quacky: —–+—+—–

Man. Several things open in tabs all at the same time and there’s no way I can really do them justice by writing something special for each. So there’s just a list:

• Indietits - Indie Tits, Safe For Work.
• Back of the Bible
• And a QT video making a really sly kind of fun of our current president, Harlan McCraney, Presidential Speechalist (kind of old)

Man, I can’t handle any more funny today!

People shop for the funniest things.

A few of the items recently found with Froogle:

I’m sort of in the market for an electrical coffee brewer, and I want one that has a) an unbreakable thermal carafe instead of a hot-plate; 2) a programmable timer so the coffee can be ready for my early-rising sweetie without my intervention; and 3) a really cute little elephant logo/trademark and eerily self-referential souvenirs.

The place I buy my coffee, the inimitable Batdorf & Bronson, only sells one electrical coffee brewing device: the Zojirushi EC-BD15 Fresh Brew Thermal Carafe Coffee Maker. I figure they know their coffee and shit, and they probably took some time and some serious consideration to settle on just a single machine. You know, that’s kind of a statement, an endorsement … It’s like saying “well, if you’re actually going to go ahead and buy one of these contraptions instead of carefully extracting the coffee spirit by your gentle manual persuasion of 196°F — NOT BOILING!!! — water, we suppose this would be the one we’d, you know, maybe buy our moms who probably can’t really taste the difference anyways.”

(more…)

“It’s just amazing,” reflects Steve Jobs, founder and CEO of Apple Computers. “All you have to do is make the products more colorful and less practical every couple of months and the Indie rockers come running with money in hand . . . or in most cases, credit cards they can’t afford (chuckles) . . . the formula is just too good.”

Yin-Yang Mossimo Hacky-Sack: Apple Continues Exploiting Dumb Indie Rockers

The Nano Nano iPod ships December 1st – just in time for the Indie Rockers to buy presents for their technologically retarded girlfriends. …

“It’ll be as thin as a hair follicle, as light as a soap bubble, and four times as expensive . . . it’s also Mork and Mindy themed and holds only one song at a time”

BEGIN IM TRANSCRIPT:

quacky: here is an example of how my job sucks:
q: right now I’m pruning a word list to generate random passwords from… because it was noted that there was a distinct possibility that a password like “vixen9mutt” could be generated and offend someone (presumably an ugly insecure woman)
q: so, this list is 7900 words long
q: and I have to get out things like “urine” and “girl”

(more…)

Have I written how much I get out of askmefi?

A Lot.

There.

How to seem…sluttier than I am. is a really good one I’m reading today, not because I am an inexperienced girlfriend who wants to seem more experienced… but for bits like this:

People pet cats because giving another being pleasure is satisfying; the genius of cats is simply to be willing to be honest about how good it feels to be petted.

–paulsc

Search Engine Journal » Grotica - Google Erotica Engine or Webmaster World Joke?

I’m kind of thinking, if Google really were to market segment itself in the dirty direction, they’d get someone to come up with a better name than ‘Grotica’ because that’s pretty much anti-sexy. So it’s a hoax.

Now what could be an actually Good name for a smut-only Google?

• smoogle
• booble (already taken)
• pr0n.google.com

It’s Hard!

***Your Birthdate: February 3***

Being born on the 3rd day of the month is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life.
The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental.
There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, “couldn’t care less” attitude.

You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression.
Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing.
You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.

You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters.
You are affectionate and loving, but sometimes too sensitive.
You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

whatdoesyourbirthdatemean

The Stranger’s Slog blog thingy reports on this rather interesting google: failure.

You get the official White House Biography of President George W. Bush.

There are or were a couple other single word google-ditorials like this one, but I can’t be bothered to remember exactly what they were.

All I know is, I can hardly think anymore without at least wondering what Google might say. So, there’s that then.