quacky: —–+—+—–

News in Science - Designer vaginas grown in lab - 31/05/2007

I’m kind of speechless.

Two points:

… a condition called Mayer-von Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome, or MRKHS for short … are born with no vagina

Related Stories:
Grow your own bladder, News in Science 4 Apr 2006
Grow your own nipples, News in Science 5 Apr 2005

I like to share for you something of my childhood.

My friend Dave and I used to listen to this on vinyl in their basement rec room. His parents were cool, and all parents were basically drunks. So as long as we stayed out of their hair while they had their drinks, we could listen to adult things like Steve Martin LPs, and watch tv all night. I suppose it’s sort of still like that for kids, only now the parents are cutting up meth and the kids are doing internet porn shows.

Anyways, it’s a classic.

So I’m still looking for shirts.

Well, I actually found a shirt now. Instead of an “old-school” rock shirt, that seemed a little pretentious or something, I guess I’m going to get a “stoner rock” shirt from a current band that I actually like listening to. Which would be High On Fire, who you can buy from StonerRock.com, and who have a shirt that looks like this:

I also bought a CD, totally impulsively, from The Heads (UK band), because what prompted me to go shopping was hearing a track on random shuffle mp3 by The Heads, and thinking, “hey I bet t-shirts by those guys would be cool.” No The Heads t-shirts, which is fine, cause I’d feel a little inauthentic, having never heard their music until today.

UNDERGROUNDTSHIRTS.COM - DAMNED PHANTASMAGORIA TSHIRT

What do you think? Should I get this $29 shirt?

Normally thingies like this don’t turn me on hard enough to put them on a page. Last.fm makes some pretty neat thingies though, and I like this one. It’s supposed to be a “quilt” of the albums I dig. I’m probably not gonna put it in the bones of my site, cause it doesn’t really fit anywhere good, and I’ve got to keep those ca$h generating (ha!) boxes “above the fold”. I don’t see anyway the Last.fm thingy can be monetized. ;-)

Some eCards has an eCard for practically every occasion besides those occasions that are already covered by Hallmark and American Greetings. With clipart stylings reminiscent of MNFTIU.cc’s David Rees, and poignant sentiments covering everything from apologies to workplace relations… Some eCards is the place to click.

My friend wanted answers for this question “if you had a thong with a built in chalkboard … waht would you write on your girl’s thong?” I guess it was for a punchline on a blog he writes.

I kept only thinking of Hazard signs, and that seemed popular and kind of stereotypically funny, you know … All Deliveries Use Rear Entrance kind of thing.

I like signs, and hazard signs especially have always appealed to the boy in me. So that was fun.

I got really excited though when I discovered that SpeedySigns has a custom t-shirt making web page!!!
Apparel - Custom T-Shirts at SpeedySigns.com

Of course, I had to make one. What do you think? It’s a bit weird, but I think it’s cool.

In a brief piece, ENOUGH ALREADY! - Whatevs, Slang Is Totes Stoops In Charge, Vice magazine writers declare the end of cultish obsessive slang fads:

So, to be clear, here’s what’s out: whatevs, ’tevs, gnarls, defs, probs, stoops, totes. Adding “-wise,” “status,” “much?” or “in charge” to the ends of words. Calling things “tight.” Or “sick.” “Redonks” or “ridics.” Any variation of the word “delicious” and anything you ripped off from Epicly Later’d. We’re sad to say that “riffing” has to go too. Although let’s say something happens where a joke is passed on from friend to friend and you call it a “riffle effect”—that’s clever. Clever is good. We encourage creativity with language. Puns are still OK. Making up your own in-joke words with your friends is great—using other people’s is lame.

I happen to agree, and I’m relieved that someone who uses this kind of slang in public situations, unashamedly, was the one who totes forwarded this to me. Awesome. However, what Vice doesn’t mention is there is now a slang vacuum, if you will, which needs filling up. So. My thought is this. Let’s make the world safe for vagina-rooted slang words. It’s time. The vagina has gone fully public, thanks to Ms. Hilton and Ms. Spears et al; so I believe now it is time for vaj-words to flourish.

Let’s begin with

• vajamas
• vajenga
• vajedi
• and Vice’s own “douche chills”

I’m not so sure it’s worth the carpal tunnel syndrome, but lately I find myself answering consumer research surveys for “money.”

I thought the thing I was signing up for was something to do with earning airline miles? But it’s actually not … It’s actually consumer research, and when they say they’ll reward me for spending “15 minutes filling out brief surveys” what they mean is, “you’ll get a three ‘dollar’ credit that you’ll never figure out how to redeem, for spending nearly an hour and fifteen minutes clicking the mouse so many times it hurts up in your guts.”

But sometimes it’s entertaining. Like these questions taken from the one I just finished:

Please indicate which special offer or promotion would most influence your decision on which brand of condoms to purchase.
Please select only one answer.

• Dollar off coupon
• Free clothing offers (t-shirts/baseball caps) [Hmm. I’ve been looking for a new baseball cap, and I never even considered getting a free DUREX one!]
• Entry into a sweepstakes
• Extra/free condoms in a standard box (such as 14 for the price of 12)
• A condom carrying case [Wha? They have condom-carrying cases now? I just keep them in my sunglasses case in the back window of the Celica…]
• A new variety of condom in a box I regularly buy [Like the free toys they used to put in cereal?]
• Store display (condom display in condom section of the store) [How about a store display with costumed mascot!?]
• If you received a free sample from an event you previously attended [Hmm. I guess I’d like to be invited to this kind of event! Unless it’s gay.]

Have you ever heard of a vibrating ring? It is a ring that is designed to provide intimate pleasure with vibrations for both partners. It is powered by a small battery, enclosed in a soft rubber casing. A vibrating ring can be worn with or without a condom.

• Yes
• No
• Don’t know

Where did you first learn or hear about vibrating rings?
Please select all that apply.

• On the radio [the hell?? what kind of radio advertises vibrating rings!?]
• In a TV advertisement
• On the Internet
• In a magazine or newspaper advertisement
• In a store
• In a magazine or newspaper article
• Within a TV program or a movie [It says “within” a tv program or movie]
• Talked to a friend [”Honey, Greg and Danny were telling me all about the Vibrating Ring this afternoon …”]
• Talked to a spouse or partner
• Other

How often do you purchase a vibrating ring?
Please select only one answer.

• Once a month or more
• Once every 2-3 months
• Twice a year or less
• Only for special occasions [”Honey, guess what I got us for our anniversary, Valentines, Easter, Mother’s Day, Arbor Day, Memorial Day weekend, Father’s Day, Yom Kippur, July 4th …”]
• Have only purchased a vibrating ring once

Online video-clip websites killed your TV …

Well not really. I actually believe YouTube is good for the TV business.

It was funny to me, because I kept on clicking the PLAY triangles on the t-shirt. And NOTHING HAPPENS!

foster kitten,
originally uploaded by Quacky.

I don’t really have anything to do with the fostering of this kitten. It is being fostered by one of the technicians that work with my Fiancee at the Vet place.

Here are three pictures, taken crappily with my phone cam, of the tiniest kitten ever. It was stupidly taken from it’s mother at the age of two weeks. It is really sad and cuter than a million other kittens all at once.

It is no bigger than a candy bar, and weighs about as much as three feathers. You could probably fit the whole thing in your mouth. No one is sure if it will live for very long, which is why you need to leave kittens with their mom as long as they need to eat from her.

Right now, this little guy thinks everything is (or at least should be) its mom’s milk-giving nubs. But everything is NOT that, and that’s how sad this is.

Hopefully the vet-tech gal who’s fostering will win this battle against stupidity, and this little kitten will be able to live beyond the next seven to ten days. She’s a real pro at the fostering thing.

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Freedom to Tinker » Blog Archive » You Can Own an Integer Too — Get Yours Here

Because if you don’t claim it today, someday the entertainment and/or publishing industry might own it!

Chreate Cheezy Craps

I can’t stop making these.

Scientists: masturbation not as good as sex | The Register
The levels of prolactin in the blood of subjects who committed an act of self-pollution after watching grumble flicks were just one fifth of those who had had actual sex in the lab.

I got this survey I’m not supposed to talk about until it goes “hard” (it’s still “soft” right now, so SHHH). I think it turned kind of funny after it started figuring out my lifestyle. Here are a few choice bits with my answers in bold:

* Do you floss regularly?
Yes No

* Have you shopped at Wal-mart in the past month?
Yes No

* Do you use a cell phone?
Yes, [are you kidding me?] No

* Do you believe in UFOs?
Yes, [are you kidding me?] No

* On a typical day, do you eat breakfast?
Yes [ even though I wanted to put “just coffee” I’m not that kind of strongman anymore ]
No
Just coffee

* How many do you have?

Tattoos 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 or more N/A
Piercings 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 or more N/A [I would’ve felt better if ‘0′ was an answer]

* You drink
never, sometimes, all the time

* You drink whisk(e)y
Yes [thank you for giving me the choice of whiskey spellings!] No

Then the darn thing got all crazy and bitchy and specific about how much and what brands of other boozes I drink regularly. I think, after this morning having taken a physical with Dr. Tom, I’m a little hypersensitive or something.

Isn’t it funny though? Do you floss, do you shop at wal-mart, do you have a cell phone, do you believe in UFOs?

Like, if I’m a non-flossing wal-mart shopper without a cellphone who believes in UFOs, would you still ask me the breakfast question? What if I had flossed regularly? Would they still have asked me about all the booze? Does the choice of whisk(e)y spelling hinge on the wal-mart shopping question?