quacky: —–+—+—–

Blogiversary giveaway: 2 years, 8 prizes! » Hey Epiphora

This blog, Epiphora, is celebrating Two YEARS in existence talking about sexy toys. We long for the day when it is cool and acceptable for men’s sex toys in every home! That day could be today (or October 15th, when the contest ends!) If we are awarded the Fleshlight we so desire!

Men need sex toys too!

Just got this in my email box. It’s some suggestions for an Oscar Party, I think, recipe suggestions from Epicurious.com which normally I love. But this list, it’s like if you wanted to offend and confuse your Oscar party guests you might serve the following in succession:

• Piquillo Pepper and Sardine Tartines
• Jerk Beef on Plantain Chips
• Baked Chicken Meatballs with Peperonata
• Shrimp and Andouille Pot Pies
• Cardamom Vanilla Pound Cake

Some of it, sounds good. But all of it? Yeesh!

[reposted, from my Wordpress where I can’t stupid post ads, dammit!]

If I closed down this Blogsome Blog and moved it into a proper WordPress.com site, like here? ( I mean HERE )

Being poor is like being in the asshole witness protection program.

–Alison Rosen via Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

There’s nothing like a search engine’s cached, or suggested, queries to set things straight in how one views the world of human relationships. Innit?

[Hover mouse to enlarge screens]

Will Bailey writes for McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, 15 Uses For Vodka.
Here are two I love:

Make your own vodka sauce. Pour vodka directly onto food. Vodka sauce.

Clean your gun with a vodka-soaked rag. Now your gun will smell like vodka when you show it to people.

PoeBox.jpg (JPEG Image, 449x450 pixels)

I was actually trying to find something else, about the singer/pop personality named Poe. But I kept running in to cute old Edgar Allen!

My favorite culture blogger Paul Pearson, writes in Wake Up, Scandinavia!:

Every year my family and I look forward to the arrival of the new IKEA catalog. I keep the children home from the salt mines, sizzle up a mess of Swede Meatballs (”Swede” is short for “Swedish”), fill the room with the sweet smoky smell of lingonberries and dill, and crank up the Cardigans and Robyn full-blast.

To which all I would add is this:

First off, No you can’t have this shirt. It’s all gone. Ha!

I’m wearing this shirt today. Sometimes I wear it to make a point. Sometimes I just wear it. I bought it from Shirt.Woot almost a year ago? And never actually read their wonderful post describing it. It’s cool to read it now, cause I just responded to the shirt visually, and textually, without “knowing” what the shirt “means.” Now that I do, I can answer my wife the next time she asks (she asks every time i wear it).

What this world needs is more honest tattoos. . . . instead of that meaningless fantasy tat . . . try UNEMPLOYABLE in big Olde English lettering across your throat. Or maybe cover your chest with the mugshot from your most recent DUI, rendered in the style of Boris Vallejo if that makes you feel better. Or adorn your bicep with a wilted rose encircled by banners reading I’D RATHER BE WEARING SWEATPANTS.

See what I mean?

By a Tattoo Artist named Jamie Toon.

Great NYT articleBrain Is a Co-Conspirator in a Vicious Stress Loop - NYTimes.com says: “chronically stressed rats los[e] their elastic rat cunning and instead f[a]ll back on familiar routines and rote responses, like compulsively pressing a bar for food pellets they ha[ve] no intention of eating”

… and of course i know exactly what the fuckers are talking about, fuck. Cue soundtrack, Pissed Jeans, King of Jeans.

Note: preceding video not found on “King of Jeans.” I totally knew that.

Porcini Powder – Opium for the cooks « Hong Kong Phoodey
the umami taste was so potent it actually hit me on a mental level. It felt like I was tweaked on drugs. So I think I’m going to have to use it a bit more sparingly, otherwise eating may become just too intense.

I think I’ve made a discovery so significant, it penetrates to the heart of so many other human pursuits. Yes, I do mean “human”, in that it applies to all of us. It’s not so narrow as to be merely a cultural thing, or a modern thing. But I think it lies beneath almost everything suggested by the question “what is it to be human?”

In a sense, this thought, which is actually a question, could, I think, be said to lurk in the depths of our art, our philosophy, our scientific endeavors, music, poetry, literature, religious thought, even war and politics. The ridiculous thing is, it is a question without answer; an intractable question; a self-referential, maddening gyre of a question; an infernal, stubborn, infinite recursion.

The question that plagues us, has plagued us since thoughts began to form in our proto-cognitive prehistory, is a simple one. At least grammatically speaking… Yet it seems to be diamond-like kernel — perhaps galaxy-pinning black hole — of every human endeavor (with the possible exclusion of cuisine). It is … (more…)

Um if you carry this kind of stuff around on your flash drive, it’s probably best not to lose track of it, I’m thinking.

MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM <dir> Tor Browser
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM <dir> MacDrive 7.0.10
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM <dir> Gorean Texts, Scrolls and essays
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM <dir> Gorean Texts
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM <dir> Floola-win
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 1,123,456 1.mpeg
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 576 Alibris Gor books order number.txt
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 30,456 avatar_12345.png
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN AM 9,123,456 trillian-v3.1.12.0.exe
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 21,456 XXXX's myspace poems and work #1.rtf
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 1,123,456 wrar380.exe
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 7,123,456 Floola-win.zip
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 23,456 hypnomaster conversation 1-12-08.rtf
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 123,123,456 Imee_Oii.rar
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 3,123,456 MacDrive 7.0.10.rar
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 35,456 Equilibrium.mp4.[iPodTVNova.com].torrent
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 5,123,456 macdrive_7.2.5_en_setup.exe
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 2,456 MacDrive_7_0_10___KeyGen.torrent
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 7,123,456 RestrainedLife.zip
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 16,123,456 SLim-2.1.3010.1763-Release.msi
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 19,456 The.Golden.Compass.2007.DvDRip.TV.Optimized.mp4.[iPodTVNova.com].torrent
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 14,456 The_Phantom_Of_The_Opera__2004_Soundtrack___Special_Edition_.torrent
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 7,456 YYYY's chef letter2.rtf
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN AM 21,123,456 tor-im-browser-1.1.6_en-US.exe
MM/DD/200x HH/MN PM 879 WordPad.lnk
MM/DD/2xxx HH/MN PM 4,123,456 yam-win.zip

Retro Recipes: Titty Sauce Yams, 1961 is part of a series of blogs, that I just don’t have the time to read right now. From a wonderfully literate and elegantly witty food writer. I love Stephanie Butler’s prose, and her take on this old wack-job cookbook from the good old days of chauvinism and terrible food:

Bull Cook and Authentic Historical Recipes and Practices … by the illustrious Mr. George Leonard Herter of Waseca, Minnesota. It’s impossible to improve upon or even accurately convey the passionate prose of Mr. Herter, so I’ll let him take it away. From the third paragraph:

“I will start with meats, fish, eggs, soups and sauces, sandwiches, vegetables, the art of French frying, desserts, how to dress game, how to properly sharpen a knife, how to make wines and beer, how to make French soap, what to do in case of hydrogen or cobalt bomb attack. Keeping as much in alphabetical order as possible.”

The got milk? people have done something unconscionable.

Complete Stax/Volt Singles 1959-1968 boxset.

I just came across a bunch of these Stax-Volt box sets that I could have for relatively cheap. What a treasure! But there’s one problem, the MP3 tags are impossible! For whatever reason, they’re not auto-tagging from the web, or with my MP3 tagging programs. The darn things just don’t exist. So I’ve got about 3 or four (not quite sure) big piles of really badly tagged, nine-volume box sets of soul music. It’s not so bad, really, just a kind of mammoth data entry project. But MAN, I wish CD manufacturers would offer that their stuff was already tagged. don’t you?

I’m trying to figure out how to make money posting things on the internet. Note I don’t call it ‘blogging.’

I know a fair bit about this, and I have ethics. That right there, I bet, is my problem.

Thing is, I think to make money posting things on the internet, you have to be an “affiliate” or own a giant blogging network (in other words be an “affiliate herder”).

Here’s why: there are only two real/new money-making opportunities on the internet: a) selling things; and b) bothering the shit out of enough millions of internet people to get a miniscule slice of them them to buy things that the merchants are selling via the internet.

That’s what “affiliates” do. They’re the same thing as the people (who you never see!) who drive around posting flyers and sticking corrugated yellow plastic signs, markered with “earn money @ home” 800 numbers, along roadways. They’re nothing but spammers, if I’m being completely Simon Cowell.

I’ve been trying to make money on the internet doing what I have always believed was the coolest thing about the internet: sharing stuff. Along the way, I stuck in some google ads, thinking that if enough of you internet people came by and enjoyed the stuff I share, I can “monetize” my sharing with little or no effort. In about fifteen years of having google ads on a few sites I run, I’ve yet to make enough for google to actually cut me a check. That’s a mere $100 dollars.

So I started up a few other blogs too. With the thought that I just needed to better target what share on the internet, to attract a more specifically niched type of advertising. My collaborative community steak blog, for a while, seemed like a promising idea. But then it turned out that as large as I wrote “this is a really cool idea, join us!” on the front page of that site, nobody seemed to want to join in to share their own stuff on my page. So I quickly discovered that I had to nag friends and relatives to write their own stuff, remember to take pictures of their steaks, etc. or else I’d have to provide all the content myself.

One guy, in a little town in the corner of the country, with a fairly limited budget, can’t singlehandedly write a community collaborative guide to steak that aims to cover the entire nation of steak dining opportunities. So that dried up, and eventually, after posting bare uncommented links, and stealing from flickr and google image search, that site pretty much died.

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Watch yourself! Jamie is coming!
Jamie Oliver and American Idol host Ryan Seacrest join forces to fight obesity in the USA | Mail Online.

In other news, the Olivers are a couple of nutters:

The new project comes just a month after Oliver and wife Jools, 34, celebrated the arrival of their third daughter Petal Blossom Rainbow.

Shaving my nipples the only way a real man can…. with black electrical tape.
6:27 PM Apr 17th from web
Boiled a dozen eggs, colored them and covered them in glitter. I then shoved them up a Malaysian man’s ass for the cost of free ninety-nine.
7:53 PM Apr 11th from web
Woke up naked on the kitchen floor next to a dog bowl full of my own piss. Good Friday, where are you?
2:03 PM Apr 9th from web
Pre-op tranny + dong tape + unholy hole + me = a chocolate thunder renaissance
7:31 PM Mar 30th from web

@Carrot_Top who is incredibly twisted, and probably not real