quacky: —–+—+—–

Being poor is like being in the asshole witness protection program.

–Alison Rosen via Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

There’s nothing like a search engine’s cached, or suggested, queries to set things straight in how one views the world of human relationships. Innit?

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Will Bailey writes for McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, 15 Uses For Vodka.
Here are two I love:

Make your own vodka sauce. Pour vodka directly onto food. Vodka sauce.

Clean your gun with a vodka-soaked rag. Now your gun will smell like vodka when you show it to people.

PoeBox.jpg (JPEG Image, 449x450 pixels)

I was actually trying to find something else, about the singer/pop personality named Poe. But I kept running in to cute old Edgar Allen!

My favorite culture blogger Paul Pearson, writes in Wake Up, Scandinavia!:

Every year my family and I look forward to the arrival of the new IKEA catalog. I keep the children home from the salt mines, sizzle up a mess of Swede Meatballs (”Swede” is short for “Swedish”), fill the room with the sweet smoky smell of lingonberries and dill, and crank up the Cardigans and Robyn full-blast.

To which all I would add is this:

First off, No you can’t have this shirt. It’s all gone. Ha!

I’m wearing this shirt today. Sometimes I wear it to make a point. Sometimes I just wear it. I bought it from Shirt.Woot almost a year ago? And never actually read their wonderful post describing it. It’s cool to read it now, cause I just responded to the shirt visually, and textually, without “knowing” what the shirt “means.” Now that I do, I can answer my wife the next time she asks (she asks every time i wear it).

What this world needs is more honest tattoos. . . . instead of that meaningless fantasy tat . . . try UNEMPLOYABLE in big Olde English lettering across your throat. Or maybe cover your chest with the mugshot from your most recent DUI, rendered in the style of Boris Vallejo if that makes you feel better. Or adorn your bicep with a wilted rose encircled by banners reading I’D RATHER BE WEARING SWEATPANTS.

See what I mean?

By a Tattoo Artist named Jamie Toon.