quacky: —–+—+—–

I found out today they have a festival nearby called Egg Day!

I have a soft spot in my heart for small-town festivals, having grown up with one of them in my own hometown.

I miss it.

So, ever since I moved to the west coast states I’ve always wanted to follow US Hwy 12 back home to the small town where I grew up, because “The Twelve” goes from the ocean near where I live now, straight [ahem!] back through to Home. And then allthe way back to Detroit. I’m not sure I’ll get to do it in a 68 Mustang any time soon, but today I larked upon a trip I could actually take.

5/25/05

10:12am i’m driving west on US Hwy 12 with google.maps.

Did you know you can navigate the google.maps with your keyboard arrows? You can actually “drive” it, almost like a video game.

And use + and - to zoom. All interactively. This is some AMAZING technology!!

(more…)

Jesse Ruderman » AutoLink user script

This is so great.

A long long time the thing I’ve wanted to fix about web pages on the internet (especially search results from mailing lists!!) has been that there are many times things that should be linked, but that aren’t linked.

This user script, which you install into the fabulous world-changing Greasemonkey extension to Firefox does that and more. It even makes links out of ISBNs and other stuff.

Thanks Jesse!

Still haven’t seen it yet and this is why: Nerds and pot are a dangerous combination.

1. All of Chewbacca’s Dialogue in the Comic Book Version of The Empire Strikes Back.
2. Embarrassing Things That Might Happen To You While Using A Lightsaber.
3. Names of Cheeses Inspired by Star Wars Characters.
4. Armed Band of Thugs or Minor Star Wars Character?
5. Quotes From Either President Of The United States George W. Bush Or Senator/Chancellor/Emperor Palpatine From The Star Wars Movies.
6. Lines Of “Star Wars” Dialogue If Obi-Wan Kenobi Had Been Really, Really Depressed.
7. World Capitals Or Jedi Knights.
8. On the Implausibility of the Death Star’s Trash Compactor.

Further reading:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&c2coff=1&
q=site%3Amcsweeneys.net+%22star+wars%22+OR+jedi+
OR+%22empire+strikes+back%22+OR+%22clone+wars%22+
OR+sith+OR+yoda+OR+skywalker+OR+%22death+star%22+
OR+r2-d2+OR+c-3po+OR+chewbacca+OR+leia+OR+%22obi+wan%22+
OR+calrissian+OR+%22cloud+city%22&btnG=Search

Wired News: Put Smut in Its Place

ENDORSED!!!!

Help!! — in going through the links in the WIRED article, I came across a Wikipedia entry, which I followed up to the parent Wikipedia entry, Pornography. Just scanning it, because i never have time to read really big Wikipedia entries I find reference to a porno convention that I’ve never heard of and that, for the life of me, I just can’t figure out. The HELL is a “dog-and-lamp-post” position?? Pics plz!?!?

So please let’s collaboratively put something together, I’ll give you credit, send you a few really rare and unidentifiable un-DRM’d mp3’s or something as a bounty, give you credit in the Wikipedia entry I’ll have to write, anything… Please!! post explamations/linkage/pics in comments, kay? thx buddys!!!

This is not me.

include ("$BASE_path/includes/stolen_username_rant.inc.php");

However, it occurs to me: what if I join forces with this person? To create the most comprehensive all-encompassing quacky identity force ever? Somehow I think it could explode the whole galaxy or something.

include ("$BASE_path/includes/totally_making_shit_up.inc.php");

Anyway, hopefully someone who is reading this particular quacky thing would never make the mistake of construing that other so very wrong quacky thing as a representative expression of me.

Short note: During a recent (slightly off-color) conversation I was somehow prompted to perform the following search:

french canadian sausage

Not that I’d ever really stopped to consider it, but can it really be true that French-Canadia simply has no native sausages?

this space intentionally filled with nothing sausage-related or canada-related or french-related just because I hate the fact that the formatting of this really short piece of writing is all messed up by the height of that sausage statue picture and I dont feel like taking the time to figure out how better to format it

Man: “Excuse me! Just so ya know, you can’t smoke anywhere on school property.”

Me: “Okay. Sorry ’bout that.”

That happened to me on the way to work this morning.

I walk from the bus stop, cutting through the campus of a high school vocational skills center. The cut I make is just right along the edge of the place, along the edge of the parking lot. It’s a walking thoroughfare kind of; in fact at the same moment today, there was a fellow jogging through in the opposite direction.

What I wonder is, did this minor school official — probably head of grounds maintenance from the looks of him — did he lie in wait for me there on my way through to work? I mean, I walk there five days a week, at the very same time. Did someone tip him off that there’s this man in a baseball cap that smokes a cigarette on campus every day? What the hell is his motivation for protecting his campus in this way from the seductive evils of my three transient puffs of smoke? I picture whole classrooms of kids — soon-to-be line cooks, auto-mechanics, bank tellers, and cosmetologists — pressing their faces against the glass wishing they could just be like me for seven minutes. Nah.

Anyway, here’s my plan: tomorrow, I’m not changing my habitual on-the-way-to-work smoke. Except for one thing: I’m just not going to take a drag as I transit the campus. If the “excuse me” guy is there I’ll calmly tell him, “Yes sir. Of course. But you see, I’m not smoking on school property; I’m carrying this lit cigarette to the other side of school property.”