited to this kind of event! Unless it’s gay.]

Have you ever heard of a vibrating ring? It is a ring that is designed to provide intimate pleasure with vibrations for both partners. It is powered by a small battery, enclosed in a soft rubber casing. A vibrating ring can be worn with or without a condom.

• Yes
• No
• Don’t know

Where did you first learn or hear about vibrating rings?
Please select all that apply.

• On the radio [the hell?? what kind of radio advertises vibrating rings!?]
• In a TV advertisement
• On the Internet
• In a magazine or newspaper advertisement
• In a store
• In a magazine or newspaper article
• Within a TV program or a movie [It says “within” a tv program or movie]
• Talked to a friend [”Honey, Greg and Danny were telling me all about the Vibrating Ring this afternoon …”]
• Talked to a spouse or partner
• Other

How often do you purchase a vibrating ring?
Please select only one answer.

• Once a month or more
• Once every 2-3 months
• Twice a year or less
• Only for special occasions [”Honey, guess what I got us for our anniversary, Valentines, Easter, Mother’s Day, Arbor Day, Memorial Day weekend, Father’s Day, Yom Kippur, July 4th …”]
• Have only purchased a vibrating ring once

Making Blogging Pay over at The Nation has some of the same thrust I was making on Saturday about grabbing this whole left politics things by the balls and pulling hard. You have to PAY people to make powerful moves that actually work, no matter how much the left thinks this is stinky and bad. Money moves mountains. No group of volunteers ever moved a mountain.

It’s interesting to read stuff like Money is to Liberals as Sex is to Conservatives … if only to see that some of those netroots folks understand these things.

Just find your local Demo Burger stand at the county fair or wherever community-organized fundraiser food is sold. Compare the effectiveness of the Lions club or Kiwanis burger stand to the one run by the Left. You’ll quickly see what I’m talking about.

“But we live in a time in which humiliation and fame are not such easily distinguished quantities.”

She could have embraced her notoriety. “I had everyone calling my mom: Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer, Playboy. I could have been like Paris Hilton, but that’s not me. That thing is so unlike my personality; it’s not the person I am. I guess I didn’t think it was real.” As these experiences become commonplace, she tells me, “it’s not going to be such a big deal for people. Because now it’s happened to a million people.”

From a really eye-opening article in New York Magazine, “Kids, the Internet, and the End of Privacy: The Greatest Generation Gap Since Rock and Roll“ …

Nevermind what old farts say, kids these days just love stipping it bare and laying it all out on the internets. The whole vocabulary of privacy doesn’t even mean the same thing anymore.

In the best piece of neuro/narco-sarcastic retrospective rock writing I’ve read in the past several weeks — The Benign Comedy: They love you Long Time — erstwhile nasty piano-bar raconteur cum rock historian, Paul Shrug writes:

But the version of “Long Time” you hear on the radio isn’t the full version. It’s the second part of a two-part, combined song: “Foreplay/Long Time.” “Foreplay” is an instrumental prelude featuring 12,000 electric guitars, crashing drums, a bassist and an apocalyptic organ. (It should go without saying that there’s an organ on Boston as well.) The song is called “Foreplay” because it’s the tantalizing appetizer before the main dish, which is the pop hit “Long Time.”

The term “foreplay” is also used in sexual applications, referring to a series of gropes and gesticulations necessary to prepare nerve sensors in the human body for copulative activities. In the United States, “foreplay” is mainly done in coastal areas, very infrequently in the Midwest, and not at all in the South. “Foreplay” is also the national sport of France.

It is also hard not to admire the author’s writing’s punctuation’s adept mimicry of aggressively experimental Foster-Wallacean serial possessive constructions (even, it could be suggested, besting Wallace by constructing said serial posessives from pop-cultural acronyms).

Things That Make Me Think I Was Born Twenty Years Before My Time #117

Amazon.com: Generation S.L.U.T.: A Brutal Feel-up Session with Today’s Sex-Crazed Adolescent Populace: Books: Marty Beckerman

My farovite one is called
Uncle Sam fucks the world

MS Paint Porn!

Now with more “Hot sexy emoticon action“!