quacky: —–+—+—–

My friends from the internet and I just recently had a little misunderstanding about pairing wine and food. The results could be considered by some moderately not unfunny.

Lloyd: ‘what kind of wine would you suggest for hamburger helper?’
Lloyd: this ‘house’ wine isn’t bad.
Matt: no new years, but it’s anti-new years
Matt: for hamburger helper, seriously? depends on the flavor. for the beef stroganoff, a decent chianti would offput the rich flavors of the creamy mushroom sauce
Lloyd: haha.
Lloyd: ‘what the dukes is going on out there?!’
Lloyd: some of the pseudo-cussing in the dukes of hazard is funny.
Lloyd: Matt: I got the hamburger flavor.
Lloyd: i haven’t had hamburger helper in years.
Lloyd: this wine store by me, i think, has like 10 types of wines. but 6000 makers of those 10 types of wine.
Lloyd: makes it hard to find things.
Lloyd: me, i just like the 5 gallon jugs.
Sabado: http://kittenwar.com/ = WHERE CUTE MEETS UGLY
Matt: oh, for the hamburger kind: a chardonnay, for sure. cheap.

Me: no way
Me: hamburger and merlot
Me: chardonay is strictly for tuna helper
Sabado: GAH
Sabado: you guys are PHILLISTINES
Matt: merlot is SO 2001 quacky
Me: dude you’re talking about hamburger HELPER
Matt: it’s a good sipping wine but far too heavy to go with hamburger helper’s rich flavors
Me: chardonnay would RUIN hamburger helper
Me: and vice versa
Me: maybe, if you MUST be trendy, a shiraz
Matt: you can taste the hamburger helper OR the merlot, but not both. it’s not as complimentary of a wine.
Me: but that’s too fruity
Matt: shiraz would be too fruity
Matt: yah.
Sabado: fuck shiraz
Sabado: that’s TOO trendy
Me: you know what? beaujolais.
Matt: it’s good though. I like it by itself.
Matt: shiraz, that is.
Me: right now, the thing I’d pick for hamburger helper, only NOT the taco/mexi kind, is a young beaujolais
Matt: Lloyd: basically any dark red wine will work, but with the noodles and spices, I think something a little lighter, like a chardonnay, would work better
Me: ack
Matt: if it was JUST hamburger (without the helper) merlot would be fine.
Me: THERE’s your phillistine ^
Sabado: hahahaha
Sabado: zuul high five quacky
* zuul high fives quacky
Me: thx
Me: you want a classic red wine
Me: nuff said
Sabado: * quacky throws down hardcore
Matt: chardonnay IS A classic red dork!
Me: uh. dude.
Me: dumbshit?
Me: zuul, define chardonnay wn
zuul: Chardonnay n 1: white wine grape [syn: {chardonnay grape}] 2: dry white table wine resembling Chablis but made from Chardonnay grapes [syn: {Pinot Chardonnay}]
Matt: …
Matt: omg, I’m so dumb
Me: what did you mean?
Me: cabernet?
Me: in that case, you’re DEAD RIGHT
Me: rookie mistake
Matt: yes
Matt: I did mean cabernet
Matt: why the fuck
Me: word
Matt: damn
Matt: there is a disconnect between my brain and hands
Me: ah
Me: blame the tools
Matt: cuz I slept all day and have had no coffee
Matt: Lloyd: DO NOT GET A CHARDONNAY FOR HAMBURGER ANYTHING!
Me: thx
Sabado: ahahahahaha
Matt: now a cabernet with hamburger helper, that’s the stuff. lighter than merlot, you’ll be able to taste everything better.
Sabado: you guys totes just made my day